Call Of Duty Ghosts Just Can’t Stand Those Awful Women

Call Of Duty’s online world has something of a reputation. A reputation for being a cesspit of revolting idiocy, bile and cruelty, rather spoiling it for those who just want some multiplayer shootyfun. So it is to this that Activision have targeted their latest trailer for Ghosts Onslaught. To the idiots, I mean.

Call Of Duty is, in Activision’s mind, what men do when they can finally escape the horrors of hideous wives or children. A game for men only. MEN. Not those awful nags! Just the lads! Cor eh guys, don’t the missus just go on and on and stop you from enjoying shouting obscenities into your microphone because of something about raising the kids or whatever she’s whinging about now?! Because it’s apparently 1994, and we’re all reading Loaded.

My explanation: an advertising executive time travelled from a more pathetic age. “Hey guys,” he said, to the room full of other men. “What if we show massively traumatised women while men enjoy a sit down and a game of COD?” The others all sit up in interest, slicking back their slicked back hair. “Go on, go on,” says their 27 year old boss, coughing slightly on the cigarette he’s trying to smoke. “You’ve got our synergistic attention.”

“Okay,” continues the inspired one, “and you see…” He pauses, looks around the room at the open-mouthed rapture of his colleagues, and breathes in the moment. “Well ‘COD’ – that sounds a bit like ‘KID’. We could say…” He stops again, as everyone leans forward. “We could say, ‘CODNAPPED’!”

There’s silence for a moment. And then just the throng of applause. One man weeps with joy, and is immediately shot in the head. The rest lift our genius onto their shoulders, and carry him from the room, cheering and explaining to each other about their potential for consuming alcohol and that time they saw a boob.

And scene.

It’s rather pitiful really, isn’t it? Which is a bit of a shame, because blimey, the game bits look pretty decent. Call Of Duty: Ghost’s single player was utterly dreadful, but look at those massive alien things! That’s part of Extinction Episode 1: Nightfall. That bit looked pretty interesting. Just showing the game, I imagine they’d have appealed to not only the fuckwits they’re apparently targeting with the rest of the ad, but also, you know, other people. I’m pretty sure other people have some money too.


  1. Jackablade says:

    Yeah, I’ll generally get behind the anti-sexism movement, but this feels like it’s reaching quite a bit and I’m not so sure that an entirely humourless approach to the issue isn’t actually exacerbating the situation.

  2. vash47 says:

    Hahahaha, holy shit, John. Thanks for writing the worst article ever on RPS. You did it man, you finally made something Kotaku-worthy!

    The funniest thing is trailer was actually pretty good.

  3. gi_ty says:

    While I can see your point with this ad it does seem a little over zealous. I am not a fan of COD personally but have often been exasperated by life things that are preventing me some indulgence in whatever virtual world I happen to be inhabiting at the time. That is all I perceived from this. While I do respect your opinion and can agree with that the segment with the father and the baby is in bad taste I don’t feel the message is overtly sexist. A large portion of their audience is twenty something males and it seems to me that the message they were trying for somewhat misguided though it may be came through clear. To me that is it would be nice to have someone take you away from daily stresses and have a little selfish indulgence without repercussions. I guess that is kind of a negative power fantasy on its own but it seems more selfish than sexist.

  4. alms says:

    Wait, is that really Tommy from Snatch?


  5. Chris Wray says:

    Out of all this, I’m just incredibly disappointed that Stephen Graham lowered himself to featuring in this shit-pile of an advert.

    The ad is shallow and pointless. Yes, it should have had a woman or two either being kidnapped for some gaming and/or taking part in the kidnappning. Listen people, women are part of the military too, they’ve proven themselves quite capable of kidnapping some helpless shut-ins who want to play the new overpriced CoD DLC.

    Most of all, I’m just depressed that the DLC will add another few hundred million to Activisions coffers when the effort to develop most of it is about the same effort I put into my morning shit. Apart from that alien mode, that looks good.

  6. Deckboy says:

    I get John’s point but it seems over the top this time and makes me all the more likely to ignore him the next time around. In the past I’ve been totally on board but I think you’re trying too hard, now. You’ve made your point very clear before, I don’t think there’s a need to go (cue dramatic internet analogy) on a witch hunt, I get there is sexism in games, and due to your previous posts I’m more aware of the problem and I’m keeping a more watchful eye out for it. All this post makes me want to do, though, is laugh and start keeping a more watchful eye on John’s posts from now on.

  7. chase4926 says:

    Yeah they should’ve included a woman also getting “codnapped”, but just because they didn’t doesn’t mean that -insert title-.

  8. rickenbacker says:

    Godsdammit! Here I was, thinking that 2014 was the year the games industry would figure out that women are people. Well, Activision couldn’t have ruined that hope more soundly if they’d tried. Which, sadly, they didn’t.

  9. Snailgoop says:

    Honestly, thanks for the article. I am a female gamer and very much a fan of CoD: Ghosts. I’ve played many hours as well as bought my son the game and my boyfriend the game. I already had this DLC pre-purchased. When I watched this video, I can’t tell you how much my spirits sank. It’s so offensive. I no longer want to play CoD. I’m going to continue playing other games and won’t support this media trash with my money any longer.