Inverted Astronauts: We Are The Dwarves

Dwarves are fairly predictable. They drink, the fancify their beards, they mine, they sing, they occasionally go stark raving mad. We Are The Dwarves should be a predictable game then, having declared what it is right there in the title. The project, currently on Kickstarter and seeking $120,000, has at least one surprise tucked ‘neath its whiskers though. The dwarves are astronauts. Piloting a drill. Eh? They exist in the Stone Universe, “where stone replaces the void between planets and stars and hollows replace planets”. After playing a million games set in a magical kingdom, this is good to hear.

The game has three player-controlled protagonists, which immediately made me assume some Lost Vikings shenanigans would be going on. You know the sort of thing – one dwarf can lift others above his head, one can pick locks and one can cough out meady farts that knock enemies unconscious.

There will be some unique abilities but they’re for application in tactical combat rather than puzzle solving. Sure, there’s probably puzzle solving as well but the combat seems to be the focus. The player can either handle one dwarf or use a pausable order-queuing system. I like that the Kickstarter video contains plenty of in-game footage and that most of the text on the page isn’t lore. I don’t mind discovering lore while I’m playing but if I’m expected to start panting with excitement because a project has a severe bout of Silmarillion Syndrome, it’s probably not the one for me.

Dwarves in a drill exploring a universe of stone with hollows in place of planets. World sold, backstory sufficiently told. Show me what I’ll be doing there. Whale Rock Games pitch well and they have a wide-ranging pedigree, from Metro: LastLight and S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call Of Pripyat to Elder Scrolls Online, Everquest and…This Is Vegas. If the person who worked on This Is Vegas does happen to read this, I’d love to hear what happened. Someone decided to build a game with blackjack and hookers – and I’m not even going to finish that.

We Are The Dwarves is brimming with potential and I haven’t even mentioned that one of the dwarves may well be an owl disguised as a dwarf. Do take a look.


  1. SimonPetrikov says:

    Torment, I’m really happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish but We Are The Dwarves has one of the best fantasy settings of all time. OF ALL TIME.

  2. RedViv says:

    Guess that means a Void Destroyer was REALLY very effective here.

  3. LegendaryTeeth says:

    I think I’m gonna need to back this on premise alone.

  4. SnallTrippin says:

    I actually like the title “Inverted Astronauts”…damn…

  5. Geebs says:

    Had me at “hollows replace planets”.

    Edit: WTF they have a “nephritis” backer tier? I do not think that word means what they think it means.

    • SuddenSight says:

      Given that they seem to be sticking with traditional lore surrounding dwarves and their drinking of alcohol, they might know exactly what it means.

  6. Niko says:

    My neighbour is a dwarf and he recently got a nice golden chair only from working part time home (he lives on a diamond asteroid).

  7. Darth Gangrel says:

    “one of the dwarves may well be an owl disguised as a dwarf” The “dwarf” to the right, the one in the cowl could totally be an owl.

    • spacevagrant says:

      It certainly would be most foul if the Dwarf in the cowl was in fact an owl.

      • Skabooga says:

        I would sell my soul to see a foul dwarf in a cowl who is indeed an owl.

  8. Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    If it takes a long time to fly to Alpha Centauri, imagine how long it would take to tunnel there…

    • Skabooga says:

      I’m still holding out hope that we’ll find a way to circumvent the special theory of geologitivity.

  9. wu wei says:

    Shouldn’t that be petronauts?

  10. alert says:

    The concept art and idea sound cool, like it could be a bit surreal/roger dean-ish, but the actual game looks like just another ARPG.

    • Great Cthulhu says:

      Agreed. I’d be super excited if this concept were used as the basis for an epic CRPG in the vein of The Witcher or Mass Effect. As yet another ARPG though…

      I sincerely wish them the best, but I won’t be backing.

    • Gilead says:

      Yeah, I like the setting and the art, but I’m not convinced by the Kickstarter pitch or the trailer that the game itself is going to be anything special. The slightly wonky English throughout the Kickstarter page and the lack of any writers on the team is also raising a red flag with me, but depending on the kind of game it ends up being that might not actually matter.

    • massey says:

      By the looks, and description of combat i’d say its more like Krater. Not your typical ARPG but could be on the edges of that genre.
      I for one loved Krater and the premise of this looks fantastic, so it will be watched with my glowing eyes.

  11. BurningPet says:

    Yeah, definitely sold. i wouldn’t mind if they dropped all and any actiony parts and leave it as an exploration game that you just scroll around and see those wonderful creatures interact and live in this beautifully crafted world.

    That would be the best Digital Ant farm eva..

  12. Turkey says:

    This looks way too professional to be on Kickstarter. You’d think there would be a euro-publisher willing to kick them a few million to make this game.

  13. valrus says:

    I would play lots of games set in this universe! Not this game, though. I’ve hit monsters with axes approximately ten thousand times before. I would rather pilot the drill around, or direct the colonization of the hollows.