Survival Of The Fittest: Bearzerkers On Kickstarter

Grrr. That's the noise a panda makes, probably.

There’s an old joke about two prospectors, sometimes campers, or laywers, businessmen, doctors, anyway you can say whichever profession you dislike, but they’re in the woods and one of them starts putting their sneakers on so the punchline is, “I don’t need to outrun the bear, I only need to outrun you.” Oh yes, there’s a bear too, or sometimes a tiger. Great joke.

That’s the idea of Bearzerkers, a multiplayer game now on Kickstarter: outrun your chums so the bear eats them.

Bearzerkers traps players in pretty little arenas with one or more bloodthirsty pandas (not actually bears etc.), which go for whoever’s closest. Your little critter can scamper and roll away, but ultimately you’re trying to outrun your pals, not the bear. A handy dig move lets you burrow to drop walls like light cycles from Tron, which pandas can trample over but players are trapped by.

The arena’s also seeded with a few powerups, helping you or hindering the panda. Until today I’ve always described myself as “someone who doesn’t want to cover wildlife in oil” (no wonder I’ve ended up in video games, with a line that at the top of my CV) but watching an oil-drenched panda made me briefly paws (pause) to reconsider. Top jokes today, gang.

You can download an early build (I’ve had trouble with other mirrors, so do go for this IndieDB one) to give it a go. You’ll need a friend or three to play as the demo only supports local multiplayer. You can also have a crack at Pandamonium, the 48-hour game jam game Bearzerkers is based on, if you’re really curious.

Developers Wildgrass Games are looking for $8,000 Australian (£4,400), hoping to finish Bearzerkers by November. Chipping in at least $10 will get you a copy of the finished game.

Here’s the pitch video. Don’t worry, I didn’t hear voices like this at all while playing.


  1. NailBombed says:

    My love for you is like a truck, BEARZERKERS?

  2. InternetBatman says:

    It’s good to see some local coop games on the pc. I just need to figure out how to control them. Neither my wife nor I like dual analogs. We’ll probably go for a razer hydra or somesuch.

  3. SillyWizard says:

    Pandas aren’t bears?

    Also, this voice actor (or people doing this particular voice) needs to be stopped.

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      Aerothorn says:

      I’m actually not sure where Alice is coming from on this one – I’m no biologist, but the Giant Panda is most definitely of the family Ursidae (bears).

      Maybe she was thinking of red pandas?

    • Alice O'Connor says:

      Dear chums,
      Your old pal Alice was indeed thinking of red pandas, somehow despite having played the game minutes before and seeing it was quite clearly a giant panda. Also she was raised on wildlife books pre-dating genetic testing.

      We apologise profusely for the error.

      Respectfully yours,

  4. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    “I don’t need to outrun the bear, I only need to outrun you.”

    Reminds me of the old sprinting sub-game from the splendidly-named Caveman Ugh-Lympics on the C64.

    • The First Door says:

      Wow, I used to play that tons, but had utterly forgotten about it until now. I think I played a DOS version though. I adored the level where you had to pole vault over a t-rex!

  5. Koozer says:

    I didn’t know Dame Edna was doing game development now.

  6. The First Door says:

    Oh my… that Kickstarter video really put me off, and I’m usually all about games with pandas in! I’ll have to try the demo to ensure that voice never, ever happens before I’m interested again.

    On the plus side, they claim it’ll have a groler/pizzly bear, which is pretty ace!