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Return Of The Hustle Kings: Pure Pool

I’ve been receiving my pool fix from Pool Nation in recent times, when I’m not clattering balls across Manchester’s most beer-stained cloth in the basement of The Bay Horse. Previously, if I wanted to fail at trick shots in the comfort of my own home, I had to crank up my PS3 and play Hustle Kings, which has the greatest menu music that the world has ever known. The team behind the game have returned with Pure Pool, which is due out ‘soon’. It looks very shiny, which makes me lament the lack of a pool game set in a dingy pub. I’d feel right at home.

It’s coming to the new Xbox and Playstation as well as PC, although I can’t find any information about whether cross-platform play will be included for online leagues and the rather sinister ‘DNA profile’ head to head. From what I can gather, the game will be able to mimic your skill so that friends can play against you when you’re AFK skydiving or hanging out in the VIP lounge at some fancy cocktail bar. Presumably, Pure Pool accomplishes this by extracting your DNA and creating a clone with limited awareness that is installed in a small cubicle, occasionally twitching with recognition of its appalling half-life while waiting for a ‘new game’ message to ping onto the screen embedded in its face.

On a side note, there seems to be an unwritten rule that every press release for a pool game has to include a ‘pardon me, vicar’ ‘nudge nudge’ joke about balls. This one simply says ‘Balls out…’. We get it. Testicles. It’s a silly trend and I certainly wouldn’t stoop to that level myself. Well, maybe, provided they weren’t dangling too low.

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Adam Smith

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