Wacky Physics Sandwichbox: I Am Bread Released

Toasty!

I’m sure your emoji are nice and all, but what’d really enrich my written communication is sound effects. Take this post: what I have to do is explain that the company behind Surgeon Simulator yesterday released onto Steam Early Access I Am Bread, a zany physics sandbox where you control a sentient slice of bread roaming a house trying to become tastier. And how am I to do that without all the wacky cartoon bongs, boings, bings, pings, pops, plops, twangs, gongs, horns, and slide whistles that such a post demands? Tch. I guess we’ll find out.

So there you are, a slice of bread with unlikely powers of movement – powered by some form of starchy muscular hydrostat, I suppose. You can control your four corners independently, and use this together with wonky physics to move around, shuffling, crawling, climbing. As you roam around, you can gather toppings and toast yourself on hot things, becoming more edible. And also you can mess with things in typical wacky physics style.

I should’ve somehow worked this soundboard in.

I Am Bread’s Early Access version only has four levels, but developers Bossa plan to add more ahead of a proper launch early next year. They’re teasing that later chapters of the story will go somewhere unexpected, and surely also wacky. A launch discount brings it down to £5.94.

Look, this is more how this post should sound:

25 Comments

  1. padger says:

    No, *I* am bread!

    /Spartacus

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      Qazinsky says:

      *Points at Padger*
      “He’s bread! Please, I don’t want to get nailed to stuff…”

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    Henke says:

    This Troy Baker-voiced gameplay video sold me more on this game than any of the trailers have: link to youtube.com Not so much because of Baker but more because it shows there’s an actual game in there and not just “zany” “wacky” bullshit.

    • Jalan says:

      I’d be more likely to buy it if Baker were actually voicing the bread. It may have merits otherwise, but the control scheme screams “zany, wacky bullshit” to me.

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        Henke says:

        Well what controls would YOU make for a slice of bread?

      • wondermoth says:

        Based on not much play, I’d say the controls can be, err… not exactly mastered, but overcome. This isn’t Surgeon Simulator. It’s playable. There’s also a proper game struggling to get out; it’s challenging, and fun, and when I’ve failed it’s always felt like it was my fault. I can see myself dipping into this from time to time for some light relief, in the exact same way that I don’t with Simulators Surgeon and Goat.

        Also, the backstory is… intriguing.

      • Moraven says:

        Kinda like Octodad, the sequel. But you are Bread,

  3. Spacewalk says:

    Gluten/10.

  4. Shazbut says:

    An unfinished game about pretending to be a slice of bread is currently the second top selling game on Steam.

    • grimdanfango says:

      It’s little things like this that occasionally restore my faith in humanity :-)

      • Hmm-Hmm. says:

        Why? To me it seems like the type of game in the category of Youtube/Twitch attention hoggers. Like, say, slender, surgeonsimulator, goatsimulator and the like.

        • Distec says:

          I sort of agree. I’ve even purchased a few of these to see if I could “get it”, but I guess it’s not for me. I’m not really regretting my purchase of, say, Goat Simulator. But I don’t think I ever loaded it up beyond the night it was originally purchased. I’m a bit over wacky fads like “Alternative Game: YOU ARE A DOOKNOB. Are you ready to get HANDLED?!?!”

          But, y’know. I still watch Adult Swim. So…

          • skyfire322 says:

            Same here. With Goat Simulator, there were plenty of “Haha” moments, but the *insert any random object* Simulator is just…. Yeah.

        • TechnicalBen says:

          You have no heart…

          As a child, what games do people prefer to play? That the “bread” is alive, or the game where they pretend to be pre-industrial assassins jumping from housetops?

          (Ok, I’ve not helped myself much there with that argument ;) )

  5. Halk says:

    It’s pretty annoying that nowadays “released” and “launch trailer” mean out in early access.

  6. Biggus_Dikkus says:

    Now i will have nightmares

  7. Coops07 says:

    I AM BREAD HEAR ME R…. *silence*