Game Kebab – King’s Bounty: Dark Side Released

'BLUH!' goes the vampire.

“The crown prince of night meats!” is what might declare Stepney Fried Chicken’s doner kebab (£3.95 with chips and a drink). “The next morning I felt like Baudelaire on acid!” muse GreaseStain. There’s no need, of course. When the number 25 night bus deposits you in Stepney, you’ll find yourself facing Stepney Fried Chicken. You know exactly what you’ll find should you enter that door, and what you’ll get out of your purchase. No surprises, only meat.

Similarly, King’s Bounty: Dark Side has left Early Access and formally launched. It is another King’s Bounty game. You understand.

This means new units, new artifacts, minor tweaks, and a new story for the turn-based strategy/RPG series. This time you play the ‘evil’ forces, raising an army of darkness to slaughter goodie-goodie heroes as an orc warrior, magical vampire, or paladin-y demoness. I will inevitably buy Dark Side at some point, play and enjoy it for around 20 hours over a sleepy weekend, then stop and never return. I understand that.

Our John, awfully taken with the idea of skulking around wearing a cape and hissing “Bluh!“, says he’ll play it and might tell you Wot He Thinks later.

King’s Bounty: Dark Side is on Steam now for £15.99. Paying £3 more will get you a ‘Premium Edition’ with two extra locations, an extra unit, a bonus item, and a dozen extra quests. You don’t need those hot wings too, do you, but these appetites aren’t rational, are they?


  1. supermini says:

    Last game was done rather badly. The dev team changed since Crossworlds, and while the same components were there, overall design of maps and mechanics that they introduces was not very well done. The early signs for this one are good though, a few people I spoke to had good first impressions (of the early access build). I think I’ll wait a bit before commiting, though.

  2. Gnoupi says:

    “Our John, awfully taken with the idea of skulking around wearing a cape and hissing “Bluh!“”

    Sounds to me like he needs to play Magicka again. It does have a dark character making “bleeeeh”. It’s not a vampire, though.

  3. Wowbagger says:

    As an ethnic Vampire I find this stereotyping offensive.

  4. Granath says:

    And not a f**k was given.

  5. dE says:

    I this still on the island rails or did they go back to it being a coherent continent again? I’m weird in that way (and others) but that’s what really rubbed me the wrong way about Armored Princess and later installments in the series. I somehow just don’t like the weird island hopping, seems too disconnected to me and as a result I never particularly started caring about the world.

    Should have watched the Trailer more closely, there’s a map screen in there and it’s indeed Islands. Meh :(

  6. ZIGS says:

    This series is the Call of Duty/Assassin’s Creed of turn-based strategy

    • sansenoy says:

      What??? I still get excited every time this series is mentioned, despite a few misfires… Comparing it to that crud is just mean

      • ScottTFrazer says:

        I think he’s referring to it in this sense: link to

        “In short, Assassin’s Creed is now the adult contemporary of videogames. Assassin’s Creed: Unity is Michael Bolton.

        Here’s the second thing: this is not a criticism. This is how it’s supposed to work.”

        • sansenoy says:

          He compared it to call of duty, there’s no silver lining here…

  7. Keyrock says:

    The orc riding the horse looks so hilarious. This giant ass orc riding what looks like a teenie weenie horse.

  8. kentdoggydog says:

    I’m so bummed out that is not a real thing.

    • says:

      I’m so surprised it isn’t a real thing.

      • tigerfort says:

        I’m astonished no-one has bought the domain in the several hours since this post went up.

    • Henchimus says:

      I instantly stopped reading the article and searched ferociously for donerdudes. A kebab shop review site – what I always wanted! What would others think of my favourite kebab shops? I longed to know… but alack.

  9. tumbleworld says:

    Sadly, “another King’s Bounty game” tells me very little. The trailer suggests some sort of mini-World of Warcraft, only with hexagons.

    Maybe it’s because I’ve never been to Stepney.

    Either way, I think I’m sticking with three pieces of chicken.

  10. GenBanks says:

    I nearly rented a flat in Stepney. Seems it gets trendier by the year…

  11. Wytefang says:

    Must be a British thing but I couldn’t make heads nor tails of that opening paragraph by Alice. Something about chicken and meat and that’s about it. ???

    • says:

      I’m reading it over and over and every way I turn it, there seems to be missing an object in that sentence.. Puzzling!

      • Riotpoll says:

        The gist of it is: Buy a kebab in a greasy takeaway, you get a kebab from a greasy takeaway. i.e you buy a Kings Bounty game you get a Kings Bounty game. (the first bit is basically saying there’s no point saying anything about it cos it’s more of the same) ;)

        On the game, may well get it at some point, but none of the KB games have grabbed me since the first one.

    • supermini says:

      English is my second language, but what I took from it is that when you want something greasy and fried in the wee hours on the morning you’ll get some regular fried chicken and not something with a marketing slogan of “crown prince of night meats”.

      It’s a metaphor for, well, King’s Bounty in this case, in the sense that you know what you’re getting, some good old King’s Bounty, which is (greasy) good fun. It’s also calling the game formulaic, but it’s doing so in a very nice and roundabout way.

    • Henchimus says:

      Haha foolish Americans, who know not the kebab shop.

  12. Frank says:

    I’m glad there are another 400 hours of King’s Bounty campaigns out there whenever I need them. Keep ’em coming.

  13. satan says:

    After a day of Dark Side I can’t recommend it at the moment unless you’re a KB fanboi like me, it feels like it’s missing about 6 months of polish.

  14. bstard says:

    Since of late I’m always checking the nationality of devs / publishers. Skipping this one without a second a LetsPlay.