Cock A New Deal Do: Digital Extremes Owned By Chickens

Digital Extremes, developers of The Darkness 2 and Warframe (about which we have an interview later today), is now majority owned by a chicken meat manufacturer.

No, really.

News wings its way toward us from GI.biz that the company is cock of the walk having sold off a clutch of its shares, with 58% heading to Sumpo Food Holdings – a Chinese agricultural company that describes itself as “one of the well-known chicken meat products suppliers in Fujian and we sell our chicken meat products under the ‘(Sumpo)’ brand.” A poultry 3% went to Perfect World.

Sumpo scratched together the breast part of $73.2m, making it absolutely chanticleer that the business believes their games have legs. Hatching the scheme to make plump profits, Digital Eggstremes CEO James Schmalz crowed how this would allow them to make Warframe reach its absolute beak.

Some have cried fowl over whether a chicken meat company is the ideal partner to roost Digital Extreme’s profile, wondering wither DE have cracked, but the company appears to see it as a feather in their cap, and a wishbone come true. “This partnership will further empower us to continue making Warframe bigger and better with full control over its destiny,” Schmalz said, believing the deal will pullet toward new horizhens.

I’d play more Warframe, but when it comes to multiplayer I’m a bad heeler.

73 Comments

Top comments

  1. shinygerbil says:

    As far as pun-filled articles go, this is a coop de grass.
  1. Stijn says:

    I can just imagine John cackling maniacally while writing all these puns.

  2. Talkie Toaster says:

    TMWRNJ!?

    • Lacero says:

      Eggstreme! Like egg! Like a birds egg!

      He’s punning, ing is like wing! Like a birds wing!

      • felsenmeer says:

        he’s punning, but tell me, who is the real criminal here? is it John Walker, with his over-abundance of chicken puns, or is it… “the businessman”… in his suit and tie?

    • Premium User Badge

      John Walker says:

      I nod to it in the sub headline in the news box top right : )

  3. Rao Dao Zao says:

    You’ve literally used up all the puns. Did you plan that or just wing it?

    • Premium User Badge

      Adam Smith says:

      We had to put a capon the number of puns John was allowed. He didn’t have the gallus to use the lot.

      • InnerPartisan says:

        Yeah, he clearly chickened out.

        • Premium User Badge

          Skabooga says:

          I’m sure he feels rather henpecked by all these restrictions and accusations. One would almost think you were going to bantam from writing future articles.

      • shinygerbil says:

        While writing this article he really tried his best to fillet with puns, but there are always more to be found if you comb through.

      • Everblue says:

        CHICKENS!

        (Am I doing this right?)

  4. Premium User Badge

    Earl-Grey says:

    My god, it’s full of puns!

  5. Anthile says:

    Wow, way to hog all the puns like…like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. Hah, still got one! Sort of.

    • Melody says:

      I’d like to contribute a pun, but the last time I tried I really henbarrassed myself ;_;

  6. Caerphoto says:

    Would this be one time that it’s appropriate to say…

    COCKFACE

    ?

  7. gnodab says:

    Ember Prime confirmed!

    Man I haven’t played in a while, sorry RockPaperSkana.
    I need more time in a day, so that I can complete my rooster.

  8. Tekrunner says:

    2014 will forever be remembered as the year that saw the rise of the poultrydollar.

  9. All is Well says:

    Never before have I had trouble parsing a text because of puns, but the sheer amount of them in this… I can’t decide whether I enjoyed it or if I think John simply cocked up.

  10. Surlywombat says:

    Can’t decide if this article is good or a lot of wattle.

  11. VladVoivode says:

    Considering the cruel trade in China of rounding up dogs, cramming them into cages to the point where dogs cannot MOVE and considering its actions in Tibet as well as human rights violations within its own borders, I cannot support this company or any of its games as they will be developed literally with blood money. No thank you.

    • SomeDuder says:

      haha omg what

    • Melody says:

      As opposed to the very humane treatments farm animals receive in the west?

      • Artist says:

        You cant relate that to what the chinese do to animals. Its the CHINESE! Recognize the difference!

      • VladVoivode says:

        Melody, I am a strict vegan. If this was Tyson Chicken, I would have stated the same thing.

        To the person who is incredulous about the treatment of dogs in the industry in China, I would post a few videos but I highly doubt RPS would want such graphic content on their site. DO a bit of a search and learn please?

        Best to all,

        Vlad

        • pepperfez says:

          I think the problem people have is that you started off talking about Chinese eating dogs, which smacks of a whole bunch of yellow-peril racist stereotypes, when the cruelty of industrial poultry farming everywhere is outrageous enough.
          To be clear, I’m not accusing you of race baiting, and I totally respect a desire to keep your money as far away from industrial farming as possible. I’m just noting how I think your point got lost.

        • Melody says:

          What pepperfez said. I’m vegetarian and I’ve been vegan, I understand and share your desire to not want to give money to a company that is cruel to animals, but you immediately went off talking about China, and dogs, and Tibet, and blood money, as if a simple food company was responsible for whatever the Chinese government does.

          (Which may very well be true, if they financed certain politicians or lobbied for certain policies or whatever, but it requires a bit more proof to link the two than just “being chinese”, otherwise, by your account, every single Chinese person would be scum)

    • Tom De Roeck says:

      How about you stop using a computer or cellphone of any kind, since they are literally made with the blood of a million workers?

      • Premium User Badge

        Harlander says:

        Wait, literally? I mean, I can hold my phone in my hand, I’d have thought the blood of a million workers, even dessicated, would take up a bit more space…

        Oh, wait, with, not from.

      • Anthile says:

        Oh come on, they don’t even use the whole workers?

  12. YogSo says:

    Alright John, I must commend you four the use of an Excalibur with Pendragon helmet in that pose for the top image, but you really missed a trick there by not using an image of Ember or, as she’s affectionately known as within the Warframe community, the “chicken frame”.

  13. Wyrm says:

    That’s so strange and disturbing I feel I have no choice but to delete warframe from my hard drive immediately.

  14. shinygerbil says:

    As far as pun-filled articles go, this is a coop de grass.

  15. felsenmeer says:

    I don’t wanna cast aspersions on the many kind and benevolent multinational chicken-overlords that rule poultry production around the world, but this happened to a football team (Blackburn Rovers) who were bought out by chicken-people and the results have been, to say the least, atrocious: terrible levels of investment, mismanagement at senior levels, interference from the board. The only positive thing to come out of it was this advert which i’ll admit continues to be sensational in all respects: link to youtube.com

  16. Phenomen says:

    Forget Phreak. John Walker is the new God of Puns.

  17. Laurentius says:

    These are strange financial macHENations indeed.

  18. Cockie says:

    This is the best thing I will have read this year. It got me all eggcited!

  19. Caerphoto says:

    Perhaps their next game could have an anime style, and be aimed at adults.

  20. tanstaafl says:

    I figured you would chicken out before finishing, but you managed to pullet off.

  21. bilstar says:

    *thunderous applause!!*

  22. Krazen says:

    I was eggspecting a roll-over comment on that image. Something like “There’s nobody here but us chickens”.

  23. Humble_Beest says:

    This is why I love RPS! Thank you John. A most egg-cellent article.

  24. Premium User Badge

    Earl-Grey says:

    Let’s not loose track of the crowning achievment here; we now have a “Sumpo Food Holdings” tag.

  25. Flavour Beans says:

    It’s the ability to bust out an article like this that helps you find your way up the pecking order at RPS. As for the company itself, I’d tried Warframe once before, and it didn’t really cluck with me.

  26. DizzyCriminal says:

    I’m disappointed, a serious article about chickens and all you do fillet full of puns.
    This site is a hollow shell of what it was.

  27. An Atheist Jew says:

    This is the best article of the whole year.

  28. Distec says:

    Didn’t the Warframe community say this was essentially the death of the game when first rumored?

    • Ross Angus says:

      That would seem to be a bit hasty: they shouldn’t count their chickens before they’re hatched.

  29. Molay says:

    I really love your style of writing, John Walker. You just made my day :-)

  30. Fitzmogwai says:

    I can only assume that I’ve died and awoken in Hell.

  31. Eggman says:

    Los Pollos Hermanos… welcome to the money-laundering business ;).

  32. Joey Fudgepants says:

    You neglected to follow through with an obvious Schmalz = schmaltz joke.

    Your pun game is slipping, RPS.

  33. GrandSirThebus says:

    Wish it would allow them to stop what’s forcing them to make the game grindy. Unless of course they intended to game to be that way, to which I would say unsavory things to them.

    • Bassem says:

      It’s a free-to-play game. Grind comes with the package, I guess.

  34. ssh83 says:

    Eggcellent article.

  35. SoupDuJour says:

    Madre de Dios! Es el Pollo Diablo!
    Si, he dejado en libertad los prisoneros y ahora vengo por ti!