Be There, Be Square: BattleBlock Theater

BattleBlock TheatER is The Behemoth’s well-received follow-up to the side-scrolling beat ’em up Castle Crashers, which contained gaming’s most recognisable defecating deer. I don’t know if BattleBlock continues the proud tradition of cacking Cervidae but the trailer announcing the Steam version does have one sadly unexpurgated scene of extreme expurgation. Whether you’re keen to see a cartoon trouser-mess or not, you should watch the trailer because it’s a brilliant little skit about console-to-PC ports, and it contains more Oculus Rifts than any of those underground indie game conventions that you never seem to get invited to.

If I worked at Namco, I’d have been tempted to release a Dark Souls II trailer in a similar style, which is why I’m more likely to be clubbed to death by furious stand-up comedy patrons than to ever land a job in PR.

Now that you know what the Steam version of the game doesn’t contain, here’s what’s new:

-Weapon switching! Players can now switch between a primary and secondary weapon in game!
-New Cat Guard enemies throughout Story Mode.
-Steam Workshop integration for sharing user created levels.
-Steam Inventory integration for trading! This allows users to trade and sell weapons, prisoners, gems and yarn via Steam.
-X input, Direct Input, and Keyboard/Mouse support.

Like many things in life, BattleBlock is probably best experienced with a co-op partner but you can play alone if you insist. Just don’t tell the Pope, for Christ’s cazzo’s sake.

It’s a platform game with a level editor, a sense of humour and the ability to punch cats into pools of water. Closed beta signups are now open and the testing phase should run from March 24th to 31st.


  1. cafeoh says:


  2. Gnoupi says:

    This is a great game, and some of the most fun I’ve had playing a co-op platformer. Really good to see it coming to PC.

  3. Viroso says:

    Why doesn’t this have the “best trailer” tag?

  4. Ramshackle Thoughts says:

    Hear that? That’s the sound of every other marketing team closing up shop and heading out to live their failed lives.

  5. Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    I watched this at work, with the volume down to a murmur and Youtube’s automatic captioning. It turns out either Google’s transcription technology is a little unreliable, or the trailer is pure madness. I’m going to go with… Both.

  6. Tinus says:

    “Closed beta signups are now open”


  7. Chuckleluck says:

    If the game has even a smidgen of the humor the trailer did, I’m sure to pick it up. That video was fantastic.

  8. vlonk says:

    Making impossible or false promises in commercials (here: resolution, framerate, Oculus support) can be seen as unfair commercial practices. At least in Germany an offense of this sort can (and sometimes will) be taken to court from direct competitors who see themselves unfairly set back (because they stay within the legal borders of commercials).

    This commercial is clearly satirical and insanely funny!

    Still many marketing companies will stay clear of this approach because they do not want to bet
    a) on competitors not being trigger-happy with lawsuits over commercials
    b) their reputation on the judgement of a court if the commercial is reaaallllly ment to be satirical or could be understood as a real promise of 1000000000p resolution etc.

    • SominiTheCommenter says:

      You missed the small print. It’s actually quite big.

      • vlonk says:

        Did not miss the fineprint. It is likely not enough to defend the commercial because the splendid voice-over is shouting false promises in my face and does not mention that the claims are false. Also the fineprint is in direct contradiction to the promise. Normally the fineprint is used to explain further details of the claim that was made.

        Also I just realized they invented a prize they won. Clever that one…

        If I where the poor lawyer tasked with shooting this down I would probably need to tell the heartbreaking story of blind people hearing this commercial and buying this game for their beloved ones on faith of the false promises. Because they are unable to read the fineprint this makes a case. Also you could explain that the fineprint is miniscule compared to the overwhelming appraisal that is presented and is only there to present a fig leaf for the defense.

        I could name a dozen satirical commercials that got shot down in german courts. There are another 2 dozen cases where the marketing company won handily. It is just a risk/reward thing.

        • The Random One says:

          I don’t care how satirical it is, I fully expect integration with up to 5 Oculus Rift…es.

          • vlonk says:

            You see, it only takes one random person to make a case. So sorry for you but the Oculusseseses support is a SHAM a big fat SHAM. Now get over it and start laughing.

  9. Solidstate89 says:

    I absolutely love any video or trailer that Stamper narrates. I’m so glad the developers chose him for the game’s narration as well as the narration for their numerous trailers.

    I don’t think there’s video he’s done or that he’s done voice work that I haven’t found hysterical.

  10. Viceroy Choy says:

    Finally! BBT was amazing and the interlude scenes are exceptionally awesome.

  11. GardenOfSun says:

    Quite interesting and momentous to see the C word here on steam. Thank, Pope.
    The trailer is quite artistic too, even though I’m now unsure as to whethere the thing will have online coop or not.

    (And aye, I am a sadly self-confessed Italian. That’s why it was so estranging to see Adam’s boutade – in a positive way of course)

  12. CookPassBabtridge says:

    Seriously? The word P 0 0 P is banned by the RPS word filter? OK FINE. I will use less rude words.
    I watched this video just for the SHIT NUGGET FILLED CACK TROUSERS

  13. alms says:

    Can we please avoid mixing that shrewd old guy in Rome with perfectly good on their own trailers?

    Thanks. I liked the trailer BTW. That’s a good one. Really. Unlike the old man.