A mysterious countdown? Some teams? A fortress? I’m not sure if there’s a soul in the world who doesn’t know what this means by now: new Team Fortress 2 update. The latest multi-day reveal-stravaganza is called Love and War, and it’s kicked off its grim march not with new weapons or maps or colors other than red and blue, but rather, um, dancing. Also other expressions that will allow you to wordlessly communicate with and/or taunt your fellow players. There’s a new short film below, and it’s Valve’s longest ever, clocking in at a whopping 15 minutes. The topic? Inevitable, creeping death. Cheery!
Here’s one of Valve’s ever-colorful introductions:
“When it comes to the full spectrum of expressing affection for your fellow humans, let’sface it, it’s a pretty thin gruel. We took to the streets and asked a wide sample of strangers to show us affection as a test, and by our final tally the only ways humanity has to tell someone they care are awkward hugs, backing away nervously and administering pepper-spray shots to the eyes.”
“And so, allow us to introduce a variety of new, vastly better expressions, so you can let your fellow mercs know they’ve earned a special place in the rusty gnarl of barbed wire you call a heart.”
Expressions include the conga, square dancing, the rather self-explanatory “skull-cracker,” a flip, and rock-paper-whatever-the-last-one-is-these-days.
I imagine day two will bring more substantial additions, but for now there you go. Those are the things. Do watch the movie, though. It’s quite fun, and as ever, it is likely full of sneaky, sneaky hints about the contents of the update.