I didn’t grow up in a house where wrestling was ever on TV, so WWF was only ever this strange thing that made my friends want to “choke slam” and “clothesline” me, or otherwise do unpleasant things to one another. Yet still I’ve picked up enough residual love from Craig to think this is cool. SLAMMED! is an interactive fiction game about wrestling, and it has a kayfabe stat.
It also has a ‘promo ability’ stat. Its early choices, as played in the demo, let you choose your name, gender, style, and whether you’re a face or a heel, as part of putting together a promo video. Me? I’m Dwayne Blood, aka Ender Gallow.
You consider your eloquence on the microphone to be your greatest asset. If there is one thing that all the professional wrestling greats have in common, it’s their charisma. Promo ability is what separates the stars from the scenery.
It spirals out from there, through your first fight and onwards, and the demo is pretty generous. You might like it. If you do, it’s £2.49 from the Chrome web store.
I’m now imagining a Crusader Kings-style RPG about wrestlers. I want to live out my Dink and Doink dreams.