Watch Dogs 101 Trailer Is Full Of All The Things

Watch Dogs scratches YOU behind the ear. With bad dialogue.

It doesn’t matter how many ASCII indie games I play, sometimes I have an itch only shite cutscenes can scratch. Sometimes I want to be told what to do. Sometimes I want to be told what to do by expensively animated, grumbly-voiced cartoons. Sometimes I just want to be able to lean back in my chair and let the game get on with it.

Thankfully: Ubisoft*. They’re releasing Watch Dogs on May 27th. I want to walk around its Chicago, hack its traffic lights, leap across its rooftops, burrow into my friends’ games and follow them around without them knowing. But I also want it to lead me by the nose, pointing me in the right direction with the pomp of big-budget cinematics. It’s comforting.

In other words, there is a place in my life for teenage fantasies writ large, and this nine-minute breakdown of every Watch Dogs feature is full of them.

How easy it would be to snipe and pick this apart, but no. I choose to focus on how beautiful the city looks, on how cool the ambient multiplayer stuff might be, and on how silly the spider-mech “Digital Trip” stuff looks.

Also, I think it has a chess mini-game? If nothing else, Ubisoft are very good at filling their games with ridiculous amounts of stuff, regardless of quality. You think Watch Dogs is a game about a hacker in a baseball cap overthrowing an oppressive city? Here is a sentence from the video’s narration: “Rampaging through a hellish version of Chicago in Madness, fuel your ride with the souls of the damned to outrun the firey-eyed demons hot on your tail.”

OK. OK, yes, I’ll do that.

*Also thankfully: EA, Activision, Capcom… Oh, all of them.

PS. While research this post I found this image. Oh my and this one.


  1. RvLeshrac says:

    link to

    That is all.

    • Didero says:

      Any game that needs an ‘Editions’ table already has a problem…

      • Syra says:

        You could express almost every big blockbuster these days this way though surely?

        They all have at the very least:
        1)Physical copy
        2)Physical special edition with extra game content
        3)Physical Collectors edition with game content and toys
        3) Standard digital copy
        4) Digital copy with preorder bonuses 5) Digital deluxe copy with extra game content
        6) Associated DLC and season passes.

        ^ It’s simple market segmentation, on brand, price, promotion, lifestyle etc it’s not really indecipherable.

    • Trithne says:

      As far as I can tell from that, there is no digital download version that doesn’t come with some extra content.

    • BobbyDylan says:

      Thank you for that. I was almost tempted but this has restored my resolve.

      • Henke says:

        Judging from the video, and also recent Ubi titles like AC3/4 and FC3, there’s going to be more than enough content in the game already to justify the asking price. I wouldn’t sweat it if you miss out on some bonus missions.

        • popej says:

          Whilst there is sense/logic in what you say that isn’t really the point.

      • Slazia says:

        uPlay will stop a decent number of PC gamers, too. It’s worse than the GFWL tag.

        • benkc says:

          Yup. Experienced Ubi’s DRM before, not buying this unless sometime way down the road they make a DRM-free version.

    • Crossbit says:

      They do have a tendency to become more and more ridiculous with each release.

      I must say, I find it particularly amusing that the Dedsec edition doesn’t contain the Dedsec pack. I suppose that would have been too logical.

    • Darth Gangrel says:

      Like Graham, I’m gonna let this table tell me what to do and since there are more “No” than “Yes” boxes, I’m gonna say no to this. See you in a few years when all the DLC plus main game is 75 % off, when I’ve decreased my backlog enough to justify buying this and when my distaste for Uplay has shrunk.

    • haugy says:

      Well, first of all the the last ten rows are real objects that do not (or just minimally) influence the game itself.
      The rest of the additional content will be mostly optical items or equipment (which in my opinion make a game too easy anyway, so i gladly pass on them) and some missions that will give us what, maybe 5 hours of additional gameplay?
      Personally, i think the game is still going to be great and will have hours of gameplay and tons of stuff to do, so, yeah, I’m gonna get it.

      Collectors editions are nearly as old as games themselves and up to this day I have never bought a single one and still had fun with most of the games i bought, even those that offered DLC).

      But that’s just my opinion, everyone who chooses to pass on a game just because it has DLC might miss something, but it’s their opinion and choice and that’s ok.

      • Cinek says:

        “that will give us what, maybe 5 hours of additional gameplay?” – I think you are being generous at this point. But otherwise – agreed.

        • haugy says:

          You’re right, I just didn’t want to underestimate it.
          After taking a closer look at all the DLC it’ll probably about 2 hours.

    • fish99 says:

      Holy Balls! :o

  2. Fox89 says:

    Nice. I’ll pick up the standard edition without any of the pre-order bonus content nonsense. A bit disappointed that the only way they could describe the only female character they showed is “as dangerous as she is seductive”. Come on Ubi, you can do better than that.

    Game looks fun though. Let’s face it, it’s not going to be the crazy revolution we thought it might be on that first reveal, but I’m hopeful it could be the best GTA since GTA. That’ll be plenty good enough.

    • Eleven says:

      I’m going to buy it, two years from now, when it becomes the ultra platinum director’s cut game-of-the-year version. And only that when its half price in a sale.

      I have been really looking forward to this game, but patience is a virtue when dealing with short-minded salespeople.

    • Knightley4 says:

      “Come on Ubi, you can do better than that.” Can they? From the last titles of all important female characters i can only remember Citra from Far Cry 3, and she was, well, dangerous and seductive.

      • Turkey says:

        It would’ve been funny if Aiden was spending the game trying to get with her, but she rejects him at every turn. Probably would have resulted in a lot of image captions with the word “bitch” in it, though.

        • Knightley4 says:

          Judging by the dialogue from this trailer We might get something like this. But will Aiden gonna be too persistent? He’s a brooding widower-avenger after all.

      • The Random One says:

        @Knightley: If you only count their big $60 AAAAA titles, sure. But if you count their smaller stuff, you have female characters stepping out of the basic Girl template, to varying degrees, in AC Liberation, Child of Light and Rayman Fruit.

      • P.Funk says:

        Wouldn’t it be great if we could just get one female who’s banal and listless? How about witty and plain looking? Moody but circumspect?

        Oh, just tits and coy dialogue and maybe a few tats? Got it.

      • SillyWizard says:

        Too bad they’re missing out on the opportunity to give us an awkward but uplifting love-story between a couple of clever but otherwise unappealing and smelly nerds.

        Nerds are so much more fun than hot people with sick tats. It’s unfortunate that The Big Bang Theory is like blackface for nerddom.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      None of the preorder, prepurchase, deluxe edition, etc. bonus material in any game was ever any good. But I’m still going to buy Watch Dogs ahead of time because it’ll save me 10e. Which is a preorder bonus of sorts, I suppose. And is actually worth something. 10e, to be precise.

    • sophof says:

      The game looks like it was designed by the PR department, so no, they can’t do better than that. That wasn’t a lazy shorthand, but on purpose. Or to put it in other terms, I would’ve been extremely excited about this game as a teenager.

  3. tumbleworld says:

    Come on, Ubi. We get it. You’ve remade GTA4 and excitably used the word “Hack” a lot. How many damned times do you have to tell us?

  4. Cinek says:

    Funny how last time we had this discussion – majority of people complained it’s an Assassins Creed clone. Now they complain that it’s a GTA clone. Makes me wonder which game comes next? The new Thief clone?

    • Emeraude says:

      Come on you flatterer, I’m not the majority of people.


    • BobbyDylan says:

      So many games these days can be broken down into the following categories:

      Like Call of Duty but..
      Like GTA but…
      Like Starcraft but….
      Like God of war but…

    • Turkey says:

      The reason people are saying GTA clone is because ever since they came back after the delay they’ve been deliberately aping GTA 5’s marketing campaign in order to try and capture the same kind of audience.

      • Cinek says:

        “deliberately aping GTA 5′s marketing campaign” – examples?

        • Turkey says:

          I’m not saying that they’re the same game, I’m just saying that I believe they’re trying to market it in the same way.

          The last few trailers have been structured pretty much exactly like the GTA V informative trailer that Rockstar rolled out right before release. I don’t know if it will have any effect sales wise or anything, but it looks pretty deliberate to me.

          • Cinek says:

            So you’re saying that the same structure of a trailer means that the game is trying to capture the same kind of audience?

            To a degree they certainly are – so does every other sandbox game that includes car and guns – but I doubt there’s some conspiracy in there where companies copy trailer styles to lure people from one title to another.

  5. Alfy says:

    Not impressed thus far. I’m really hoping Ubi will pull this off, gods knows we could do with a real top-notch AAA game this year. But everything I’ve seen recently does not manage to make me feel the way the first trailer did.

  6. Jason Moyer says:

    I’m looking forward to seeing how they manage to make every action in the game controllable via one button, Assassin’s Creed style, because there’s little doubt they’ve attempted to do that.

  7. KenTWOu says:

    Everybody who thinks this is another GTA clone or modern day Assassin’s Creed or whatever… at least watch this interview, please! It’s Far Cry 2 dev team! But this time they make highly simulated city environment. It’s more Michael Mann than Michael Bay.

    • FleeingNevada says:

      What on earth about Far Cry 2 would make anyone have faith in this game? If anything, it makes me even more worried. That broken mess of a game did almost nothing right, especially when it came to a functioning, coherent story.

      • KenTWOu says:

        Far Cry 2 was highly systemic game with strong focus on emergent gameplay. It was somewhat broken because it wasn’t delayed, therefore, wasn’t finished and polished enough. Just read FC2 post mortem in freely available Game Developer Magazine on GDC site or check tons of interviews with devs about that. Meanwhile Watch Dogs was delayed to polish its systemic/emergent gameplay.

  8. Premium User Badge

    FhnuZoag says:

    The design looks really really unfocused.

  9. DThor says:

    It is obvious to anyone with a brain that this trailer tells us this game is awesome, and I will broach no dissention on this front. Plus obviously all existing media thinks it “looks amazing”, so there is no chance this can be anything other than 98% on meta. See? That’s not so hard! Now where’s my cud? Moo.

  10. derbefrier says:

    I may get it depends on reviews. Looks interesting enough but these open world gta style games have a way of getting boring quickly for me. The multplayer has me more interested in this game than anything else

  11. Maxheadroom says:

    I dont know why but Watchdogs is pretty much passing under my radar. I’ve seen a trailer or 2 but not looked at any previews and im not finding my interest piqued at all.

    So is it just GTA with different coloured pants then?

    • tumbleworld says:

      Pretty much, it seems. The original concept they teased looked really fresh and interesting, but after their hiatus, everything has seemed to be “Woo, sandbox, cars, gun battles, gritty NPCs, activities, woo — oh yeah, and you can get a random status box on Peds and use some Cut-Scene Powers because you’re a HACKER.”

      • KenTWOu says:

        The original concept they teased is still in the game.

      • MobileAssaultDuck says:

        I must not have my finger on the pulse of gaming when people are using sentences like “It’s just GTA + Assassin’s Creed with hacking.” in a negative fashion.

        GTA + Assassin’s Creed with hacking sounds fantastic to me.

        And the MP features sound fucking incredible. Sitting at work on my iPhone fucking with my friend as he plays the game? Fuck yes.

  12. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    The trailer piqued my interest at the 7:12 mark, when it went full on Saints Row IV.

    • MkMax says:

      “use your hacking skills to bend time and space to turn this game into saints row 4”

      “use your hacking skills to summon nachos out of thin air”

      “use your hacking skills to mutate and become godzilla”

      pff, magic is overrated

  13. djbriandamage says:

    “Trip out as you outlast waves of police…” no force on earth has the power to dull down excitement like marketing.

    Also, RPS, this article’s title. Come on. Talk like grownups please.

    • LennyLeonardo says:

      There’s nothing more exciting than talking like a grown up.

  14. jonahcutter says:

    The hype is real(ly here).

    That’s some kitchen sink school of game design there. And here I was thinking it would be a focused game that cut away the AssCreed bloat.

    Sure, I can always ignore those side activities. But then I wonder how much core game is actually left. How focused is the central story of hackers, vigilantes, and corporations? I want to live a 90’s hacker fantasy. I have zero interest in spider tank spectacle and yet another zombie mode. As it is, I still need to play through Saints Row 4. And I doubt this game can out-do that game in the ridiculousness department.

    I’ve been intending to buy. This trailer has put me off a bit.

  15. kud13 says:

    Despite its best efforts to the contrary, I am still mildly interested in this game.

    The potential deal breaker question is this-can I turn off my wi-fi whilst playing without Ubisoft demanding I play with people?

    • MkMax says:

      check the table in the first post of this article, if that doesnt kill your interest i dont know what will

      • kud13 says:

        That’s just the usual AAA exclusives BS. In 6 months the whole thing will be available as a super-complete edition on Steam. for 60% off/

        Offline mode, otoh, is important.

    • Cinek says:

      Yes, you can turn off your wifi. Watchdogs is kinda like Thief – that one you can play fully offline too.

      • Sian says:

        Now that’s the comment I was looking for. The suggestion that this might be online only had me worried.

  16. Wut The Melon says:

    The next game from Ubisoft I’m going to buy is 1666: Amsterdam.

    Oh, what’s that, Ubisoft? Yes, I am still pissed about that.

  17. SillyWizard says:

    The old mob boss guy should really be Polish. And tubby.

    • Cinek says:

      German, with toothbrush-style moustache.

      • SillyWizard says:


        The Polish community in Chicago is larger, more ubiquitous, and more…let’s say Chicago-flavored than the Irish community.

  18. Scumbag says:

    One trailer? I know there were a couple before, but under 10 trailers a week? Its almost as if Ubi does not want this to sell.

  19. Myrdinn says:

    Wow, seems like they really went out of their way to present believable and non-stereotype characters. Is this Dragon Age in the future?

  20. lylebot says:

    Usually you don’t even need to watch the cutscene (sorry, “cinematic”). Gravelly-voice cartoon says “blah blah blah”, scene ends, follow the green/orange/red dot on the map and read the directions on screen. I go through Assassin’s Creed games watching all the cutscenes and still not totally understanding the plot; if I don’t need to bother paying close attention, I probably won’t.

    Sometimes I wish they really would make you watch the scenes and pay attention. Last night I was playing an AC Liberation mission. Gravelly-voice cartoon said “some dude is fucking up our shit, find him by the fort and murderize him”. Then of course there was a green dot on my mini-map telling me where to go. I found myself wishing the game trusted me to pay attention, either remembering where the fort was or being able to find it myself. Just make the mission open-ended, so I can continue it whenever I find myself near that fort. Like an RPG quest.

    • Cinek says:

      “if I don’t need to bother paying close attention, I probably won’t.” – oh, you are one of these players…

      • SillyWizard says:

        One of what players?

        Do you focus your full attention on insipid nonsense?

        • MobileAssaultDuck says:

          Do you honestly have to make an effort to focus your attention?

          I just sort of absorb stuff.

    • Darth Grabass says:

      Turn off your mini-map. In fact, turn off all the HUD. The AC games are much more fun and far more immersive when you get rid of all the redundant clutter on your screen. I see people’s screenshots, and I can’t fathom why they leave half of that crap on. There are environmental cues for every single thing on that HUD. It’s useless.

  21. AngusPrune says:

    Nothing I’ve seen so far about Watch_Dogs convinces me this isn’t the exact same Ubisoft game served up for the nth time. Hacking just seems to be a combination of Far Cry 3’s throw rocks and mark enemies function, except you get to throw rocks a bit farther.

    These games are just dull. They put so much work in to making the game look awesome that they forget there really ought to be more than 20 minutes of interesting gameplay.

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      Breaking news: A massive explosion has been spotted in the vicinity of Hyperbole Factory, tune up in the next minutes for an extended coverage.

  22. Hebrind says:

    I’ll be perfectly honest – I got this free with my GTX 780 earlier this week. For what is, for me, a free game, I think it looks pretty decent. Depending on reviews and reception, I’d probably not balk completely on spending £30 on it from somewhere that deals in slightly-cheaper-than-Steam-or-Uplay games. I mean, I don’t care how “like GTA” or “Like Assassin’s Creed” you say it is, a lot of love, care and attention has clearly gone into this game. And cut it some slack, it’s the first properly next-gen AAA title for all platforms, isn’t it? It’s already got a lot of pressure stacked on it.

    As far as AAA releases this year go, I’m looking forward to this, the possible release of GTA 5, and The Division. Two of these are Ubidoob games, is that necessarily a bad thing? I don’t think so. Give them a chance to grow. As awesome as Steam is, it wasn’t built in a day! If Steam was half as polished as Uplay is now when it was at the same stage of development, games curation and sale would be very different, I reckon.

    • tashur says:

      Valve didn’t have a history of draconian DRM with things like always-on phone-home requirements or limited activations when they launched Steam. Ubisoft does. Obviously, everyone wants to replace Steam, because no one wants to pay Valve a cut for their distribution platform. Unfortunately, most of the companies trying to do so (notably, EA and Ubisoft) have an incredibly poor history when it comes to their treatment of their customers.