Resident Evil Revelations 2 Announced But Unrevealed

What do you even need to get fit for, zombie?

If Capcom’s announcement of Resident Evil Revelations 2 had included any useful or interesting information, I’d have told you about that. As all they offered was a teaser trailer and some artwork, let’s talk about Troll 2. One of those so-bad-it’s-good cult classics, the horror movie (not in any way a sequel to Troll) is about backwoods town Nilbog, whose residents are secretly goblins (not trolls). The goblins eat out-of-towners, of course, but are vegetarian so they magically turn people into plants then scoop up the goop. It made a serious point about vegetarianism, its director insists.

Based on the live-action trailer, the only rational assumption we can make is that Revelations 2 will do the same for fitness culture and those Fitbit wristband computer things.

Or not. Whatever. If we stick simply to the facts, we can say (thanks to some teaser artwork) that at least one character in the game will have at least one eyeball. Capcom call it a “survival horror experience” and say that it’s coming to PC in “early 2015,” but we’ll have to trust them on that.

Back in the realms of wild speculation, let’s suggest that perhaps it will likely include some manner of violent mindless or mind-controlled human, which characters will shoot with guns until they fall over. The original Revelations, ported over fancied-up from Nintendo 3DS, was closer to the series’ early days than many recent RE games; hopefully this’ll still be along those lines. Of course, for really old Resident Evil, Capcom are also revamping the Gamecube ‘REmake’ of the series’ very first game.

Here, this trailer is seeded with tiny little teases that hardcore fans might enjoy but doesn’t really have much for the rest of us:

15 Comments

  1. Gog Magog says:

    Zombies aspire too don’t be insensitive >:[

  2. Tom Walker says:

    I’m going to go out on a slender, brittle limb here and guess that it’ll be sort of like the first Revelations, only a bit different.

    What I would particularly like is for it to be better.

    • aerozol says:

      I (unexpectedly) really enjoyed Revelations.
      …turns out that’s all I have to say about it really : )

      • Tom Walker says:

        I must admit, I never played it. Still, it’d be better if it was better, right?

  3. Tei says:

    Even zombies can fall victim of fashionable bracelets.

    • Spacewalk says:

      The way that those zombies go for bracelets it’s like a crowd at a clearance sale only really slowly, with even less coordination.

  4. Eight Rooks says:

    I didn’t think Revelations was that much like the originals? No fixed camera angles, proper controls, shooting… but I’ve only played a few minutes, so perhaps I’m missing something.

    As long as they don’t go trying to pacify all the old-school fans with this I’m happy with whatever. You people can have RE:Make 2, I’m not interested in that. Resi 6 was quality (that’s right, I said it again, I’ll fight all of you) and anything that at least keeps the improvements that game brought to the franchise is more than welcome.

    • gabrielonuris says:

      I don’t think it’s praised for being like the originals, it’s praised for being like Resident Evil 4, you know, the first one to turn the series into whatever it is nowadays.

    • SpoonySeeker says:

      I agree, Resident Evil 6 is easily the best co-op game ever made. The sheer amount of non-repeated content, depth of gameplay, and variety of experience is lightyears away from what constitutes a “good” co-op game nowadays.

      What a shame that game reviewers are all old grognards who are incapable of dealing with the fact that the game series they played back when they were in diapers has evolved into something that appeals to more than just the tiny demographic of horror game fans.

      I really hope they don’t ruin RE7 trying to appeal to that over-entitled lot

  5. MkMax says:

    That teaser is screaming “Evil Within” envy

    evil is twitching

  6. int says:

    Oh my Goooooood. Checking the RSS I thought for a second we’d finally get a Troll 2 computer game!

    The movie is more famous than its predecessor even though that movie starred a magical boy called Harry Potter. But I suppose that is because it was made before everyone went nuts about the guy and the books loosely based on Troll.

  7. RARARA says:

    Hey, remember the last time we had a zombie game trailer with a little girl in slow motion?

    • Jalan says:

      Fetch This, Escort That Island. Weepy piano tunes + dying children = ka-ching!

  8. Kills Alone says:

    I get the feeling that the little girl is running towards a better game.