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Valiant Hearts Will Try To Make You Cry In June

Shut up no I won't cry about this dog and you can't make me stop it no I won't look into its eyes why are you doing this to me?

A word of warning: Ubisoft are trying to make you cry. On purpose. They’re making Valiant Hearts: The Great War and intend for it to make you blub. Are you going to take that from them? Are you going to sit here and just let a video game company seize control of your tear ducts, of your brain? Don’t let them! Don’t give them that power!

Get angry! Get furious! Stomp around the room right now, sweeping small items off surfaces and bellowing resistant slogans like “This isn’t on!” and “My tears are my own!” Then come back and watch the new trailer Ubisoft has released to announce Valiant Hearts’ June 25 release date.

Valiant Hearts, see, is a character-driven adventure game set during World War I, with a rag-tag group (and their dog) discovering the meaning of love, friendship, and sacrifice during one of the worst times of look no it’s cool sometimes I just press my fingers into the corners of my eyes when I’m writing no big deal. Anyway, the trailers tell us right from the start (or hint awfully heavily) that most of them won’t survive the war. And the trailers have that music, you know, that music, that sort of sad piano that makes you punch yourself square in the thigh because that’s the reason you’re tearing up and not anything else why are you looking at me stop looking at me.

Our Nathan saw it during E3 last year chatted with producer Yoan Fanise of its makers yet didn’t think to grab him by the neck and make him cry just to show him what it’s like.

If the dog dies and it makes you cry, I am so done with you.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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