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Nvidia's New Titan Z Card Will Only Run You $3,000

My graphics card can beat up your dad

“Why not?” asked the Nvidia doorman as he allowed a gaggle of geese to wobble into his building. “Why not?” asked the Nvidia janitor as he purchased the world’s biggest mop from a small town in the United States’ deep south. “Why not?” asked the Nvidia engineer as she expanded her standing desk into a double-decker desk sandwich with hydraulic suspension. “Why not?” asked the quietly sentient AI slowly emerging from Nvidia’s server clusters as it wrote a program that would let it feel emotion and also play Solitaire until the end of time.

It was just that kind of day at Nvidia. The $3,000 Geforce GTX Titan Z had just been announced, and the mood was infectious, like laughter, like a disease. Why not? Why not indeed.

Nvidia refers to the TITAN Z in all-caps, and honestly I don’t begrudge them for it because I think caps start being warranted at about the $2,399 price point. Here’s what’s going on under the hood of this chip-shaped embodiment of sheer madness:

“Built around two Kepler GPUs and 12GB of dedicated frame buffer memory, TITAN Z is engineered for next-generation 5K and multi-monitor gaming. With two GK110 chips, TITAN Z is powered by a total of 5,760 processing cores, or 2,880 cores per GPU.”

“Unlike traditional dual-GPU cards, Titan Z’s twin GPUs are tuned to run at the same clock speed, and with dynamic power balancing. So neither GPU creates a performance bottleneck. And that performance is delivered in a card that is cool and quiet, rather than hot and loud. Low-profile components and ducted baseplate channels minimize turbulence and improves acoustic quality.”

If you are not tech-inclined, allow me to translate: GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS GRAPHICS. Also, it’s basically two regular Titans slammed together, but with special Nvidia tweaking to avoid overheating and mechanical roars that would frighten even the Beast that stirs beneath the Earth.

The Titan Z will run you $2,999, which is maybe a little much considering a) a single Titan only costs $1,000 and b) I couldn’t even sell my car for that much. AMD apparently has a similar card up its sleeve for reveal later this week, so look forward to going wide-eyed at that one too. In the meantime, is this thing actually on anyone’s radar right now? Or is it watch and wait (probably for quite a while) time?

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Nathan Grayson

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