If You Like Golf, A New Videogame About Golf Is Coming Out

It seems to me as though golf games have always looked the same across the various hardware generations, even though they clearly haven’t. And not just in the sense of always featuring a man wearing bad trousers and standing on a lawn – I mean that these are the games where my eyes have most scaled and adapted to what the technology of the day offers, in the same way that my brain somehow knew to make me more attracted to 30-somethings once I became a 30-something and presumably/hopefully will do the same as I continue to age, right up until my prophesied death in 2742.

For a long time, golf games have seemed to look really, really good, because they don’t need to spunk their graphics on high speed action and explosions and instead just need to focus on getting grass and trees right (and, to a lesser extent, trousers). From the PlayStation 1 and upwards, I’ve reliably gone “oh, that looks quite nice”, without ever particularly wanting to play the thing. The same is true of The Golf Club. It looks exactly the same to me as do the last decade’s worth of Tiger Woods games, even though it doesn’t.

I don’t know why I’m posting about a Golf Game. I think it’s because it looks wherever the Bad Trouser Men are is warm and bright, whereas right now I’m cold and miserable and would part with quite some number of vital organs if it meant I could be somewhere sunny.

Anyway, The Golf Club is a next jennifer game about whacking a little white thing with a big silver thing, due out on PC, Sex Bone and Pay Attention For this Spring. HB Studios have made about a gazillion sports games, sometimes sub-contracted by EA but increasingly under their own steam. This one’s very much their own baby. “The philosophy behind the game is to provide an accessible, high quality, social and customizable golf experience with minimal to zero loading times.” It looks like this:

Which you’ll agree looks exactly the same as this

and this

and this

and this

and this

I think you can see more detail on the soles of the shoes men in The Golf Club?

Also there’s a course designer, like this:

More information here.


  1. Jimbo says:

    What’s this about?

  2. Spacewalk says:

    Worst walking sim ever.

  3. Big Murray says:

    The important question is … will it have Oculus Rift support?

  4. Themadcow says:

    Not sure golf games ever got any better than the original PGA Tour Golf games on the Amiga. Check wind, choose club, aim, click once, click twice, click thrice. Anything more than that is just gloss.

    The annoying thing is that I still haven’t found a way to utilise the three click technique on an actual golf course :(

    • BooleanBob says:

      Modern golf courses aren’t backwards compatible. I assume this is to prevent low-speed buggy collisions caused by golfers playing in different directions.

    • Canadave says:

      I find there’s a lot of input lag on actual golf courses. My suspicion is that the HD graphics are just a bit too much and overload the processor, making them harder to control than most golf games.

  5. Gap Gen says:

    I don’t like golf, ergo a game about golf isn’t coming out.

  6. Lord_Santa says:

    granted I only ever play Leaderboard Golf on my C64, but if ever I need diversion, there’s always Ninja Golf for the Atari 7800

  7. Snids says:

    Lovely golf.

  8. communisthamster says:

    link to hockeyquestionmark.com

    Nothing quite like crypticsea’s Golf?

    • Henke says:

      Oh man, it’s too bad that thing never got released. I couldn’t get the multiplayer working in the beta, try as I might. : /

  9. brulleks says:

    Aw, you forgot about this.

    The sound when you’re winding up to take the shot is still my favourite audio effect in any game, ever. So out of place, so rasping, and yet, so goooood.

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      I knew I had a golf game on the Speccy but couldn’t remember which, I do now!

  10. FurryLippedSquid says:

    I fucking love golf games, me. And there has been a severe lack of them on PC for many a year. So with this and hopefully Perfect Golf some time soon, I’m a happy bunny.

    • jkz says:

      Yeah Tiger Woods was alright for a few years, but I don’t like the way the progression makes the game easier as you go on, it should get easier because you become more skilled at the game, not because you can now drive far enough to get a hole in one on a par 5.

  11. Serpico says:

    But will King sue them?

    • frightlever says:

      King aren’t suing Stoic, they issued a notification of objection to Stoic being granted a trademark on “Banner Saga”. It’s not the same thing.

      • Ich Will says:

        Indeed, it’s much worse than a simple claim for damages.

  12. sventoby says:

    You have entered: POWER DRIVE

  13. SteelPriest says:

    i long for a golf game with decent camera controls!

  14. jkz says:

    Do you get a golf slave?

    • SominiTheCommenter says:

      With a customizable face(except skin tone), so that you can make a Will Smith.

  15. Jason Moyer says:

    Wish EA would sell off Headgate Studios to someone so they could make a follow up to PGA Championship 2000, i.e. still the best golf game ever made.

  16. Surlywombat says:

    There is a rumor that another golf game is coming out, which for includes the ability to buy a house and drive to and from the golf course. It also lets you walk around on the golf course when you aren’t playing.

    Its called Golf Tour Activities I believe

  17. Risingson says:

    No love for the Links saga (sorry King games), the father of the golf games from the 90s? You know, they were FUN.

    • spacedyemeerkat says:

      Yes, they were fabulous. Loved the accoutrements, too, eg the club house. And online tournaments were great fun!

  18. The First Door says:

    Well, if it helps, I don’t think anyone could say that Vertiginous Golf looks the same as other golf games…

    link to youtu.be

    Well, I suppose it does have a golf sphere and some golf bats, but it also has a mechanical humming bird?

  19. cmsd2 says:

    i think i could enjoy this ironically.
    it does need an announcer pack though — if i didn’t get tired of the colour green, i’d soon get tired of the american voiceovers

  20. johnxfire says:

    I love golf, and am definitely looking forward to this one. It seems good enough, I just hope the KB controls would be workable.

    I still hate my school for blocking P2P ports, which apparently prevent Pangya from connecting to its servers… I need my golf fix, man.

  21. twaitsfan says:

    The headline made me hoot.

  22. Lone Gunman says:

    Super Mario Golf is the only golf game for me.

    As is Mario Tennis, Mario football, Mario baseball and so on for their respective sports.

    What? Mario makes everything more interesting.

  23. James Allen says:

    Procedurally generated courses in seconds? Sign me up.

  24. Syphus says:

    I like the divits. But I especially love the Course creator, I spent so many hours playing Sim Golf back in the day.

    Maybe one day we’ll have these quality games with the golf simulators, where you hit the ball and cameras track the flight and then you see it on the screen.

  25. Stinkfinger75 says:

    Please make it mechanically challenging. One of my biggest gripes about golf games is that it boils the most challenging game on the planet down to a series of well-timed button presses or moving a stick back and forth. I want to feel the frustration that a lack of concentration causes and I want to feel the joy of a perfectly hit ball, just like in golf. Digital representations of golf have done a poor job of this.

    • appropriate touching says:

      the most challenging game on the planet

      Eh, it’s no goose pulling, let alone wolf tossing.

      • SominiTheCommenter says:

        in 2008, the children’s goose pulling tournament in Lillo near Antwerp was won by a 14-year-old who won 390 euros and a trip to the Plopsaland theme park

        Goose pulling is a blood sport for the entire family, I see.

  26. Noseybonk says:

    And here’s me wishing for a SimGolf 2…

    • orcane says:

      I loved SimGolf despite of its shortcomings. A modern take on that (also with a resolution that’s not outdated before the game comes out) would be awesome…

  27. djadomi says:

    I love the way the players freeze up after the shot – exactly like I do when I make any sudden strenuous movement and pull a muscle in my lower back. I wonder if there’s a camera angle from the front where we can see their pained expression?