Squirt ‘Em Up: Firefighters 2014 Now Steaming

Spppppshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Being a video game firefighter sounds very exciting in theory. You’d have lots of exciting gadgets to play with, lots of bright and colourful flames making soothing crackling noises, lovely thick smoke to wander through, and a big hose to spray water everywhere. That sounds great!

Sadly more sim-y than the colourful wonderland I’m imagining, Firefighters 2014 was released this week. It’s made by a German studio so you know it takes this simming seriously, while if I’m honest I’d probably be happy spraying a garden hose around some shrubs while listening to The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. That may be my plan for this weekend, actually.

Firefighters 2014 covers the full spectrum of German firefighter duties from forest to city. As well as putting out the fires one would expect, they also get to cut people out of wrecked cars, pump out flooded basements, and–I do so very much hope–rescue cats from trees. It’s all an excuse to play with cool gadgets and drive fancy vehicles bristling with water cannons and ladders really, isn’t it.

Steam player reviews make it sound pretty buggy and a bit wonky, though I’ve always assumed that was a given with sims. As they try to cram in so many exciting things they don’t have the time or budget to do many of them well, was my understanding. Would-be players hardly have the pick of a dozen different woodcutting simulators each year, so they need to either swallow their lumberjack dreams or gulp down the distasteful game soup and this mixed metaphor works so poorly I’ll quickly end it and we’ll all pretend this didn’t happen.

If you do want to give it a go, Firefighters 2014 is on Steam. A launch discount brings it to £12.74.

25 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    Lexx87 says:

    Squirt ‘Em Up

  2. rustybroomhandle says:

    Moses supposes his hoses can flowses as long as you stay off his toeses.

  3. Spacewalk says:

    Does it also cover firemen starting fires too?

    • dE says:

      Look at the first screenshot on the steam store page. That smug grin says everything.

    • int says:

      There’s one guy, but only on Mondays.

    • Turkey says:

      No, but every time you spot an onlooker wearing shades and a hoodie, the game throws you into a quicktime chase sequence. It’s really weird.

    • Vendae says:

      Firefighters 2014: Enemy Unknown and its well-received DLC, FF 2014: Enemy Within.

  4. Philopoemen says:

    Does it also simulate the typical firefighter’s day of sleeping/watching TV/playing games during their shift, and getting to every scene after the police and ambulance crews? And then have all the women going weak at the knees because they read a Mills and Boon novel with a firey in it?

    Typical glorification of the hose monkeys ;-)

    • Premium User Badge

      Harlander says:

      Now there’s an idea.

      A simulation of the stuff the firemen do between calls. Can you master doing the round-the-world with your yoyo before the next fire starts?

    • GenBanks says:

      I hope the game is at least partly inspired by this Zoochosis video:

      link to youtu.be

  5. BobbleHat says:

    Does it have multiplayer? Looks like it could be lots of daft fun in a Moonbase Alpha kind of way.

    • darkkai3 says:

      According the Steam page, no multiplayer.

      While it looks both terrible and awesome at the same time, I would have happily bought it to play with a few others :(

  6. damaki says:

    It really looks like the development studio is just one of those cheap german simulators creators. That’s probably quite far from the playability and nicely built gameplay of a Eurotruck Simulator 2.
    You’d be better of playing Flash Point Fire Rescue, a nice cooperative board game.

  7. Moraven says:

    We really need a new Burning Rangers, the best fire fighter game. Great game. Over $100 for a used copy tho. =/ Sega needs to do HD updates for their Saturn greats.

    Wiki:
    The game is set in a futuristic society in which fire is one of the few major hazards remaining. The Burning Rangers are an elite group of firefighters who have been formed to help cope with such emergencies. The game sees players take control of one of two new recruits, Shou Amabane and Tillis, as they fight through burning buildings and rescue civilians.

  8. Darth Gangrel says:

    “Would-be players hardly have the pick of a dozen different woodcutting simulators each year” Don’t you mean wood-be players (sorry, but I just couldn’t help myself).

  9. CookPassBabtridge says:

    Like the look of the fire truck driving parts. Looks quite euro truck simulator 2