World Of Warcraft Player Reaches 90 Without Picking A Side


In case you’d forgotten, MMO players are crazy. I know: I used to be one. This, though, is a whole new level of dedication to a mind-numbingly repetitive task. A World of Warcraft player named “Doubleagent” (get it?) rolled a Pandaren character andĀ never left the neutral starting zone. Somehow, though, they found a way to hit WoW’s current level cap of 90. And by somehow, I mean they picked a lot of herbs and mined Azeroth hollow. This is not a task congruent with keeping one’s sanity, but when somebody voluntarily sets out to do this, it makes you wonder if they were ever truly sane to begin with.

Now, quests got the character up to around level ten or so, but after that experience from enemies dried up, and herbs/ore were the only teets Doubleagent could reliably suckle precious, precious XP from.

In actuality, Doubleagent didn’t find the process quite as boring as you might think. Despite the fact that it took 173.5 days’ worth of playtime (dating all the way back to 2012), they found the process rather soothing:

“At times I can find it relaxing, a change from the normal. Plus it’s pretty easy to do when I have TV shows or movies that I need to catch up on, moreso than trying to do that during a battleground or raid.”

Which… actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, why not? To each their own, and say what you will but this sort of thing takes tremendous dedication.

Plus, now when somebody asks the age old question – Alliance or Horde – there’s a fully viable third option to bellow (because the only time anybody asks that anymore is at BlizzCon): NEITHER.


  1. Ganimoth says:

    Am I the only one who smells a bot user? :)

    • HauntedQuiche says:

      Except it does actually match up really well with the thing for it being something to do while watching TV.

      I know the reason I’ve been playing Minecraft for years but have hardly seen most of the game is because I just dig up stone and build yet more towers while listening to Radio 4.

    • Jim Dandy says:

      To avoid smelliness when using a bot I recommend the avoidance of meat, cheese and lobster (especially lobster).

      To avoid smelliness when using another’s bot I recommend a rectal douche – a tomato-shaped squeezable sauce-bottle makes an amusing and practical applicator. Of course, it goes without saying that the amenability of the owner of said bot must be established prior to its use.

  2. phelix says:

    What if someone with that level of dedication set out to do professional bugfixing?

    • LionsPhil says:

      Bugfixing isn’t a mindless, repetitive task you can do with your attention elsewhere.

      It’s got more in common with solving a murder mystery. It was the faulty destructor in the heap with a double-free!

      Except you’re not John Nettles and nobody is playing a theremin.

      • Matt says:

        So that’s what’s been missing from my work soundtrack.

      • GameCat says:

        Except that solving murder mystery doesn’t spawn 10 more random unrelated murders elsewhere.

      • Harlander says:

        “Nestor Valgrind Investigates”

        “The Casebook of Dr. Memory”

        .. and so on

      • The Random One says:

        Now I wan to read a series of murder mysteries that are solved by an unusually insightful coder. She would be called Alessandra Patch so the series could be called Patch Notes.

    • trooperwally says:

      What if somebody with that level of dedication set out to… do ANYTHING more meaningful than grind in an MMO?! I feel this special person has robbed the world of a great work of are, a novel, perhaps a breakthrough in the fundamental understanding of matter. Oh the humanity.

      • Tukuturi says:

        Just because it isn’t to your personal tastes doesn’t mean it isn’t a great work of art.

        • trooperwally says:

          MMOs as performance art? I guess is no more esoteric than much of the stuff that wins the Turner prize. Someone nominate this dedicated geek immediately! And then write a critique of his masterpiece which examines how it reflects both his troubled youth and outsider complex.

          • Dances to Podcasts says:

            His neutrality and willingness to stay on the starting island/turtle does seem to symbolize an unwillingness to engage with the wider world.

  3. GernauMorat says:

    This is what they did in South Park no? When they have to kill That Which Has No Life

    • bills6693 says:

      Yeah pretty much – they go around killing pigs or something to get to top level, so that they won’t be noticed by the guy who goes round killing everyone who tries to level. Pretty good episode!

  4. trjp says:

    “.. once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”

    I’ve held-out on a return to WoW for a long time now (almost 2 years – longest ever) but it cannot last forever because WoW is – quite simply – the greatest online world ever made and everything else is dwarfed (lol) by it.

    Not sure I’m quite that keen on the Panda thing tho!

    • Nevard says:

      I guess you only have to wait another five or so much for time travel orc planet, buying the box even gives you a free thing that boosts one of your characters to level 90 and lets you skip panda land if you so desire to use it.

    • Seth_Keta says:

      Clearly you’ve never played Guild Wars 2. I’ve held-out returning to WoW for almost 2 years myself, and now that I’ve been gifted GW2, I don’t have any desire to ever return to WoW. I wont say the game is better, but I will say that I enjoy it to a far greater degree. The community is certainly something that I’ve come to love and respect.

      • defunct says:

        I’ve been away from WoW even longer, with no desire to ever play it again. I tried leaving it in the past, but those times never worked, and I always wound up playing again. Not this time. It’s been more than four years now. I’m playing some GW2 now, but I only just started and I actually DO find it to be a wonderful game.

    • Themadcow says:

      I’m been somewhat banking on divorce and/or winning the lottery (so I don’t have to work but can pretend I’m going to work every day) before I return to WoW. Unfortunately neither have looked remotely like happening – although I still hold out some hope for divorce.

    • Arglebargle says:

      Tastes differ: It only took me 6 days to decide that the WoW world sucked. Poor design, poor writing, and bog standard tropes. Since that was not likely to change, it wasn’t worth my effort. Everything I have heard or seen since then has just reinforced that.

      Of course, there are obviously millions of folks who disagree with me.

  5. frightlever says:

    Sounds like a fairly stress free way to play a MMORPG.

    Hell, I played a Tauren Warrior for about a year on WOW and only made about lvl 36. Clearly I was doing it wrong.

    edit- I just realised what 174 days of play means. Good God…

  6. Torn says:

    173 days 19 hours.

    Oh the humanity

    • Themadcow says:

      And yet still a noob by WoW standards. The scary thing would be when you add in the time they spent on their ‘mains’.

    • Grygus says:

      I wonder how many days I have reading RPS comments.

  7. Zunt says:

    Well, that answers the age old question: do bears do shit all in the woods?

    Also, “teats”.

  8. DThor says:

    This activity is about as pointless a way of frittering away a precious human life as, say, obsessively collecting spoons, or passing judgement in a gaming forum…

  9. Sarkhan Lol says:

    What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

  10. Cvnk says:

    Why does this story sound familiar. Either this is a repost, someone else already did this, or last time it was mentioned he was level 80 or something.

    In any case, as a long-time Wurm player, this does not impress me.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      You’re probably thinking of the player(s) who leveled their characters naked, which was in the news some time ago.

  11. Shodex says:

    I’m honestly taken aback that people are still dedicating this hard to WoW.
    I thought it’s time in the spotlight had come and went.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      You’re more correct with the spotlight thing than you think. Just because certain media stop paying attention to something doesn’t mean they somehow disappear. Something about trees, forest and sounds, but with games and media.

  12. Bart Stewart says:

    I find this fascinating because it highlights the degree to which playing most RPGs as a jack-of-all-trades is discouraged by design.

    MMORPGs in particular try to stovepipe players into one of their approved pre-built progression paths. If you want the coolest skills, which act as gates to the most interesting content, you must specialize.

    That’s not a “wrong” way to play. Obviously a lot of people are just fine with it. But it feels wrong to me. I’m not a specialist; I’m a generalist. I’m happy when I can find elements from multiple disciplines and combine them in fun and effective ways.

    But choosing that route in one of the few MMORPGs that permits it at all — pre-NGE Star Wars Galaxies, for example — means you can see a larger number of different “easy” places, but you’ll never get to see the best stuff. Even SWG cordoned off their later content, such as the Corellian Corvette, to players who chose to specialize.

    For me, that trade-off was worth it. (Until the elimination of skills.) And perhaps it was worth it to this player of WoW not to be forced into a Horde/Alliance “specialization.”

    But there’s pretty much a big sign that reads “Generalists need not apply” hanging over every MMORPG. How many potential players are these games losing because they’re unwelcoming to players who don’t care to become masters of a particular gameplay specialization?

    Just this WoW player and me, then?