Saturday Morning Cartoons: This Is EVE


Hello again you! It’s 9 o’clock on Saturday morning and you’re reading Rock, Paper, Shotgun, so you know what that means: cartoon time! This week we’ve got a cracker for you, a blast of action and drama from the world of EVE Online. So go on, grab a bowl of Coco Pops, pour yourself a glass of Sunny D, shut your dad out the room, and prepare to blast off.

‘This is EVE’ is CCP’s latest attempt to capture what EVE Online “feels like”, because what it actually looks like is so baffling to the uninformed observer. You miss all the drama and nuance in videos of menus. It was based on voice comm clips solicited from players, which EVE’s cinematic team then spun out into this wonderful episode.

It comes shortly ahead of EVE’s Rhea update, which will bring new things include direct keyboard flight controls on December 9th. Yes, they do sound more like fluff than genuinely practical, but small moments of steering a ship might help make EVE feel a lot more real. I’ve always found it quite abstract, not very spaceship-y, because controlling everything through menus and clicks isn’t what I expect of a game about flying rad spaceships.


  1. mukuste says:

    To this day, I have no idea what people actually *do* while they are playing EVE. It seems intriguing, but utterly impenetrable.

    • Halk says:

      Pretty hard to answer what people really do in eve since you can many different things.
      This trailer is nice and all with its visuals and yeah those are eve game graphics. But you dont see that in the middle of those epic battles. You usually have a tactical overview like this:
      link to

      You play eve more like a spaceship commander when you are doing combat.
      Heres a more realistic video with some explanations whats happening:

      But its also true that the fights usually are only a small part of the overall eve experience.
      Here is a older video of an uncut longer fight with comms from my corp:

    • Generico says:

      Most of the actual time spent playing EVE is divided between traveling from one place to another, and doing some sort of personal or corp (guild) related logistics task; many of which involve a spreadsheet or 4. The trailer is just picking out sound bites from various player videos and overlaying it on footage that’s not actually representative of what you see when you’re playing the game. If you want to see what the game actually looks like, just go to youtube and do some searching.

      The trailer – aside from the visuals – is representative of large scale fleet combat, which is by far the least common type of PvP in the game. Most PvP is solo or small gang PvP that happens near the gates that are used to move to other star systems, and is generally far less interesting to read about.

      As far as what the game actually is, its mechanics are pretty much identical to any other MMO from around 2004. Which is to say, click on a target, click on an ability of your character (or ship in this case) and wait. There’s some player skill involved with maneuvering your ship to stay in the optimal position for your weapons to work, but your ability to do that will be mostly determined by the difference between your ship’s type and fitting vs the opponents, and not by the player’s actual skill in controlling the ship.

      The trailer also doesn’t inform you that most of the game’s PvE is horrendously repetitive and boring, even by MMO standards.

      Now, to be fair, CCP has begun a more rapid development cycle for the game recently, and so far it’s been hugely beneficial. Hopefully they will continue in this positive direction, especially in their efforts to make the game more accessible without dumbing it down. But the fact remains that if you’re not playing with friends, or you don’t join a large corp that can basically pay for all your equipment, you’ll probably get bored or frustrated with the game before the first month is over.

      CCP is – as ever – very good at making trailers that portray what they wish EVE was, but not the way it actually is for the huge majority of players.

  2. Melody says:

    Around 0:55, the guy who says “Don’t worry about that” sounds an awful lot like Nathan Grayson :D

    • RegisteredUser says:

      I’ve actually wondered throughout if they actually paid some people to do voices and arranged situations, or if they simply spent a long, long time picking through applications and user submissions until they were left with only the ones that sounded good enough.
      I dare say the video is not entirely representative of the average voices and narrative in voice comms.

      • Batolemaeus says:

        The only ones that I don’t know the source for is the clip of the explorer hunted by pirates and the miner.

        Everything else I’ve seen from videos, or was there when it happened. The part where Nulli Secunda is shown is from the Fountain War last year iirc, FC is progodlegend.

        • cosmitz says:

          WingspanTT is a new-ish player, made quite a stir and is very active on youtube: link to

          • Honsou says:

            I’ve been apart of ops that sound like this.

            Lots of stupid talk, derpin etc. Once we are in an unsaid “operational mode”, it gets quiet and very serious, intently listening, terrified you might miss something from your OP’s leader and make a fool of yourself.

            Saying that, I can imagine a newbie logging in and just getting totally bewildered. Its well worth it though, Eve is massive and you will probably fall into your own comfort, be it pve, pvp, mining, trading etc.

      • cosmitz says:

        Nope. All were real players in real situations on real comms.

      • Kala says:

        Actually, it sounds a lot like on teamspeak when I used to play (cept less echoey).

        There’s a lot of tomfoolery a lot of the time, as quite a lot of time is basically spent waiting around, or shuffling about from system to system before a fight actually starts. But when it does? That sounds about right. There’s a fleet commander, and for the most part, when they talk you listen. They call targets (primaries) and explain what’s going on.

        Even when I was just messing in my corp, it was kinda similar. I remember a time when people said “Everyone got that?” and everyone said “yeah”…except me: “…No?” “Kala…? You don’t understand what’s going on?” Then I had to admit I hadn’t been listening :(

  3. Deadly Habit says:

    So close to getting me back into my online crack addiciton. EVE is an evil addiciton.

    • Doganpc says:

      Every now and then I think about that EVE steam bundle and maybe trying the game out for a while. Then I find a nifty action packed video like this and call it good. I know I’ll never put enough time/money/effort into the game to get moments like that, so I might as well watch someone else do the work while I enjoy watching it with my beverage of choice.

      • wikidd says:

        You can get involved with Brave Newbies pretty much straight away. There’s also Red v Blue. For a true newbie, it’s probably best to start with EVE Uni though (although I never actually went through them). That’s three good organisations that can get new players into fun fleets just about as soon as you’re in space.

    • Veles says:

      Yeah, I keep thinking about going back and this makes me really want to. I never go to experience this kind of thing on eve but I still really liked it. Tried logging into my account the other day but I really can’t remember any of my details. Not fond of the idea of starting from scratch again (although I kind of am actually). Fondest memory I have of eve is learning the ropes, which I think I would need to again

  4. Ignis says:

    Jesus I lost three full years of life to this game. EVE is so addicting. This trailer makes me want to come back, damn I was so stupid to sell my 80-90mil SP characters. I want to go back!

  5. RegisteredUser says:

    Hugely false advertising, given that 90% of the time is spent is waiting real world days for anything to do anything(totally not related to milking monthly subs) and juggling around in those tiny excerpts of the “excel sheet nightmare” that they only briefly showed in the video.
    The actually “zomg epic squad wars in space” game that they pretend it is actually WOULD be cool to have exist. Its just that it for the much largest part is NOT EVE.
    Its a tiny fraction of it, the rest is leveling, grind and paying through your nose for those brief flashes of space epicness.

    Where’s the great streamliner that takes the best and gets rid of the worst and makes it a real Red Orchestra 2 in space with more functional than tedious ship management and upgrading?

    • Ignis says:

      This is somewhat true. I used to spent most of my time ship-spinning, EFT-warrioring, grinding trough pirate missions/anomalies, and then – just then, sometimes there were fleets and ops organized. The best time was war time when CFC (my block) went to kick some ass and we had daily battles. Bu apart from that, yeah, there is a lot of sitting on your ass in this game. But still, I loved it. After some time my corp left the CFC and we went to Curse – small gang pvp mas the best time of my life there, it was so fun to pick a fight on every gate, in every system.

      • DeVadder says:

        I got to admit, i find it kind of odd indeed that most people who give complains like these often are the same people who look down on lowsec and small gang people as meaningless. It seems quite obvious that you can either have huge meaningfull battles but less of them (otherwise they would hardly be meaningfull) or more less important fights, likely involving much cheaper ships (afterall, you cannot afford to constantly use and risk expensive ships without spending a lot of time earning new ones, seeing how that is what expensive means).

    • Commander Gun says:

      This is exactly why it appealed to me (back when i had a lot more time).
      The tension that builds up to a fight, the unpredictability of how the fight goes (there’s always a chance you are being baited), the discipline gamers in the same squad have by just carrying out orders instead of questioning them in the heat of battle, the comrady. Man, good times :)

    • Ross Angus says:

      I’m sure you have a point (I know very little about EVE), but does this video represent the sorts of things your remember about the game?

      • Batolemaeus says:

        Well, as a bitter old vet, the trailer captures perfectly the emotions and feel of what makes people log in and play.

      • Pockets says:

        It’s like the memories of someone with some very rose tinted specs, so yeah, it’s more accurate than most games’ trailers.

        Obviously in reality there’s a lot more sitting around waiting, lots of going and buying some new items then shipping them half way across the galaxy, plenty of times where you can’t get a good fight and the PVE combat is terrible yet sometimes needed to grind up some more cash – but the times when it’s good are pretty similar to the trailer.

    • cosmitz says:

      That’s what makes Eve combat so thrilling. Do you break a sweat or even bother to pull yourself upright in a match of Call of Duty, World of Tanks or whatever quick-fix of mild action you can find? No you don’t, since it doesn’t matter, in seconds you’re back in the battle, nothing lost.

      In Eve, the build up, the anticipation, the preparation and the excitement pays off in spades to hype up the battle that you’ll be joining in, or even better, the one you don’t know you’ll be joining.

      In the end, do you remember the 90% or the 10%? Around the watercooler at work, does the guy that play Eve talk about the times where he sat in station not doing anything or the times where insane shit happened?

      Tl;dr, don’t stuff your face with candy and then complain it starts to taste bland.

    • Kala says:

      Not false advertising at all. As Alice said, it’s an attempt to capture the spirit of the thing, which it does.

      Yes, the menus and the overlays look different, and make things seem more abstracted. But when you’re in the thick of things, it feels as portrayed. Always very intense. (The guy who said his heart was pounding or something? My hands have literally shook from the adrenaline in a big battle)

      And yes, it is focusing on the exciting moments rather than all the time waiting around for it to happen. But that doesn’t mean the exciting moments are not a major part of the game (and often the reason why you’ve been waiting around), don’t exist and shouldn’t be represented.

      • Stellar Duck says:

        Hell, my hands have been shaking from low sec brawling in destroyers. It’s a thrill every time, no matter the size.

        • Kala says:

          True! Wasn’t being a size queen, the combat is always exciting :)

          I only brought it up just a personal example. (and, I guess, there seemed more on the line. if I die, I weigh the losses and can mostly chalk it up. having other people depending on you though, and shit’s going down south fast, and everyones barking orders and omgomg what am I doing what’s going on :P where am I, and where are my pants)

    • Kala says:


      “Its a tiny fraction of it, the rest is leveling, grind and paying through your nose for those brief flashes of space epicness.”

      …we must have been playing entirely different games, then. As I didn’t level or grind, the skills just trained in the background while I actually *played the game*.

    • Apocalypse says:

      Outside of the porn, lolcats and tumblr images in chat when waiting for something happening this video shows exactly how it when you fly with bombers bar. And you can fly more or less every evening with them without problems.

      Same goes for other player communities. The crux is that you need to be part of the community to enjoy the game. EVE is build around multiplier and around goals of community which collide with each others.

      Sure you can just farm 24/7 solo too, but than you are literally doing it wrong for the most part.

  6. Stellar Duck says:

    Stop this!

    I’m trying to quit this damned game!

  7. Afoxi says:

    The short time i played EVE in a corporation, this is what conversations that matter sound like.

    During downtimes when our stealth bomber squadron was just sitting idle however, conversations degenerate into really really strange topics, which was fine since we got our adrenaline fixes often enough anyway.

  8. schlusenbach says:

    I have no idea if this is a good representation of what happens in Eve, but this is a fantastic trailer. The most interesting game I will never play.

    • cosmitz says:

      All the situations and the comms in the video are 100% authentic and real. Some are recreations to illustrate, but everything you see in that video happens in the game.

    • aleander says:

      The comms chatter sounds legit, but hugely edited. Mostly because including real chatter would move the community from “cool guys” to “enormous creeptards”, due to the fact that rape jokes achieved a status of professional language in that game.

      So it’s essentially what has driven me out of the game, but sanitized to the point where it appears appealing. Oh, also, they forgot to include 5h of waiting and listening to either a teenager complaining about women or a 40yo doing the same.

      • Distec says:

        That’s unfortunate. In my years playing, I’ve never encountered what you describe.

        • aleander says:

          I’m not sure how you can play EVE for years and not encounter the term “rapecage”, or a bunch of goons on a roll. I’ve actually been in one of the corps with a policy against certain behaviors, but if something’s used as a common slang, you at least have to mention that others (“pretty much everyone else”) use the term.

          • Kala says:

            I left before goonfleet came in, so there’s that :P
            there was, in my day, plenty of “let’s rape their ships” etc in the general lexicon…
            but, as a rule, I didn’t find it a hostile environment towards women. But I may well have been very lucky with my social groups.
            (and, as stated, the user base at that point was a lot smaller anyways)

          • Distec says:

            I should have been more specific. Yes, I have heard the term “rapecage” in Eve, as well as some corresponding blowback on comms. It does seem to be very dependent on your corp environment. BNI doesn’t really talk the same way TEST does, and they’re both part of the HERO coalition. E-UNI doesn’t tolerate it. And I’ve never been in Goonswarm. My exposure to rape references has been no worse than any other online game.

            I was referring to the “complaining about women” bit. I have truly not encountered that in any chat or fleet I’ve been in. Like Kala, I’ve never found it to be a game unwelcome to women, despite the player statistics on gender disparity. I used to hear them quite frequently.

          • aleander says:

            The “guys complaining about women” was actually E-UNI experience. Sure, there’s a PG rule there (not the same as PC, so quite a lot *did* fly, as long as you managed to do it without dropping f-bombs), which is an enormous improvement. As for interactions with other corps, it was being absolutely horrible or being absolutely horrible in Russian, under mistaken assumption that Cyryllic counts as encryption.

            But yeah, I’m not enormously experienced with online games. Possibly that’s the usual, the possibility is pretty much why my idea of online gameplay is KSP forums.

          • PoLLeNSKi says:

            Really depends on the community you’re with, I’ve never had issues with dealing with immature/offensive language in the groups I’ve flown with.

    • Smashbox says:

      Truly excellent trailer – I also won’t ever play Eve.

    • Morte66 says:

      It’s all stuff that happens, but not as often as you’d like. You’re as likely to hear “they outnumber use 3:2, we’re disengaging” or “we outnumber them 3:2, they’re disengaging”, or “anything going on today?”.

  9. Hideous says:

    I’ve only played EVE as a miner. Don’t play EVE as a miner. You hover in front of a rock, sell the rocks, so you can hover in front of better rocks. It is very boring and a great way to ruin your initial EVE experience :(

    • FireStorm1010 says:

      :) I started the same long time ago, but it was such a long time ago when mining in 0.0 really could give you lots of isk fast.(there were no even missions then).It actually allowed me to pvp fast, cause i had lots of isk, and i became quite good at it. I used to joke all that rage builidng up while mining had to go somehwere:)/

      Yea but prolly nowadays mining isnt a really good way to earn, if they havent made any changes (havent played for long time.)

    • mickygor says:

      I find mining’s a nice way to relax after a stressful day/week/life

  10. welverin says:

    Coco Pops? Is that a British thing or did you just get Coco Puffs wrong?

    • Kala says:

      …If you’re an American you got everything wrong, including rugby and rounders. :p

      • Blackcompany says:

        Gods did we ever get Rugby wrong over here. Put pads on it, instituted a play clock and allowed the game stop every 5 seconds for half a minute at a time, up to and including for commercial breaks. We even named it after the wrong sport entirely.

        Having recently discovered and come to (mostly) understand real Rugby, I struggle to watch “American Football” at all anymore. Ten minutes of play interspersed between nearly three hours of commercials with two ex-jocks yapping away in technical jargon simply isn’t very entertaining by comparison.

        • Kala says:

          So youtube doesn’t have the clip of Giles from Buffy going on a date to watch football with Ms. Calendar and going on a rant about this, which is a shame, because it would be both humorous and pertinent :(

  11. Yargh says:

    That is an evil evil trailer.

  12. FireStorm1010 says:

    Good trailer. It actually really shows what Eve is like at its best moments and its awsome. Ofc there is also that dozens of hours between when not much is happening.

  13. Hebrind says:

    The only issue I really had with EVE was that nomatter how hard I tried (and believe me I tried really hard), I couldn’t find a corp that was mostly British people. I don’t mind being in the same corp as Americans or Europeans or Australians, but being around when those people are online is very difficult to do while keeping a real-life job going too.

    Whenever I logged on, there’d be one American, maybe two, who had come on really early, and there’d be an Australian pulling an all-nighter. The rest would be offline. I didn’t have very good luck with corps :(

    • cosmitz says:

      Large corps put huge focus on timezones. Generally alliances strive to have people across ALL timezones.

  14. ludde says:

    Really dislike the AoE effects in EVE. Why are blue, sparkly lightning clouds clipping through the middle of the ships? What is that even supposed to be and how does it make sense?

    Always found it a bit of a shame as they’ve otherwise put so much detail into the visuals.

    • PoLLeNSKi says:

      I think what you’re talking about are Warp Disruption Bubbles – basically a way of stopping the other fleet from ‘warping’ off the battlefield (and can be used to make them land a few hundred km off their intended destination)

  15. Contrafibularity says:

    There should be an award for most misleading gameplay video and this should win by a landslide.

    • cosmitz says:

      Consider this as a video of what it feels like for an Eve player as opposed to what appears on the screen. If you get to that point, a titan appearing out of nowhere to welp a carrier is impressive. It might not look impressive when you’re zoomed out and just see a new text entry in your overview, but for someone that’s there.. it is.

      • Contrafibularity says:

        I was referring to the fact that this video is more like what EVE looks like maybe 1% of the time, only after you’ve sunk more than 12-36 months and more than 100-200 euros into the game, waited for all the completely pointless skill queues to complete, and accepted the fact that you should’ve actually started playing EVE over ten years ago. But hey if you don’t mind being shaken down by an excessively greedy MMO developer and don’t mind comparing endless stats and commodity prices and grinding till your eyes bleed, I guess this video is about as accurate as any MMO trailer.

        The most fun anyone can ever have in EVE is in the first few months when you’re blissfully unaware how greedy and unimaginative CCP really is. Do some exploring, get blown up by wormhole aliens and gankers a few times, join a corp, and by the time you reach cloaking devices just quit while you’re ahead because it’s all downhill from there.

        But hey if you’re under EVE’s spell and it works for you that’s great.

        • cosmitz says:

          This weekend i spend over 12 hours getting newbies in the game, handing out free ISK and private-convoing them about their worries and answering their questions. On the strategic op we had last night which involved over 600 people and capital ships, i was surprised to fly with over 50 people that were UNDER 8 hours in the game.

    • Quinnbeast says:

      How is Sulkfest Online working out for you?


    This actually was some pretty good, if too tech-centric, sci-fi… except for the part where the people being exploded start to laugh

    • cosmitz says:

      They laughed because they couldn’t do anything else.. they knew they were doomed. And it never was supposed to be an ‘in universe’ trailer. This is all about the real people behind the ships.

  17. cosmitz says:

    If anyone wants a 21 day trial link, here’s one: link to

    • PoLLeNSKi says:

      link to

      The reason we’re giving these links is not pure altruism but because if you subsequently upgrade that trial to a paid account then we get free gametime – so you get an extra week of the trial period for nothing, we get a free month gamecard should you upgrade (or we can sell the time for in-game currency)

  18. racccoon says:

    CCP = Continuous Copy n Pasters

  19. Meestercat says:

    Jim will always be Jim “Jump, jump, jump” Rossignol to me.

  20. BobbJeff says:

    EVE is a very fun and rewarding game if you take the time to get into it. If you join the right player run corporation when you first start out you can have a ton of fun as a newbie. It’s overwhelming in the beginning but there are so many players that are more than whiling to help out new players. I was actually in one of the fleets you see in this trailer and I can personally say it was as fun as it looks from the trailer.

    If you are interested in playing EVE use this link to get a extended 21 day free trail as apposed to a 14 day trail.
    link to