The last time I tried to play the original Wolfenstein 3D was a few years back, on a netbook. It seemed like a good idea at the time. About half an hour later my contorted, shrivelled fingers revolted, crawled out of their sockets and attempted to end me.
They failed, of course, because fingers detached from hands cannot exert significant pressure. So it is that today I am able to play Super Wolfenstein HD, a free game created by Broforce devs Free Lives for the Indies vs. Pewdiepie jam. You may already have encountered Where Is My Hammer: Destroy Everything from the same jam. Super Wolfenstein HD is loosely similar in concept, except everything is Nazis. So much Nazis.
It’s kind of brilliant. Tackling these Nazi soldiers is a little like fighting an army of weebles that someone’s attached machine guns to. Alternate metaphor: it’s like you’re playing a multiplayer FPS in which everyone else has the controls of QWOP (nb: precedent). What I’m trying to say is that they are inept, hilarious and fall over a lot. The game’s walls are destructible and chunks fly around everywhere as the Nazis generally succeed in shooting everything but you.
There are also dogs. The dogs are brilliant. It’s especially good when they get stuck in the level geometry. Seriously, folks: playing this was a great start to the day.
There are two versions of the game; the original was finished within the jam’s timeframe, whilst the second was buffed up a bit later. It includes a shovel, something id’s original vision was sorely lacking, along with “realistic physics” – ha! The updated version also has a boss with chainguns for arms, who’s probably supposed to be Hitler. He managed to kill me, but only because I ran out of bullets. If only I could get him stuck in the level geometry somehow…