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Zoom Zoom Splat: Trials Fusion Out In April

Finally, a game in which bikes ride men - not the other way around

Aw, Redlynx and Ubisoft, you really shouldn’t have. I know we’ve had our ups and downs (and loopty loops and explosions) in the past, but now you’re releasing Trials Fusion the day before my birthday? You really didn’t have to do that. One small quibble, though: you failed to include any mention of Nathan Grayson’s Rad Birthday or the accompanying Impossibly Sexy Karaoke Partython anywhere in your trailer. No, no, calm down. I’m not angry with you. Everyone makes mistakes.

OK, but seriously Trials Fusion looks pretty ding dang dern magnificent. This one’s all shiny and futuristic, and apparently it packs a level editor robust enough to spawn entire new genres. Now there’s a calmly purring creation engine with some legs. Er, wheels, I suppose. A bike with legs sounds like it would run exclusively on nightmare fuel and/or be a Metal Gear boss. Anyway:

“Coming with visual breakthroughs, the arrival of FMX tricks, and taking place in a high-tech and futuristic world, Trials Fusion goes even beyond what you knew about Trials and its crazy gameplay! Ride on and join the party from April 16th!”

So it’s Trials, but more over-the-top than ever and bolstered by the option to flail your biker around like some kind of boneless worm alien. Also, this one has arbitrarily been declared “next-gen,” so expect, I don’t know, realistically threaded biker socks or something.

April 16th. My birthday party. Who’s going to be there? Oh and also something something Trials I guess.

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Nathan Grayson

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