I don’t know about you, readers, but it is ruddy cold in my flat at the moment. It’s January, so we’ve come to expect this sort of thing, but it’s not helped by our storage heaters. Ever lived anywhere with storage heaters? They work like this: they use lots of money to store a small amount of heat, and then they keep it for themselves and don’t let you have any.
Because it’s so cold I’m seriously contemplating burrowing inside as much duvet and blanket as can be physically placed atop a wooden bedframe and not emerging for 48 hours. At which point I will no doubt blossom into a beautiful butterfly, flapping my gossamer wings as I am borne aloft on a sun beam, laughing callously through my curling proboscis at the ground-bound pupae flopping about beneath me.
When I am not dreaming beautiful butterfly dreams, I’ll be playing games on whatever laptops I can drag into my new lair. Perhaps I’ll play multiple games at once and bask in the warmth of multiple mini-computers. Who can say what mood will take me.
Now, in a break with tradition I’m going to invite you all to suggest the warmest places to play games, and then I want to know which games you would play in these places. Here’s a few to get you started:
- Inside the steaming hide of a tauntaun: any of those delicious old Star Wars games that GOG recently re-released.
- Amidst the thermonuclear orgy at the heart of a star: Little Inferno.
- Inside the throbbing vein on the forehead of a very angry man: SpaceChem, so as to release soothing endorphins into his bloodstream.
- Whilst tied to a stake as flames lick hungrily at your ankles: Wetris.
- Inside the nutrient goo of an egg upon which Mother Bird sits: Red Faction: Gorillaz.
- When you are Woody Harrelson in that bit in 2012 when he’s watching the Yellowstone supervolcano blossom and you can see his buttcrack: McPixel.
- Standing in a puddle of T-ENG recently liberated from the inside of an Akrid, wondering where your life went wrong: Spec Ops: The Line.