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The Grandest Stage Of Them All: SpaceWrestler

Present me with a backstory, a reason why I’m killing and looting, and I skip past it more often than not. Once a game begins and the story starts to unfold, that’s fine, but if I’m expected to read a bunch of lore and legend before I even start, it better be interesting and relevant. Free browser game SpaceWrestler has the most interesting and relevant backstory of any game:

‘Mad Meteor’ Mike was the greatest wrestler the world had ever seen. After winning the 1986 World Championship Belt he became powerful enough to become an all-powerful titan of space wrestling. Now ‘Mad Meteor’ Mike travels through space, slamming entire planets to warp between galaxies. All that stands in his way are the evil wrestlelords.”

SLAM. A live action prologue lurks below the mat.

Hogan, anxious and aware that Savage will out-promo him all day long. One of the rare times the big man ever looked nervous. And does he ejaculate during that final handshake? I believe he does.

It’s a simple and enjoyable game, boosted beyond the stratosphere thanks to the strong theme of spacewrestling. Smash planets to build up the ‘Wrestlemana’ bar and then slam evil wrestlelords so hard that they fly right off the edge of the screen. Destroy an entire galaxy and ‘Mad Meteor’ Mike beams to another one.

It’s not entirely clear to me why he’s slamming entire planets. And now that I think about it, that doesn’t seem like a good thing to do. Maybe the evil wrestlelords aren’t so evil after all – maybe they’re wrestlecops trying to stop Mike from destroying all that lives in the universe.

Oh dear.

An chance of WWE 2K15 on PC? No? Thought not. Back to MDickie.

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Adam Smith

former Deputy Editor

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