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Foot Like A 3D Engine: Football Manager 2014

Have there ever been two foot-to-ball posts on RPS during a single twenty four hour period? I’d go back and search through the archives but I can hear Kenneth Baubles, the ill-fated librarian, dragging his pegleg around back there. Best not to disturb him. Whatever the case, we’re almost back-to-back with balls today. First it was Graham’s turn to give FIFA a good kicking, although he was wearing fluffy slippers at the time so ended up delivering a gentle foot caress. Now I’m stepping up to the spot and staring at Football Manager 2014’s new 3D match engine as it throws shapes between the goalposts in an effort to confuse me. Below, you can see the revamped engine’s first public appearance.

When walking the corridors of RPS Towers, I have to whisper everytime I express my admiration for Football Manager. It’s a forbidden love, even if complex stat-heavy simulations are precisely what PCs were built to contain. Shhhh. They’ll hear us.

Let’s relocate.

Come on in. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe as long as you don’t stand on any of the completely rotten floorboards and weigh less than forty five pounds.

This is where I go when I want to play a sporting simulation. The others don’t know about it, which means they can’t stop me. It used to be in much better condition but a group of angry Football Manager fans bombarded me with biscuits and bovril when I mentioned that I actually like playing with the 3D match engine rather than the more traditional top-down view or using the hallowed ‘commentary only’ mode. I’m an exile in my own community, you see, but I simply refuse to change my ways.

I like the match engine and last year’s was great once the early kinks had been worked out. I’m looking forward to putting the new one through its paces as soon as the beta is available, which should be any day now.

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Adam Smith

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