Dote Night: 16 Things Only A Dota 2 Player Understands*

My two loves: Dota 2 and gifs are coming together for this here Dote Night so buckle in and prepare for LOOPING IMAGES. Here are 16 situations you’ll only get if you play Dota… (I can only apologise)

1. When you’re still in the GLHF stage

2. When you solo queue and not a single other person is willing to play support

3. When you need tangos in the laning phase

4. When a carry is “sharing” your tangos

5. When you still haven’t bought brown boots

6. When you find out Sand King has his ultimate

7. When you’ve just killed Roshan and no-one has any inventory space

8. When you go to ward solo and accidentally disturb a Rosh attempt

9. When you begin almost any sentence with “I’m just going to go and…”

10. When you buy items before you have the remotest ideas about hero builds

11. When you find out they have a gem

12. When your Venomancer ult was less effective that you’d like

13. When you got a kill despite panicking and mashing all the buttons

14. When you win

15. When you try to repair your MMR

16. And when you queue for just…one… more… game…

*May or may not be a lie

74 Comments

Top comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    Joshua says:

    If you click "dote night" You'll see a few more. And no, they are hardly like this one.

    Personally I like the ocassional silliness.
  1. Benjamin L. says:

    See, now this is the quality Dota-related content I was looking forward to from you, Ms. Warr.

    • Banyan says:

      Kids, this is why you shouldn’t play Dota. 95% of your brain is stuck in a loop trying to figure out if you could have won that recent game by building into Mjollnir instead of Crystalys, leaving you looking to an outside observer as if you’re slightly brain damaged.

      • BooleanBob says:

        On the contrary; this is why you absolutely should play dota, unless you’re fortunate enough to have a job that actually gives your brain something to do during the seven point five hours a day you’re engaged in repetitive and wholly alienating tasks.

  2. Dog Pants says:

    I understand all of them except 14.

    • Misnomer says:

      For me it was #3. I didn’t know tangos were supposed to last past laning.

      • WagonDredgeHead says:

        Tangos can be pretty legit outside of the laning phase in certain circumstances. For example, if you’re worried about being ganked by a nature’s profit and you don’t have any leap/force staff/quelling blade etc, tangos are a great way to eat a tree when you get sprouted and make that clutch escape.

  3. Heliocentric says:

    Under recommendation from my dentist I don’t dote, but I recognise a few of those feelings.

  4. Premium User Badge

    yhancik says:

    Is Buzzfeed leaking?

  5. Synesthesia says:

    This is officially the best post on rps, and i demand every previous post, and all future ones, to be replaced by it.

    Seriously though, the roshan pair made people at work look at me weirdly.

    • spamalot says:

      That one made me laugh, too: it should probably also be paired with the racoon stealing kibble from cats gif, for those instances when someone from the other team manages to get the jump on the aegis. It burns.

  6. Siimon says:

    RPS, really, are you Buzzfeed now? Please stop this. It isn’t April 1st – you’re scaring me.

    • Premium User Badge

      yhancik says:

      1. I’m not going to get angry at RPS doing one of those very average reaction-gif posts that are all over the cyberbuzzspace
      link to i.imgur.com

      2. Although I’m sad their choices of GIF aren’t very RPSey, at least that would made them distinct from the rest
      link to i.imgur.com

      3. In the end, this can coexist with what I prefer to read on RPS
      link to i.imgur.com

      4. I’m just thinking they can do better, right?
      link to i.imgur.com

      5. But no big deal
      link to i.imgur.com

      6. And above all, let’s not make our brand new writer feel unwelcome here!
      link to i.imgur.com

      • AXAXAXAS MLO II: MLO HARDER says:

        Well said.

      • Premium User Badge

        sicanshu says:

        Seriously. Of all the things to get cranky about. If the worst thing that happens in your day is a string of gifs on a website about PC gaming, I’d say you have a pretty great life (and maybe should spend more time being thankful for it, and less time being a prick on the internet).

  7. Martel says:

    This is great

  8. Clavus says:

    Not really a great first impression from the new writer :/

    • Premium User Badge

      Jdopus says:

      Yeah, I clicked on this to check out her style, pretty bad first impression.

      • Premium User Badge

        Joshua says:

        If you click “dote night” You’ll see a few more. And no, they are hardly like this one.

        Personally I like the ocassional silliness.

        • Premium User Badge

          Philippa Warr says:

          To be honest with you, Dote night this week was going to be about Dota and depression but it was pretty hard going in terms of writing it so I decided to do something light hearted and keep the other piece aside for a moment.

          • Misnomer says:

            Look forward to that piece. It is amazing how simply writing/talking about something you have been thinking about and living constantly can be overwhelming.

        • Siimon says:

          Silliness is fine, but this is far detached from the quality RPS silliness I’ve come to expect.

      • Screwie says:

        This is hardly Pip’s first work for RPS.

        I don’t mind this kind of fun, I’m merely a tad disappointed that the latest dote night hasn’t been as thought-provoking as the norm. Seriously looking forward to the upcoming piece on depression, though.

    • Martel says:

      I assume you mean bad 11th impression considering all the other articles she’s written…..

      • welverin says:

        Well it’s a first impression when you ignore all the others, because you didn’t bother to pay attention to all of the others until after the welcome to the team article.

  9. Cheeetar says:

    I do hope this kind of article doesn’t become more commonly sighted.

  10. Hex says:

    Oh this should be fun.

  11. Vandelay says:

    Who pissed in all of your drinks today?

    These had me laughing all the way through (mainly because I can relate to pretty much all of them.)

    • Synesthesia says:

      Indeed. It seems many gentlemen lost their monocles inside their rectal cavities today.

    • Smoky_the_Bear says:

      Yeah I don’t get it either. “BAWWWWWWWWK, This ONE article is not what I want from RPS”.

      I totally empathised with 6. Poor little fucker.

      • Siimon says:

        If nobody except people who liked this type of stuff spoke up, there would undoubtedly be more of it. I dislike it and the whole Buzzfeed vibe of it, including the title, so I posted saying as much – hoping there won’t be too much more of this stuff. Had there been some divine guarantee that this was a one-off, I would not have cared.

        • Kaben says:

          How about you subscribe and support RPS then. There is a whole functionality within that system to help choose & drive the conent you DO want to see, rather than whining over an article which is intended to be light hearted and you are reading for FREE.

          • Siimon says:

            If people who aren’t subscribers aren’t allowed an opinion, why has there been a comment system in place here? Besides, just because I don’t have that ugly little supporter icon over this account name doesn’t mean I’m not supporting RPS.
            I wasn’t whining, I was just voicing my opinion in the hopes that there wouldn’t be more of this. RPS is one of the few sites around that doesn’t just pander to the lowest common denominator and I’d much prefer if it stayed that way. Being “light-hearted” is no excuse for bringing in subpar content.

          • Kaben says:

            You need to climb down from your ivory tower, just because you dont like the post or appreciate it, doesnt mean you are right. I dont think this is subpar, its just different and there is nothing to indicate that this is how any future artciles will be. There is quite a history of wierd articles on RPS that pop up from time to time that dont fit the overall deep and meaningful theme. They are meant to be fun.

            There is a popular phrase about opinions and how everyone has one – i think it is quite applicable here.

          • Siimon says:

            My lengthily written comment reply was deleted; It explained my point of view and that it was the content I was objecting to and that it in no way had anything to do with the writer; however since the RPS overlords disagree that we should be able to discuss this I’ll just say: You can read your own words right back as if they were meant for you.

  12. DrollRemark says:

    As someone who has never played Dota, I can confirm that none of these make any sense.

    Also, all the dote night articles.

    • jonahcutter says:

      As someone who has never played a single game of DOTA, but have played other online multi, team-based games, I got the gist of several of them. And I was amused.

      Oh, and through some random, coincidental quirk of the internet, I did hear who Roshan is just a couple of days ago and apparently retained that useless (to me) factoid. So yeah, I found those two funny as well.

  13. ayprof says:

    I logged in to be a dick about this article, but then I remembered that the moving pictures didn’t actually force their way inside my butthole, causing it to hurt, and that I should relax a little.

  14. Premium User Badge

    Lexx87 says:

    What a miserable lot you are being.

    This isn’t Pip’s first post on RPS by a long shot, Dote night has been going on a while. I know zero about Dota, but it’s a bit of fun for christ sake.

  15. Easy says:

    As a regular dote playa, I thought these were very accurate and they had me grinning. Thanks Pip.

  16. melnificent says:

    Number 13 is for twitch shooters too. I’m just glad games limit which way I can fire or there would be multiple “accidents” requiring a respawn.

  17. grumblewitch says:

    I’m not sure how this is such an offensive dip in quality for RPS standards especially considering there is no reason to assume it will become common. As someone who cant stop playing Dota I enjoyed this and the majority of the Dote Night articles.

  18. Tarandpaper says:

    Entertaining….. and funny……. I just don’t want to see these articles all the time.

  19. Scrote says:

    Wow, pack of curmudgeons curmudgeoning up in here. I thought it was pretty funny, and if I didn’t I wouldn’t waste my time posting about my displeasure because why the hell would one do that?

    • Awesomeclaw says:

      Because one usually finds that RPS posts thoughtful and high quality articles, and one doesn’t want to give RPS writers/editors the impression that a “x things which y” article lives up to those standards.

      • Siimon says:

        Exactly.

      • Morangie says:

        Sometimes they post thoughtful and high quality articles. Sometimes they post gifs and SPACE HULK SPACE HULK SPACE HULK SPACE HULK. Either is good, both is better.

    • Premium User Badge

      Jdopus says:

      Why is it ok for you to waste your time posting about your enjoyment but not worth your time to post about your displeasure?

      Remember kids! Only ever leave positive feedback on the internet!

      • Premium User Badge

        sicanshu says:

        That’s a fair point. On the other hand, if you can’t say something nice (or at the very least be critical in a constructive way), maybe don’t say anything at all. Plus, I think a community – even on the internet – should be extra nice to its newer members, especially when they’re just trying to give people something to smile about. I’ve never even played Dota, and can vouch for the fact that I don’t understand any of these things, but who doesn’t enjoy watching a cat get jostled on a trampoline? That being said, while I disagree with your sentiment, I do see where you’re coming from, and since your picture is the cover of a particularly good King Crimson album, I figure that by and large you’re probably alright, and hope you have a good day.

        • Siimon says:

          While I agree with your sentiment, I don’t think anybody here said anything mean about the writer or said “your writing sucks” (which based on the little I’ve read of the previous work does, in fact, not suck). It is just people disagreeing with the type of content. Saying something that isn’t nice isn’t the same as disagreeing.

          “be critical in a constructive way” – I’m genuinely curious, how would you say “I appreciate the effort, but this is not the type of stuff I want to see more of from RPS” differently? How would you offer constructive criticism?

          On second thought, I think my top-level should probably have been “”I appreciate the effort, but this is not the type of stuff I want to see more of from RPS””. I don’t think what I said was mean, but I’ll have to admit it was a little snarky (I apologize for that, Ms. Warr!).

          • Premium User Badge

            sicanshu says:

            Truthfully, I really wasn’t directing this at you. I don’t have any problem with snarky, but I did see at least one post (which appears to have since been taken down), saying something to the effect of “You should work for buzzfeed because you’ll never be a real writer.” Which, even if it were true (and, from what little I’ve read of her work, it clearly isn’t), is still a pretty cruddy thing to say to a person. I just think we should at least make an effort to not be assholes, especially with all the negative attention focused recently on games and the people who play them.

          • Siimon says:

            I know you weren’t, your comment just made me think over what I wrote.

            I absolutely agree with you, sicanshu.
            Whether or not I agree with the content of this particular post, Ms. Warr is already a real writer. I look forward to seeing what she writes about in the future.

  20. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    I liked the gifs. :)

  21. JimmyG says:

    @the negative response: #GIFrgate

    I like this post just fine: it was a quick read between two big Wot I Thinks, and — even if it follows the “X things that Y” format — it provides a lot of insight into the range of emotions pervading a single game of Dota. If you pay attention, Pip is still telling us a lot about the game. She’s still using the thought processes of writing. The end result just isn’t words. It’s more like a comic put together by someone who didn’t have time to draw.

    Also, I like the fact that GIFs are popping up more and more in reviews/previews/interviews. There’s room for something between a screenshot and a video; sometimes you just need to see a little blast of gameplay. That’s not what’s in this article, of course, but I’m trying to say let’s not condemn a whole format based on its prevailing content, alright? I mean, if people thought that way, there’d be a huge social stigma around videoga … oh.

    • Siimon says:

      Actually, lets condemn the GIF format for video game stuff completely. Use screenshots, videos, or if you want short(ish) animated sequences in an article: Use HTML5!
      HTML5 > GIF because of QUALITY, because of file size, and because they are stoppable. It is extremely annoying trying to read an article when there are animations in the middle of it.

      To reiterate: I agree with “There‚Äôs room for something between a screenshot and a video; sometimes you just need to see a little blast of gameplay.” completely, just not with GIF :)

  22. twissler says:

    That sand king one made me laugh pretty hard. Now every time I see an epicenter, I’m going to think of that cat. Thanks for the fun post.

  23. P.Funk says:

    Lets not be ungenerous.

  24. Cerzi says:

    Thought I was clicking on a parody piece, but then when I realized it wasn’t…
    link to reactiongifs.com

  25. eggy toast says:

    Let me just say “lol” and you can pretend for yourself that it’s because I’m enjoying the jifs.

  26. leetrojan says:

    you forgot this one:

    13b. link to 9gag.com

  27. Malibu Stacey says:

    Can confirm #5 & #9 happen on a daily basis in my Dote’ing.

  28. mraston says:

    Hell yeah!

    More GIF lists please! Fuck reading.

  29. Wednesday says:

    #Gifgate

  30. simontifik says:

    I still have no desire to start playing DOTA but now I really need to find out what happened when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles met the Power Rangers!

  31. spamalot says:

    Loved these! I can totally relate, especially to #6, having just been whomped by Sand King. It was nice to get a little chuckle for my pain. Now off to read the rest of the series!