Love On Top: Mount Your Friends Out Now On Steam

Scenes from the Rock, Paper, Shotgun documentary.

If a certain mixture of screenshake and sound effects can make a game feel Vlambeerian, I think it’s time we cemented clumsy, barely-controllable floppy-physics as Foddyan. Stegersaurus Software’s Mount Your Friends would be Fig. 1 alongside the dictionary definition – and I mean this as a strong compliment. It takes the button-per-limb style of QWOP or GIRP and transports it into something directly competitive.

This is how it works: one player climbs atop a platform, reaches beyond a goal line, and hits a button to fix themselves in place. Player two then has sixty seconds to climb on top of them and reach further before it’s back to player one to climb higher still and so on. In each turn, players are both climber and climbing frame. It’s comic, tense and finally available through Steam as of today. There’s a trailer and some hands-on thoughts below.

Here’s the Steam release trailer:

There’s obvious comedy in this. The concept – MOUNT. YOUR. FRIENDS – is self-explanatory. Every character looks ridiculous (the Steam version has extra customization) and its full of windmilling willies and accidental hand-placements from the climbers.

The greatest source of humour comes from the very real tension the game creates, though. Sixty seconds is a long time to climb a platform or a single person. It’s not very much time at all to climb a flesh mountain that quickly grows six, ten, fifteen people high. There’s strategy to be found in your person placement, as each player tries to create a difficult overhang (teehee) or awkward slope (giggle) for their opponent, but the winner is almost always the person with the mettle not to sweat under the time pressure.

It’s the kind of experience that draws a crowd. I’ve only ever played it at parties with people hotseating so everyone get’s a turn, and people don’t look away when they’re not playing. Everyone is cheering and jeering and laughing when someone inevitably slips and tumbles earthward, their chubby fingers failing to find purchase among their opponents love handles.

Mount Your Friends isn’t a particularly complicated pleasure, so it’s up to you whether you think its worth £4 (or £3.19 in the launch sale). I had fun with it.


  1. Armatool says:

    rip Pc games

    • Jerppa says:

      You don’t want to mount your friend?

    • Niko says:

      Penises killed PC games?

      • RobF says:

        They survived Duke Nukem Forever, Driv3r, Aliens Colonial Marines, tit physics, hats on mudcrabs, goat simulators and even managed to survive a new Elite but sadly, RIP PC Games. You were killed by dick physics and a goat.

        Let us all have a moments silence for what we’ve lost. I’ll miss RPS too and all who sailed in it, all the beautiful hopes and dreams of videogames that we could have had.

        Should have stuck an orc in it. Then we’d have not been in this mess. :(

        RIP PC Games. R.I.P.

        • Niko says:

          Weirdly enough, they survived a game called Immoral Cumbat, which featured a penis as a primary weapon, among other things.

  2. int says:

    Dick jiggle? Well why not?

  3. Anthile says:

    This raises so many questions.

  4. Tei says:

    Nothing is wrong. All is permited. Close you eyes and visit that happy lalala fantasy land with the openminded lady goats.

  5. Taidan says:

    I’m patiently waiting for the outrage storm concerning the penis physics being used merely for “eye-candy”, instead of contributing to the actual gameplay via actually affecting the balance of the mostly-naked sexually idealized male forms on display. Don’t disappoint, internet.

    . . . .

    Penis physics.

    I love this game.

  6. Stephen Roberts says:

    Things are looking up!

  7. DrollRemark says:

    Well, Cara won’t have to search far to find her next S.EXE article then.

  8. Baines says:

    Having played the Xbox 360 version, it is actually a fun game.

    Strangely the PC version does not offer a demo. Guess that is one of the areas where console games beat PC games these days. *ducks and runs away*

  9. ComradeJohan says:

    For me, what absolutely SEALS THE DEAL for this game is the music.

    The music is super serious and intense, like a movie trailer for the next big serious and intense action movie (with sub-plots about the nature of the human condition).

    It just wins it for me.

  10. MellowKrogoth says:

    Wait… no women characters? RPS, where’s the outrage at the absence of women characters? Have you given up the fight for equality? They have a right to be mostly naked and to jiggle too! And to be mounted by their friends!