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Pretty Kitty: Jerk Cat Sim Catlateral Damage Gets An Upgrade

Fact: if you misspell 'cat' entirely, it reads, 'small furry embodiment of unfathomable evil.' Also, you may have a spelling problem

Catlateral Damage delighted me when it first sauntered onto the scene and calmly wreaked havoc on everything we idiot humans hold dear last August. Its central thesis, the message it hoped to spread to future generations like so much toxoplasmosis? Cats are jerks, and if you leave them alone they will inevitably start breaking all of your things. But what are games if not the 21st Century’s great equalizer? And so, Catlateral Damage allowed you to¬†take on the role of the cat. Revolutionary! But the game didn’t stop there. Oh no. It’s continued to evolve every day since, and now it’s resurfaced on Steam Greenlight with a whole host of new and upcoming features.

As you can see, it’s added a shiny new coat of cel-shaded paint, more items, and a slightly more robust environment. You can play a free version here. But the game is still in alpha, and there’s plenty more to come. For instance:

  • More levels to wreak havoc in
  • Lots more items to destroy
  • New gameplay modes, such as Free Mode and Cat Ops (Stealth Mode)
  • Better graphics, better sound effects, more than 0 music
  • Achievements, because why not!
  • Oculus Rift support

Stealth mode? Be still, my beating heart. Yes, it might end up terrible, needlessly difficult, and consistently frustrating (much like cat ownership!), but the idea is rife with potential hilarity. That’s right, human. Stare aimlessly at your daily paper of unknowable scrawlings. Just a little bit longer and – BOOM – your boiling cup of coffee is now in your lap. Tee-hee I’m a cat, time to go find a surface I haven’t peed on and make you curl up into a fetal ball of pure futility. And then I’ll take a nap on your ribcage!

Between this and Team Meat’s Mew-Genics, I think it’s pretty safe to say that cats are taking over the gaming industry. Oh well, they already rule the Internet and our homes. I suppose this was inevitable.

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Nathan Grayson

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