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Toast In The Machine: I Am Bread

I Am Bread’s trailer trundled onto the internet in a miniature clown car, putt-putting toward the big top of YouTube, coughing smoke rings from its tiny exhaust pipe. How the crowds guffawed when the doors clattered to the ground and a lanky harlequin struggled out of the driver’s seat, his oversized shoes flip-flopping against the steering wheel and sending gasping honks out into the atmosphere. And tears streamed down the cheeks of every man, woman and child as they collapsed in hysterics when the passengers spilled out onto the sawdust scattered across the floor. THEY WERE SLICES OF BREAD! THE PASSENGERS WERE SLICES OF BREAD!

I Am Bread is a game from Surgeon Simulator creators Bossa in which you will control a slice of bread, with the uncanny ability to grip surfaces in the style of an Octodad, as you attempt to become toast. Of course, you’ll also fall into toilets (CHORTLE), smash eggs (SNIGGER), hang from the ceiling (WHOOP) and wield a knife (ROAR)! Obviously, make sure not to stick the knife in the toaster, unless you’re as tired of zany simulator games as I am.

To be fair to I Am Bread, there does seem to be a decent game behind the concept and at least it isn’t called Bread Simulator. Or Loafin’ About. Or Slice Of Life. Or My Own Private IdaDough. Or The Wheat Goes On. Or Crust For Life. Or [SNIP – ed]

While Adam recovers, please do look at Video Game Bread for all your video game bread needs.

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Adam Smith

former Deputy Editor

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