The Long Dark Impres… Oh I’m Being Eaten By A Wolf

The Long Dark has arrived on Early Access, with a bunch of new features since we first looked at it, including a choice between a male or female protagonist, a lot more variation in loot – clothes, food, equipment – as well as some new locations to discover. One thing they haven’t done is made it any easier to play. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s gotten a whole lot more difficult. Here’s my diary entries for my return to the game.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good. Oh, I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good.

I’ve found a hut! Goodness knows, I need some shelter as the storm picks up. Inside I’ve found a new hat, some shoes, and there’s a fireplace. I can finally feel warm – I just have to go outside and get some wood and oh I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good. Luckily I can see a deer carcass right in front of me, and perhaps I’ll be able to cut some meat, and recover some hide, from its corpse except no I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. And it’s night time. Things really don’t look good.

I can’t see anything. I’ve hurt my legs, having apparently fallen off the side of a hydroelectric dam. I got my flare lit at last, and made my way toward some train tracks – followed them a good long way in the pitch black, but they ended in a rock fall. Turning around to go back, I saw on the bridge I’d crossed the green glowing eyes of a wolf. Didn’t like the look of him.

I got past the wolf, and foraged for some wood until dawn. That really took it out of me – calories are low, and I’m freezing. But the dam! I’ve made my way back, and it seems I had crashed right next to a door! Of all the luck – damned darkness. So I’ve come inside, shut the door, and I’ve found a good bit of equipment in the echoey rooms in here except somehow there’s a wolf in here and he’s eating me.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good. There’s an icy lake to cross, several huts scattered across it. I’m nervous it might crack, but the weather’s so bloody cold that it’s surely solid. I’ll just see if there’s anything to find inside the huts. Oh, no I won’t, because I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good. I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today I’m being eaten by a wolf.

Day One: Dear Diary. Today my plane crashed in the Canadian wilderness. I’ve only got a few scant clothes with me, a couple of bandages, and a flare or two. Things don’t look good. I keep having this recurring dream about being eaten by dogs. No idea. But damn, it’s so cold. Found some woollen longjohns, and tin of pork and beans. So things are looking up! Just need to get some sleep, and I’ll be able to oh I’ve died of dehydration.

I should add that after I wrote this, I’ve gone on to have an extraordinarily successful game, where despite the absolutely idiotic demand to constantly eat food (seriously, this guy gets hungry ten minutes after downing 1.5kg of deer meat – it desperately needs fixing), I’ve kept alive for nearly four days. And I’m still alive, currently flushed with 3000 calories, a full tummy, and managed to recover my overall health from down as low as 21% all the way back up to peak condition. I’ve an arsenal of tools, and thick, warm clothes. It can be done! Although I still hear wolves howling outside.

42 Comments

  1. cqdemal says:

    Maybe it’s just me after a dreary day at work, but this is the funniest thing I’ve read here in quite some time.

  2. Drake Sigar says:

    Not one Liam Neeson joke. Good show sir.

    • Turkey says:

      These things don’t make jokes. The only time they laugh is on the inside when they eat your funny-bone.

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      keithzg says:

      Liam Neeson jokes won’t save you.

  3. Kefren says:

    Sounds like my first games of 7 Days To Die. But replace wolf with zombie. As with most of these games, once you learn a few tips (e.g. in 7DTD – how to make a stone axe, and how to make wooden building blocks) you can last significantly longer.

  4. soulblur says:

    Hmm. Hopefully ease up on the difficulty a bit. Why are there so many wolves? That’s a mystery. I don’t think there should be wolves all over the place.

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      Wisq says:

      And they’re also generally afraid of humans, not attacking them. In fact, there were only 3 recorded wolf attacks in North America over a 50-year period, a record that John has just busted twice over.

      But, ah well, sometimes realism isn’t as fun. :)

      • Eight Rooks says:

        The loading screen does specifically say “We have taken liberties with the behaviour of wild animals and we do not condone shooting/punching/otherwise murdering them en masse”, or words to that effect. :) It’s supposed to be because of the geomagnetic Happening that’s done for the world, see.

    • Eight Rooks says:

      There really aren’t. John is merely terrible at not being eaten by wolves.

      Seriously, though, it’s a brutal game at times, but not quite as merciless as he makes it sound. Wolves are frightening, and there’s definitely too much emphasis on eating (plus why the hell you can’t consume a candy bar and move at the same time I do not know) but it’s fairly easy to stay out of their way if you keep a watchful eye out and remember they can spawn inside buildings, plus I’m pretty sure you burn calories a lot faster in a howling sub-Arctic wilderness. As other people are pointing out, the trick to these games is figuring out how to get into the core loop of actions needed to not die. It’s just kinda trickier in The Long Dark than many others.

      Greatly enjoying it myself, if that wasn’t obvious. I agree with mister Walker that it could definitely stand to be tweaked some more, but I’m pretty sure that ultimately it’s just not supposed to be the kind of game where he gets his home-made chocolate cake. A very, very promising Early Access release, for the most part – it doesn’t have the visual wow factor of The Forest, but the excellent art direction and audio more than compensate for the low-fi assets and while it might not have as much to do as other survival games it’s really stable given how early it is. Really solid foundation to build on, and I’d love to see how a storyline gets worked into this world they’ve got going.

  5. RedViv says:

    Canadian wolves do not mess around. Imagine what their wolverines must be like. Wait.

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    Jiskra says:

    Dear Diary. Today I’m being eaten by a wolf.

    priceless :)

  7. Calculon says:

    Stop taunting the wolf. Its all your fault. If you would just stop taunting them or being looked at by them, then they would leave you alone!
    Sheesh. N00bs.

  8. Vacuum Boogie says:

    I’ve spent about 3 hours with the game and had two relatively successful runs. The first time I died when I went to get some wood at night, I’ve hurt my leg while ascending from the firewatch tower and got eaten by a wolf. The second time I died of starvation while I was hunting a deer with a rifle. I killed the deer though.
    It’s pretty awesome although I’m concerned that once you visit all locations and eat all the food, you’re pretty much doomed. Also after two long playthroughs I knew where everything is in the first location. It’s still a fun little game even at this early point. Hope to see more content soon.

    • Eight Rooks says:

      Given there’s currently an achievement for surviving 50 days, I’m assuming there must be some trick to make up for that. Maybe wolves keep spawning? Steam forum posters were saying their tasty, tasty flesh can keep you going for ages.

      • Vacuum Boogie says:

        Yeah you’re right. I can imagine surviving for a long time because deers and wolves do spawn randomly and you can hunt them, in theory. Plus you can disassemble equipement and repair your best gear. But I’ve only managed to find 5 bullets during both of my runs and I’ve been everywhere except for one place I’ve seen on the screenshots and as far as I’m concerned, you can only hunt with a rifle at the moment. I’ve had an axe, but you can’t actually equip it, you only use it as a tool when finding wood and flaying deers. I should probably try again, maybe I’ve missed something.

  9. h_ashman says:

    somehow there’s a wolf in here and he’s eating me.

    I believe the steam forums have named this particular bugger ‘Fluffy’ as it seems a near permanent addition to the dam complex.

  10. LionsPhil says:

    Being Eaten By A Wolf Simulator 2014.

    I look forward to next year’s barren dry-season savannah sequel, Being Eaten By Hyenas.

  11. hotmaildidntwork says:

    The lesson: In event of geomagnetic apocalypse, do not fuck with the wolves.

  12. CelticPixel says:

    As soon as I get me a rifle, I’m going back to that dam.

  13. Monkeyshines says:

    Can you talk to the wolves?

  14. Smashbox says:

    Weirdly, North American wolves only VERY RARELY (like every few decades) actually kill humans.

    • Eggman says:

      Wolves worldwide very rarely do, their history of being hunted has conditioned them to be terrified of humans.

      Btw, this game does howling winds very well.

      • Eight Rooks says:

        Oh dear God does it ever. I start shivering after I’ve played it for a while. The audio is largely terrific, IMO, very much helps compensate for the slightly lo-fi visuals (again, I really like the art, but it’s kinda obvious it’s a low-budget indie production in that respect).

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          keithzg says:

          Interesting, I hope this game gets Oculus support ’cause then in a month or two (who am I kidding, I live in Edmonton, give it a week at most) I can crack the window a bit and full immerse myself in this game, to take my mind off of the bitter inhospitable void outside. Hrmm, wait, I might not have thought this entirely through.

  15. Mr Bismarck says:

    Jesse’s Fashion Tips.

    This week, I are be mostly eaten by wolves.

  16. AXAXAXAS MLO II: MLO HARDER says:

    I like how RPS vigoroulsy addressed the complaints that they never finish their diaries by finishing eight in a single article.

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    heretic says:

    Hilarious! :D Now just need a video of John narrating this just like with his Forest diary and shark rolling – please please please!!!!

  18. RayEllis says:

    For an alpha it is very playable and quite entertaining, but yeah, them wolves! I haven’t managed to scavenge all the locations completely because I always get caught by one of the buggers and killed.

    Of course, punching a wolf to death became a game in itself for me, usually netting 7kg of meat that kept me going for another day or two. Unfortunately, wolf-wrestling also netted me about a 70% condition loss which takes most of those two days to heal. I consider it an alternative form of hunting! However, you need to keep bandages and antiseptic on hand to deal with your injuries.

    It’s fun, but I think it needs a bit more balancing to make it truly enjoyable. The constant need to find food and water is a bit tiring, and the item degradation seems a bit over-the-top. Likewise, there are other minor things such as the inability to break the wooden furniture in your shelter to provide fuel for the fire – that could be fixed by simply allowing an indoor foraging mode that produces reclaimed wood. In a similar vein, I think that, if you have a knife or a hatchet in your inventory, those wolf-wrestling matches should go a lot easier!

    On the other hand, there are things that are currently not working, like the crafting table and the ice fishing holes, that make me think when it is finished it will be very, very good indeed.

    It is definitely worth a look, but man… watch out for those damn wolves!

  19. Alex_ says:

    Guys the game fun, but as for me, it is still too small location). Personally, my opinion, a couple of days to play this game quite interesting.

    P.C. What would be a long time look for the bunker is here not a great guide, how to find it (http://secretsingames.mya5.ru), is one of the places where it may appear.
    Good luck!