It is very cold where I am right now. Winter has clenched my weary fingers in its icy hand, and I fear that the end is nigh. San Francisco, how dare you drop below the world’s most ideal temperature? How dare you? But it wasn’t always this way. I was happier once, plump with evergreen hope. Was it eons ago? Years? I’ll probably never know. But I do know that I discovered a really neat looking procedural stealth game during that time, and now it has a name, release date, trailer, and everything! Not The Robots, a randomized permadeath sneak-’em-up about, um, eating furniture, will be out later this month. Let us pray that these thin-blanket-necessitating temperatures don’t claim me before then.
By way of publishing aid from No Time To Explain and Speedrunners developer tinyBuild, Not The Robots will be coming to Steam later this month for $9.99 of your human dollars. It is about these things:
“A procedurally generated stealth game about learning to survive, making sense of your surroundings, and eating furniture. [There are] as many levels as you want to play. More than you and your friends will ever have time for.”
It looks as unique and eccentric as ever, but there is some method to its diabolical gauntlet-generating madness. Not The Robots will contain three main modes: campaign, operations, and challenge. Campaign is the longest of the three and requires practice before you’ll have any chance of completing it, challenge provides you with quick one-to-two-minute mini-levels, and operations falls in between, offering unique four-to-six-level trials.
Look for the full release soon. Also, if you get this message, please send help in the form of high-quality sweaters and hot chocolate. Horace bless you all, each and every one.