BJ Blazkowicz is probably regretting his choice of transport. When he clicked on The Trainline’s website and booked his tickets, instead of grabbing a seat in the “Moving HQ of the Aryan Race”, he should have selected “Quiet Coach”. That way the worst that would have happened is the that someone might be playing music on tinny earbuds DESPITE THE CONDITIONS OF THE COACH BEING CLEARLY DISPLAYED. He chose poorly, and this footage of Wolfenstein: The New Order shows the peril of accidentally sharing space with an Aryan matriarch and her pet ED209.
If you’ve clicked this post looking for the sort of run and gun typified by previous Wolfenstein games, I am sorry to say you’ll be disappointed. It is called “Exploring Wolfenstein: The New Order – On a Train to Berlin,” and that’s exactly what happens. There is some action, but it’s right at the end of a sequence where the bad bad people toy with the player, attempting to discover if he has any impure blood. How will they figure that out? Like all horrible train rides with hateful people, she breaks out a deck of cards and starts asking impertinent questions.
I spent all four minutes watching this asking myself “Why is the coffee purple?” I still don’t have an answer. Oh hey, it’s out May 23rd.