A Real Tree-t: How To Be A Tree Looks Amazing

I hate being presumptuous, but I never really thought there was much to being a tree. Stand in one spot for (possibly) hundreds of years, absorb nutritious, delicious sun and water, play host to all sorts of scurrying furballs – it seemed like a pretty cushy gig.

How To Be A Tree, however, suggests that I was devastatingly incorrect. Sometimes trees get shot at by tanks while terrorizing hapless cities. Other times lasers attempt to impede their progress. It’s rough, man. No wonder trees have such thick skin. It’s the only way to endure ceaseless scorn from a world that just doesn’t understand. There’s a trailer of this wonderful oddity (that Graham took a look at a couple months ago) planted beneath the break’s loamy soils.

It pretty much immediately reminded me of Incredipede’s charmingly awkward movement, which is definitely not a bad thing. The various scenarios look increasingly bizarre and silly, featuring everything from platforming puzzles to giant tree-devouring mouths. Why do we play games if not for those specific things?

It should also be noted that creator James Andrews also helped make the equally delightful Realistic Kissing Simulator, so that’s promising.

How To Be A Tree doesn’t have a release date just yet, but it seems to be coming along nicely. While we wait, a question: what, in your mind, makes an ideal tree? What is the greatest, most powerful tree?


  1. Viroso says:

    This also reminded me of Gish and Nightsky which to me felt similar to moving a couch through a narrow door. You’re always almost there but never there, trying to fit it through in every way but just as you’re about to push it something gets stuck.

    It looks much cooler though.

  2. MykulJaxin says:

    What tree is the most powerful? Well, I just finished re-watching Lord of the Rings, and there’s a walking talking boulder-throwing tree named Treebeard. He’s voiced by the same guy who plays Gimli, a powerful dwarf warrior. So probably Treebeard? My arboreal lore isn’t what it could be.

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      phuzz says:

      Treebeard is an Ent, just so you know.

      The sycamore trees outside are doing a great (slowmotion) job of tearing up the pavements, so I’m going to nominate them.

    • SillyWizard says:

      Probably the Ctheah.

      Before you look it up — major spoilers in case you haven’t read the Wise Man’s Fear — which would be ridiculous.

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        Phasma Felis says:

        Is the Ctheah the tree? I thought it was a thing that lived in the tree.

        Excellent reference, regardless.

    • Kefren says:

      The larch.

  3. vlonk says:

    Of course the biggest ist the bestest tree.
    link to dailymail.co.uk

    • vlonk says:

      Waaiiit a second, I found this crazy Tree party that shares the same root system and DNA. They have been spreading/cloning for around 80.000 years. link to en.wikipedia.org That is even bigger, must be even better.

  4. jakeandfinn says:

    this is the best “how to be a tree” game
    link to videogamesoftheoppressed.wordpress.com

  5. CookPassBabtridge says:

    I appreciate it was only me that found this hysterically funny at the time, so I am reprising a comment thread that literally only me and maybe Ich Will will remember … but:

    Ich Will. Your avatar is a tree. Why aren’t you writing about the tree?

  6. Muzman says:

    Looks cute. However I can’t think of any reason this game should have awful 4-bit shooter sound effects.
    They managed to even avoid the tiresome trope of chiptunes, yet the temptation for pointless nostalgia abides.

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      Phasma Felis says:

      You’d be surprised how hard it is to find a “merrily leaping tree” sound effect in the major free SFX libraries.

      • Muzman says:

        Heh. Well someone clearly thought it sounded like a space invader exploding, which is a novel answer to the classic koan I must admit.
        I tend to put programming a game far above finding sound effects though. The latter would seem like the little holiday at the end to me, comparatively speaking.

  7. HiFiHair says:

    As a tree myself I can strongly identify with this.

  8. Ahtaps says:

    Being Yggdrassil would certainly be an important job, though I imagine having Nidhoggr nibbling at your nether regions all the time would probably be unpleasant.