La Li Lu Le Ho Ho Ho: MGS 5 Ground Zeroes In December

The dreaded cybercyclops.

While we’ve been getting all excited about Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, as publishers Konami fling videos all over the place like so many guard-distracting nudie magazines, let’s not forget that its short standalone prologue Ground Zeroes hasn’t come out on PC yet. We still have a while to wait, but we do now have a Steam release date: December 18th. Konami also confirmed today that the PC version will look a little fancier than its its console counterparts.

Ground Zeroes’ PC port will support 4K resolutions, Konami say, and “will feature an increase in the number of simultaneous light sources, the number of models that can be displayed on-screen and increased shadow resolution.” More stuff, better lighting. Gotcha. Given the amount of time one spends lurking around shadows in sneak ’em ups, that’s a nice thing to touch on.

Though Metal Gear Solid 1 and 2 were ported to PC, Ground Zeroes wanders down the prequel part of the timeline that has only ever been on consoles. I’ve heard and seen such lovely things about Snake Eater and Peace Walker but never got to play them. I do hope Konami re-release the whole series on PC at some point, perhaps together in a nice bundle wrapped in shiny red paper tied with a big ribbon and bearing a name tag shaped like a snowman saying “To Alice, Merry Crimbo, Hideo x”.

The Phantom Pain is due in 2015, on consoles at least. Here’s an old look at Zeroes on Xbox One:


  1. SAeN says:

    You must have gotten something wrong Alice. Games don’t come out in 2014 anymore.

  2. Eight Rooks says:

    Given how much Kojima seems to like reissuing, remaking and bundling MGS games, Alice, I’m not sure your Christmas present is as much of a joke as you might be thinking. :)

    • welverin says:

      There’s one flaw there, they’re not particularly fond of porting them. It does happen, but less frequently.

  3. Geebs says:

    Dear Santa Kojima, I’ve been really really good this year; any chance you could throw Platinum a few bucks for another Rising game? Love, everybody.

    • subedii says:

      Preferably one that can decide whether it wants to be serious drama or screwball comedy crazy as opposed to suddenly clunking between the two.

      Oh and, “Nanomachines son”.

      • Eight Rooks says:

        Good luck with that. Have you… not played many MGS games before, or something?

        • subedii says:

          I have. Even MGS2 didn’t seem to go that far, and that had Raiden doing cartwheels ‘in the altogether’.

          I guess it kind of ground … whatever they were trying to do with a plot about child soldiers… to a halt with that drop-kick.

      • Gog Magog says:

        The disembodied child soldiers bit… that was the silly part.
        It’s surprising how interesting REVANGENING got for me when I decided to try and put together something that’s mad but coherent from it. What’s even more surprising is that Kojime actually wrote the game.

        You never know with that guy. All he ever makes is utter doggerel but then suddenly you catch a glimpse of sense appropriated from someone else that for a fleeting moment actually seems to fit.
        But then cyborg masturbation.

      • Geebs says:

        I genuinely think that Rising does a much better job of combining screwball comedy and serious social commentary than any of the more recent MGS games; to the extent where a political rant from one character results in another going, basically, ‘If you say so; please yourself (*mutters* dickhead)’, which, to be fair, is what the player is thinking most of the time in an MGS game.

        There’s also no particularly long codec conversations unless you really go looking for them, and most of the plot conversations are much better broken up by stuff randomly exploding, instead of the usual ‘mooks draw guns and then just stand there and wait for dude to stop monologuing and massacre them’ tripe.

        What I really want, though, is ridiculously quick swordfights with really cleverly designed bosses while bonkers guitar shred-ridden power metal, with lyrics exploring the boss’ political philosophy, plays in the background. Much better way to fit in the exposition, I think.

        • subedii says:

          I think a Metal Gear Rising 2 would have 2 fairly significant things in its favour:

          – The fact that it wouldn’t be a project that had to be restarted half-way after a change of studio and subsequent changes in direction.

          – Next gen hardware allowing the visuals and gameplay a bit more room to breathe (the ability to literally cut through more of the screen estate would be nice, alongside it actually staying around for more than a few seconds).

          The plot I expect will be an attempted social commentary on resurgent class structures in a world where the wealthy can be enhanced whilst the poor are only fit for the most menial of tasks.

          Ending in a slapstick comedy routine with dancing blackfaced robots or something.

          • Geebs says:

            Well… the child brains are a way of talking about brain-washing of child soldiers and a lot of the techniques that they’re subjected to are similar to those used in the real world.

            The ending suggests that it’s a good idea to try to re-integrate traumatised people and people with physical disabilities into society and give them the opportunity for self-determination, which is a pretty on-point message.

            The slapstick is mostly kept separate from the serious stuff, and they keep it pretty obvious that Raiden likes 1) slicing dudes up 2) explosions 3) power metal and 4) not paying much attention to politics and his own motivation within the game, which makes him the player’s avatar and allows the developers to gently mock their own audience without ever really getting mean about it.

  4. MrUnimport says:

    “La Li Lu Le”, actually.

  5. RaoulDuke says:

    Alice, we PC users should be forgiven our console follies as its not our “usual turf” but it’s “La Li Lu Le Lo” [and it’s pronounced Lah-Lee-Loo-Lay-Low].

    MGS-Geeking Ho!!!!!!

    edit – ^^^^^^ Sorry persons above/below, you are wrong, why doesn’t everyone share my insane love/obsession with MGS?!??

    link to

    edit2 – You rock, Alice

    • Alice O'Connor says:

      Blarf. It’s garbled enough without getting filtered through my horrible syllable-jumbling mess of a head. THANKS. Fixed.

    • Eight Rooks says:

      Dear person for whom English probably isn’t your first language – the “Ho ho ho” part is a joke, referring to what Santa is supposed to say at Christmas. Because the game’s coming out in time for Christmas. So it isn’t “wrong” as such, see? Hope that wasn’t too patronising.

      • RaoulDuke says:

        Welllllllllllll, I was born in Scotland and raised by english parents, and the title was a pun replacing the “Lo” of “La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo” with “Ho Ho Ho”, it wasn’t correct initially, but Alice changed it.

        I hope THAT wasn’t too patronising.

  6. Gog Magog says:

    The title made me laugh out loud like a fucking pleb. (or “Hoios Polloios” to borrow and bastardize and racially charge the term I recently learned reading Alice’s Rockpap posts)
    Even though I have to concur with MrUnimport, “La Li Lu Le Lo Ho Ho” would’ve worked also.

    Edit: and then it’s all fixed and my comment is in shambles


    • eggheaded says:

      You’re trying a little too hard friend. And “hoi polloi” is the correct term, it’s also a collective noun (like the well worn) “plebs”.

    • Damien Stark says:

      I agree, this may be my favorite RPS headline/title this year.
      Possibly even since “I Like Big Boats”

      Sincere congratulations Alice, quality title punning is a respected high art on RPS.

  7. Hex says:

    Are there any similar sites where the posters are as interested in the games they post about as the readership is?

  8. DanMan says:

    Fine. But I’m still not paying more then 20€ for this on release. That’s what Vanishing of Ethan Carter costs, and it lasts about as long.

    • Shadow says:

      I’m a bit scared to find out about the price. 2 hours of gameplay plus minor replayability can’t be worth more than 10 dollars, and that’s pushing it. But I get the feeling Kojima will push further, despite Ground Zeroes being essentially a paid demo. :/

      • welverin says:

        I’ve seen many people say they’ve put far more than two hours into this, and that there’s more to it than the people who complain about the length acknowledge or realize.

        • DelrueOfDetroit says:

          I got the PS3 version at only $20, no regrets as I played through it at least 5 or 6 times, and that’s without doing things like attempting speed runs or no kill runs. Don’t think I’d pay for it again just to see the fancy graphics I’ll get when Phantom Pain comes out.

  9. Synesthesia says:

    Grab a ps2 for pennies, play snake eater. Your unforgivable sin can still be mended. Chop chop!

    • welverin says:

      But, but the HD version! It even comes with 2 and Peace Walker (on PS3 and Xbox 360, but not on Vita).

      • Synesthesia says:

        I’m buying that right now. Never played peace walker. Thanks internet stranger!

        • rockman29 says:

          Peace Walker is a PSP port btw.

          Also these ports, by Bluepoint games, are amazingly good quality. The game transferred over is essentially perfect. They also did the SOTC/ICO port for PS3.

          The only drawback against the original version (MGS HD is based off of Substance and Subsistence versions of MGS2 and MGS3) is that it is missing a few modes. I don’t think there is Snake vs. Monkey and the boss battle marathon mode is missing.

          Also it does not contain MGO, a cult favourite, but that is not supported anymore by Konami for MGS3 or MGS4 sadly anyway. So this last part really doesn’t matter :P

    • Javier says:

      Grab the HD version if you can. Oh, and you cannot even compare Snake Eater with Portable Ops. Snake Eater is the best entry in the canonical series. Peace Walker is saved by Portable Ops from being the worst IMHO. As a portable game though, I guess it is pretty good.

    • RARARA says:

      Snake Eater? No, I don’t want the exercise in frustration that is the fixed camera angle.

      Subsistence all the way, baby.

      • Synesthesia says:

        I’ve heard about the camera issues. I played both, and luckily found no problem with camera angles. Having grown on RE2 and silent hill i guess i developed antibodies. I loved those fixed shots.

        • RARARA says:

          My main issue was spotting guards in the distance while my camera was facing towards the ground, especially when guards could see you from quite far away.

          I’m a grubblin’ though – not used to older games.

  10. DrManhatten says:

    Awesome! nuff said

  11. Bull0 says:

    Yeah, don’t bother with it though, it’s a £20 demo. Save the money for the full game. Also, RPS is going to hate Quiet, if they haven’t posted about her already (female companion character who doesn’t speak and literally wears just underwear to battle… hmm…)

  12. Josh W says:

    I’ve missed a few of the recent metal gear games, but this feels strangely splinter cell, with a hint of deus ex HR. I think little things like putting you outside the area and having you scout it out before infiltrating do this, as well as the use of third person camera scouting rather than the old overhead view.

  13. KenTWOu says:

    Given the amount of time one spends lurking around shadows in sneak ‘em ups, that’s a nice thing to touch on.

    I’ve thought MGS5 doesn’t use shadow based stealth.

  14. Low Life says:

    The headline is amazing.

    I’m surprisingly excited about this and MGSV. I hadn’t played an MGS game before this year, and I tried playing MGS1 but it was a bit frustrating so I ended up just watching a playthrough. However I really liked the the concepts and silly story so I played through MGS2 and am now playing Snake Eater. I’ll have to skip MGS4 since I don’t have anything I could play it on, but I’ll definitely grab this on release.