“The Nvidia Shield already enables users to go literally anywhere,” says the press release that dropped in my mailbox. OK. I know some people might think they’ve changed the definition, but that’s like trying to argue that GIF is pronounced with a ‘j’ sound. It’s wrong no matter who says it. Does the Nvidia Shield allow me to go to Jupiter? Can I wield its strange handheld form while sat inside a physical manifestation of the concept of childhood opportunity, where summers felt endless and forests seemed to possess some fantastic secret deep within? Does it allow me to play games from inside a cat’s butthole?
No. But probably its new update would allow me to stream games from my PC to my couch or TV, and that’s pretty neat I guess.
Hey check out this terrible trailer.
Things to don’t:
- Make your advert look like a review when it’s not a review, it’s an advert.
- Within that context, portray your weird handheld controller-console thing as a magic device free from all faults, like what if my wireless network isn’t fast enough and probably it would eventually break from heat alone if I kept it in that clothes dryer.
- Send your supposedly likable slacker faux-reviewer to a strip club for a quick joke, and then have the only other women visible in the entire video be pretending to be prostitutes.
Anyway, in light of Valve’s recent SteamOS announcements, it’s interesting that the unloved Shield now has better functionality to stream PC games to a device you can play elsewhere in your house, and to hook that device up to your television.