No Assassin’s Creed Unity Review From Us Because…

AssBro denied

…Well, primarily because we didn’t receive code until today. It seems some multi-format sites have had console versions ahead of release, but no dice in PC-land, at least not here. Though folk in the US have been able to buy the game since 12am. Maybe I should have moved to America and pulled an all-nighter just for this.

Whether this is related to various reports today that Ubisoft jumpy-stabby sequel has a number of performance issues, particularly with regard to framefrate drops and pop-in, we can’t know. Just wanted to tell you why we won’t be holding forth one way or another for a few days yet, basically.

Edit: game is now running. Technical thoughts tomorrow morning, technically.

We’re also not in a position to let you know first-hand whether the PC version suffers from said issues, as it crashes on startup on our reviewer’s system. We’re trying to get this resolved (currently all 42GB is downloading for a second time), and hope to have some preliminary word-thinks for you tomorrow.

We’ll also note at this point that Assassin’s Creed Unity’s review embargo was set for 12 hours after the game had launched in the US. Expect to see some reviews crop up soon after 5pm UK time today, but ours won’t be among them. Waaah it’s not fair etc, etc, etc videogames.


  1. Hex says:

    Ah ha ha ha ha that’s pretty funny. Though, fortunately, my favorite parts of RPS are the bits that don’t involve AAA reviews, typically.

  2. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    Not to worry, it’s an Assassin’s Creed game, I think we know what to expect.
    Why not review something more interesting?

    • Premium User Badge

      Lexx87 says:

      Have you played Black Flag? It was the best game I’ve played this year – it’s basically a Pirate game and is great.

      The AssCreed future world parts are shite of course, but sailing the seas was fucking wonderful.

      • Eightball says:

        I would’ve bought multiple copies if they:

        > eliminated all the assassin bits except the fortress battles
        > greatly expanded the distance between things at sea

        Being a pirate was great, but there were still large parts of it that managed to be claustrophobic.

      • hjarg says:

        You know, it was good. But not great. Even the sea combat became really repititive, there were only a few ship types, when boarding, i always prayed that “please don’t make me take the enemy flag”, cause that was tedious etc etc.
        It was fun when you took the ship first time. It was much less fun when you did it on 50th time.

      • Premium User Badge

        phuzz says:

        I did play Black Flag, and it was the first AssCreed game I’d ever played, but somehow it made me feel like I’d played all of them.
        I did enjoy being a pirate though, and singing sea shanties (I played it with a flatmate last christmas, so I was mostly drunk).

  3. Freud says:

    Here’s my review (based on not playing): It’s very Assassin’s Creedy.

    • Makariel says:

      As of lait I baguette the impression it’s more of the Seine.

      • Bury The Hammer says:

        That was a beret cheap way of getting in some puns, there.

  4. Sp4rkR4t says:

    My review: Who cares, lets talk about Just Cause 3.

  5. Rao Dao Zao says:

    So you’d say not getting review code is a pain in the ass?

  6. Deano2099 says:

    Any chance of a guide as to what version to buy? I swear it’s the only game I’m tempted to pirate every year just to avoid having to spend the time working out what I need to buy to get everything.

  7. Sam says:

    Meanwhile, hype-building Let’s Play videos have been allowed for several days. Almost certainly under the condition that they don’t make negative comments about the game. Although we don’t know that for sure, at best it’s “thanks to Ubisoft for letting us make this video.”

    Actually it’s about ethical issues in diverse non-review media that nonetheless influence buying behaviour and raise a mass of unclear and complex issues.

    For what it’s worth, I notice quite a bit of LoD popping during crowd scenes, occasional game stutters, and astonishingly low resolution faces in the videos. Haven’t watched much though, and don’t even know if it’s XBone or PC footage.

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      YouTubers are going to be the dominant part of the near future, as they already are since some time.

      * BRB, cutting veins *

      Ok, now the blood is spilling. Where was i… Oh! yes… we can’t really do much about it as long as your Average Joe still thinks that they are ” people like us “, and it’s even worse if you consider that they catered to the astoundingly high percentage of individuals that just can’t be bothered to read anything, let alone on the interwebz because monitors are shiny and flickery and ” The good old days of papers are gone “, ignoring the fact that such people didn’t read even then.

      Don’t get me started on the slow and painful pacing of some videos.

      Oh aaaannmò—87, Crap. Blood on the keyboard. Bye.

      • GameCat says:

        You can easily skip every youtube video that isn’t a music to a 0:40 seconds mark and miss literally nothing.

        • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

          Well, that’s for sure, but some authors have the horrible habit of going slooooowly through every little useless piece, stumbling continuosly, being annoying in general and so on.

          What i’m actually trying to say is that, while the video format clearly has huge advantages, there are some things that just don’t work as good as reading at your own pace.

        • nemryn says:

          Let me tell you about the Wadsworth Constant.

      • KDR_11k says:

        Seemingly normal people with an audience getting bribes (or just free “samples”) from companies to stealthily advertise stuff is pretty much why the FTC added those mommy blogger rules in the first place so youtubers can’t excuse it with “we’re not reviewers so we don’t need to disclose” either.

    • Big Murray says:

      Yup … corruption among YouTubers is pretty rife. It’s mutually beneficial. The companies get good press for their game, and the YouTubers get a crapton of views and subscribers for being able to show the game first.

      And where’s GamerGate while this is happening? Doing bugger all while still pretending to be about corruption in games journalism.

      • drinniol says:

        It’s only corruption if they can make a claim to being journalists, otherwise it’s just viral marketing of sorts.

      • SuicideKing says:

        No! Don’t invoke the horde of horrors!

  8. Ace Rimmer says:

    But … I was looking forward to collecting all the reviews! Then I guess I’d climb a tower or something.

  9. The Sombrero Kid says:

    I just have up my 5 year ubisoft boycott, long enough to buy black flag, far cry 3 & rayman legends. Their recent behaviour has proven that a mistake. No more money from me.

    • DerekG says:

      At least you got the best games of the bunch.

      By the time RPS gets through the framerate issues, the microtransactions on a $60+ game, and the fact you have to install an app on your phone just to open some chests, you’ll feel justified in your decision.

      I still hope for a decent Far Cry 4, but I won’t preorder.

  10. Neurotic says:

    42 Gb for an Ass Creed! GTA V will be around 50. Is AC really worth it??

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      The irony is that i moved from a 120gb SDD to a 500-ish one in order to fit more games in.

      Guess what, i can fit exactly the same amount now.

    • Asurmen says:

      Is it me, or have game’s install sizes leapt up this past year?

  11. Turkey says:

    I just want to know how many levels and enemy types there are.

    • Michael Fogg says:

      Enemy types? My guess is: the regular one, the fast one, the buff one. The shooty one?

  12. NotToBeLiked says:

    It seems even the console versions are buggy and can’t get the framerate steady at 30fps. If they couldn’t even get those versions finished properly, in what state do you think the PC version (Ubisofts favourite platform!) is?

    • DanMan says:

      That’s the thing with aiming low from the start. If you miss your target, it becomes even worse.

    • TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

      The performance issues on consoles are not necessarily ( but might be ) related to them not finishing their work, but even just them being a little too confident on what could be done. The performance gap between the PS4 and Xbone makes their optimism even more baffling, as they have to adjust for the weaker one.

      That myth about huge power due to low latency will soon disappear, as it works in theory but there still is a serious lack of horsepower regardless, which is still the biggest factor no matter how they twist it.

      Let’s rejoice in the fact that after this mess they’ll have completely lost the chance to convince people that 30fps as an artistical choice actually looks good, especially if 30fps is not a stable average but a fleeting maximum. The comparisons will totally make that clear even to the most stubborn supporters of the “scientific” theory of the human eyes limitation.

    • aepervius says:

      Going by the overwhelming number of user feedback (I don’t call them review) reporting a lot of problem, from low fps, small option menu, flickering, falling in the geometry, mouse acceleration problems etc…etc… The steam user review page is a sea of red. The blue review (positive) have a “10 out 16 people found that useful” or something, while the negative one have a “1450 out 1600 people found that useful” feedback.

      I think i will patiently wait a few month to see what’s the gamer verdict.

  13. ffordesoon says:

    After Mordor (or, as a friend and I have been calling it, Assassin’s Creed But Good), I find myself unable to care all that much. Ubisoft should be fucking embarrassed that an insanely derivative licensed game from a wildly inconsistent developer made their “next-gen soft reboot” offering look like the missed opportunity it is.

    • mechabuddha says:

      Wholeheartedly agree. Mordor is everything I wanted from an Assassin’s Creed game. I don’t want scripted assassination attempts. I want an assassin’s sandbox with diverse toolsets.

      • ffordesoon says:

        Not that I disagree (lord knows I like my sandbox assassination games), but I’d settle for an AC game that knew what the hell it wanted to be at this point. For example, a well-scripted set of assassination missions. Or a pirate simulator. Or a home-decorating game. Or a stealth game. Or a tailing-people game.

        (Well, maybe not that last one.)

        My point is that Mordor works because it knows exactly what it’s trying to do and does it superbly. There hasn’t been one AC game you could say that about in the history of the series. Even the more focused first game still felt half-finished and sloppy, like a paid demo for a then-hypothetical AC2.

    • DanMan says:

      Monolith does a pretty good job usually. link to

      • skyturnedred says:

        I wish someone at Monolith would play the first FEAR again and realize why it is the best shooter ever made. And then make a worthy sequel.

        • Kaeoschassis says:

          Good lord yes.

        • XhomeB says:

          There’s only one way to make a decent sequel to FEAR – keep everything the original did right (glorious particle effects, the feel and power of the weapons, great AI), only fix the bloody level design, which was ATROCIOUS in every possible way (linear, boring, repetitive, bland. Horrible, just horrible).

          Also, forget that FEAR 2-3 existed.

          • Kaeoschassis says:

            I didn’t find the levels especially linear and I certainly didn’t find them bland. I’ll agree they’re probably its weakest component though, and the one most open to being improved with modern tech. As I recall the smaller nature of the levels was a tech constraint.

      • ffordesoon says:

        I guess you’re right. Looking at that list, the hit-miss ratio is weighted slightly in favor of hits, and the misses aren’t complete garbage as a rule, just lame. I suppose I’m thinking of their more recent work, which has been uninteresting at best.

        They are weirdly inconsistent, though, and always have been, especially when it comes to sequels. It’s a trend that goes all the way back to Blood 2, with only NOLF 2 bucking it. I’d love to take a peek behind the scenes and see why that is, because they’ve always been one of those mid-tier devs that never quite made it to the top tier. At least, that’s how I classify them in my mind.

  14. frosty2oo2 says:

    i’ll just leave this here

  15. Jac says:

    Is there a Dragon age WIT in the pipeline at least?


    A good idea to post this, since if I see RPS taking their time to review a big AAA game I genuinely think they’re just dismissing it.

    Will you WIT Valkyria Chronicles?

  17. ulix says:

    If the game is not even running properly on consoles I’m guessing these ridiculous system requirements were accurate?

    My trusty 2500k is supposed to be the minimum requirement, and my 560 ti not even up to scratch? It’s ridiculous, for the processor requirement especially.

  18. padger says:

    Actually more interested in the Dragon Age review… But since the rest of the internet has already confirmed it’s good, I am really hoping for a detailed RPS playthrough. Maybe someone could liveblog it? Or is that just silly?

  19. Robmonster says:

    So how does a review embargo work anyway? What happens if someone posts a review early?

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Then the next time that publisher has an upcoming game, you don’t get a copy.