How Have We Never Posted About Classroom Aquatic?

By Horace we should have posted about this before now. Classroom Aquatic is a game about cheating at tests. In a school for dolphins.

Apparently based on my dreams, except my dreams are never cool enough to have me be surrounded by dolphins, this is a game about being in a classroom faced with a test that you’ve not prepared for whatsoever. So you have to cheat. And the school is for dolphins and you’re not even a dolphin.

In each game, you’ll have ten questions to answer, but they’re all far too difficult for a not-dolphin. So you need to crib off other’s papers, and create distractions so you don’t get caught doing so. You can play an alpha of it right now, which you probably should – both for and not for Oculus.

But now developers Sunken Places want to develop it into a full game, ideally one with Oculus Rift in mind, and for that there’s a Kickstarter.

And here’s the trailer for the original idea:

A pledge of $15 secures of a copy of the game if they’re able to finish it, which they hope to do by December this year.



  1. tikey says:

    But I knew it was by Theo Van Doesburg!

    • Dinjoralo says:

      …Wait, would knowing the answers count as cheating, in a game about cheating?

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      At least it’s pre-elementarism, so it’s not too obvious.

  2. Turkey says:

    Looks like a mini game from Jazzpunk or something.

  3. Nicodemus Rexx says:

    They expressly encourage a pun thread and no one’s here yet? For shame! I guess I’ll have to dive in head first.

    • melnificent says:

      Well I didn’t want to start one on porpoise

      • ColCol says:

        If this kickstarter succeeds it will be because of a fluke.

        • 7vincent7black7 says:

          How do you dolphin this kind of humor funny? I don’t.

          • boundless08 says:

            Then just blow it out your hole!

          • Turkey says:

            Yeah, don’t stick your bottlenose where it doesn’t belong.

          • felisc says:

            mh, weird, it seems like there’s some ecco in this thread.

          • CookPassBabtridge says:

            I don’t want to hi-jacques this thread, but there’s a cupboard at the back of that classroom you cousteau any number of cheating tools in.

            Most. Tortured. Pun. Ever.
            Also, dolphins.


          • 7vincent7black7 says:

            I think it was apparent that I was kidding since my comment caused more spore-adic puns, but I wasn’t sure this was the right plaice. I will admit my above pun was a little ruffe, but that’s just because puns can be eel hard for people like me. :)

        • xp194 says:

          Sadly, I think it’s destined to sleep with the fishes.

    • Jigowatt says:

      If this game is successful, they should make a sequel called University Aquatic, where you have to plagiarise other dolphins’ work in your final dis-cetacean…

    • corinoco says:

      I might flip them a couple of dollars for this one!

  4. MrNash says:

    Forget throwing erasers to distract dolphins so I can cheat, give me the option to toss erasers in their blowholes. Make a game of killing as many dolphins as one can without getting caught, all in the innocent environment of a school exam. =p

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      phuzz says:

      You are a bad person and you should feel bad.

      (that does sound quite fun though)

  5. Hypnotron says:

    I thought fish lived in schools and dolphins lived in pods but apparently it’s ok to refer to a group of dolphins as a school as well.

  6. Anthile says:

    This raises so many questions. Am I dolphin?

  7. amateurviking says:

    I need this game like I need a hole in the head.

    • Rugged Malone says:

      I’m confused, do you mean like an additional hole in the head? Because you already have at least 7 of them that you (probably) would not want to give up any time soon.

    • Jackablade says:

      Eh, blow it out your hole.

  8. DrManhatten says:

    And like most other Occula Rift kickstarter projects it is going to fail spectacularly just like the Rift itself.

    • OscarWilde1854 says:

      ^^ This…an in-FIN-ite number of times….

    • J_asper says:

      Sorry to be that guy but i’m pretty sure it’s not Occula – Occulus would go to Occuli in the plural. <3

      • AngelTear says:

        I’m gonna be that guy, thank you very much.

        First of all, it’s “oculus”, not “occulus”.
        Second of all, it does go “oculi” and not “ocula” in the plural because in Latin “oculus” is a masculine noun and not a neutral noun.
        Third of all, in the sentence above the noun is “projects”, with “Kickstarter” and “Oculus Rift” being used as qualifiers of that noun, therefore they don’t become plural. Cf: “A 20-year-old person”, year remains singular.

        • Rikard Peterson says:

          Oculuses, or Oculus Rifts. (Or, indeed, Oculus Rift projects.) We’re not speaking Latin here. (English is easy that way – just slap an ‘s’ to the end.)

  9. TechnicalBen says:

    “Apparently based on my dreams, except my dreams are never cool enough to have me be surrounded by dolphins, this is a game about being in a classroom faced with a test that you’ve not prepared for whatsoever.”
    You’ve got simple dreams then. I envy that. You’ve never seen what I’ve seen… “Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.”

    • DrManhatten says:

      But all will be washed away like tears in the rain

      • gaiusimperator says:

        Right, hmmm. Don’t mind me I am just putting this computer and eye laser here to entertain myself…

        Now, what are your opinions on turtles? Notably turtles that you have turned onto their backs while in the desert?

        Also, what was your relation with your mother?

  10. kud13 says:

    so these test questions aren’t actually about dolphin biology. I’m pretty sure that flag i’ve glimpsed was Haiti.

    this means zombie Dolphins DLC confirmed

  11. Wedge says:

    File this as another one that got a lot of hype for a fun concept, but probably doesn’t warrant a full game based on the mechanics (also see, Superhot).

  12. Sardonic says:

    Not one of these Dolphins has a dolphin sword or khakis, Dontrel Dolphin 2 lied to me.

  13. Darth Gangrel says:

    Is this the year of the animal simulator? We’ve got a goat simulator previously and now dolphins.