In A Nanny State: Goat Simulator Alpha

Firstly: this a tech demo that’s right now is basically just for fun, rather than marking an abrupt change of direction for Sanctum devs Coffee Stain Studios.

Secondly: awwwwww. Hope they wind up doing something with it anyway.


And also, more goatily, this:

Goats are dicks, man.

Basically it’s Just Cause with a goat. And there is nothing whatsoever unhappy about that sentence.

Things to know:

1) it’s made in Unreal Engine 3
2) “We’re just playing around a bit with programming stuff, this is not our next big IP, calm yourselves journalists”, but “it is a *real* game, we made it. It’s just that it’s not finished and we don’t have any particular plans with it.”
3) Follow this chap if you want regular updates about where this is going.

Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease make this, and release it. Otherwise I’ll eat your laundry.


  1. Drake Sigar says:

    That goat left nothing alive.

  2. shaydeeadi says:

    The Skype and Facebook sounds confused me.

    • LordDamien says:

      Same here, I was frantically switching windows and checking devices, trying to find what was the origin of it.

  3. MuscleHorse says:

    Seems a little gruff around the edges.

  4. rustybroomhandle says:

    Ya know, in a weird coincidence I was just looking for a song about goats today, and a happened upon a little number by the legendary Wesley Willis. Yuppers: link to

  5. aeonofdiscord says:


  6. Mud says:

    Learn to code

  7. Janichsan says:

    Why is this not yet on Kickstarter??

  8. Sami H says:


    • antelpe says:

      Add psychedelic visual effects and send it to Jeff Minter.

    • Gap Gen says:

      That car collision is basically the insurance fraud level. Also that neck. Man.

  9. someguyxx says:

    This looks great, and probably will be hilarious to play, but you have to wonder how much more mileage people can get out of the whole “Mundane Thingy Simulator 20XX” idea.

  10. Vinraith says:

    He’s the stair master. He has mastered the stairs.

  11. quietone says:

    Expect to hear from our lawyers:

  12. Shuck says:

    “this is not our next big IP”
    WHY NOT?! Man, some game devs have such a misplaced sense of priorities…

  13. Jorum says:

    My daughters would definitely play this.

    On a serious note, an open world game that lets you explore AND that’s not full of guns, axes and murder would be great for my 4yr old.

  14. alms says:

    OMG the first video is genius!

  15. OscarWilde1854 says:

    I see a silence of the lambs sequel…. Silence of the Goats… Waaaay scarier than the original… include some scenes of that goat climbing up the crane, Bucket headshot, getting hit by a Toyota NuclearPoweredPrius (Not sure how else the goat managed to get knocked 65km and nearly off the map), goats trashing a birthday party! It’s all gripping and absolutely horrifying!!

  16. Tom Walker says:

    Go home, Laura, you’re drunk.

  17. LordDamien says:

    Put lasers on that goat and you have a sale here!

  18. Chaz says:

    They should have used a donkey and called it Jack Ass.