It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I can write about the most incredibly fluffy present I’ve ever received in my life if I want to, damn it. A close friend and ex-colleague mailed me this a few weeks ago and allowed me to open it pre-emptively, to make up for a dreadful week. This is what I found. If it was any fluffier, I’d weaponize that lamb and turn it against curmudgeons everywhere. It would rule households. Worlds. But, well, it didn’t quite hit the bar. Poor Fritz. As always, however, here is a bucket of discounts to tide you over till the next week. Have a good one!
Murder and mayhem on the high seas. Why, it’s everything you asked for and more. Also, cheap. And mostly deceased, from what some people are saying. But even though its star has long since sailed, it looks like there are still people hoping to get new passengers aboard The Ship. All right, I’m done with the nautical references. At all of a dollar (or so?), The Ship is going for rather cheap right now. Those looking to purchase it should note that it comes with two extra “activations,” which you can use to compel others to play with you.
Five Nights at Freddy’s
Five Nights at Freddy’s has seen a remarkable amount of hype as of late, and for good reason. It is a killer horror game. Like, “kill you with heart-stopping levels of panic” kind of horror, to be precise. In case you missed our first report on this, the general premise here is that you’re a security guard tasked with watching a dinky little restaurant as the hours tick to dawn. Unfortunately, there’s a catch. The animatronic performers want you dead, you only have a finite amount of electricity to work with, and a dearth of caution is almost always synonymous with things jumping at your face. Can you survive the evening? (TLDR: “RWAGLWRWAGHERHF – ” Personal gibberish level may vary.)
Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet
I’m terrible at Metroidvanias. I have a tendency to forget where I’m going and to crash into spikes when attempting to flee boulders Which is unfortunate, because I absolutely adore Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, one of the first games I ever checked out in my career as a games journalist. Filled with a menagerie of organic-looking threats and hard black silhouettes that transform into wide-eyed nightmares, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet won’t win best of breed, but it’s certainly one of the better little-ship-hurtling-through-terrifying-planet games out there.
In the cluttered landscape of action RPGs, the Torchlight franchise stands out foremost in my thoughts. Possibly because it can be so absurdly adorable, at times. (I enjoy cute things. Can you tell?) But mostly because it is such a slick, shameless celebration of the genre. Visual effects are plentiful, loot is everywhere, and difficult narratives are eschewed in favor of more pew pew. Torchlight makes it incredibly easy to just slip into a meditative state where there’s nothing in the world but mashing buttons and flashy attacks. The Torchlight Pack comes with both titles in the series.
Also of note:
Quest for Glory 1 -5 – $3.99/£2.40/€3.04
So good, so silly, so beautifully self-aware. If you weren’t lucky enough to grow up with the entire Quest of Glory series, now is an excellent time to correct that oversight. A delectable blend of genres, the Quest of Glory games come with witty dialogue, clever pacing, and a remarkably good understanding as to what players really want to do in a digital world. I highly recommend it, on the off-chance you haven’t played it fifty times over already. (Side note: there’s a ‘Last Chance’ sales also currently going on. Some titles are being discontinued, and this will be the last time you can get those for cheap. At least, on Gog.)
Overlord pack – $2.99/£2.24/€2.83
“This is game that won’t win awards but is solid in all departments,” says a Gamersgate commentor. It’s an accurate depiction of the Overlord franchise, which seems to try, just a little, to be an edgier successor the Dungeon Keeper legacy. (All familial ties are secretly metaphorical. I think.) Like anything else in the world, the series has no shortage of faults but it is charming enough to make the right person want to forgive its inadequacies. We seemed partial to its devilish charms when it was first released. You might be too.
Video Game Bundle 4.0 –
I rarely read non-fiction titles, a side effect, I think, of spending so much time writing non-fiction myself. The news cycle is totally exhausting, guys. However, even though I curl my stubby little nose at historical tomes, it’s impossible not to appreciate the wealth of research and prose present within the latest Videe Game Bundle. The fourth in the series, it features writing analysis about energy mechanics, Chrono Trigger, Super Mario Brothers and more. There’s even a gorgeous music album, so get it while it’s hot.