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Where's The Boning? Bonetown - The Power Of Death

The Icy Throne is my favourite sexual technique.

Way back in 2008, Kieron played Bonetown, a game where you beat up dudes and totally do it with hot chicks. And by “do it” I mean “engage in the act of sexual congress”! But I’m pretty puzzled by the sequel, Bonetown – The Power of Death [Steam page], which launched yesterday. I don’t see any hot chicks, for starters. Or boning (that’s slang for sexual congress). Even to my eyes and desires, this medieval fantasy action-RPG about a skeleton looks like an entirely different game.

“Play in this epic fantasy-adventure game where you can explore and do everything you want. Build, craft, search, steal… and fight for your liberty!” say developers CPSoft. The original Bonetown was made by a different studio, D-Dub Software, which may be why this is so different.

Perhaps “do everything you want” is a reference to sexual acts so shocking to polite society they couldn’t even hint at them on Steam. You know, the really cool sex tricks for advanced sex-havers: the old Hammy Sprocket; the double-reverse Jammie Dodger; Old Man’s Hand; Dead Man’s Switch; A Bird in the Hand; Schoolboy Error; A Stitch in Time; Vale of Tears; Chew the Fat; The Fatted Calf; Brian Blessed; Owl and Otter Sanctuary; Throbbing Gristle; Full Sex to Completion.

If you’re feeling bold – sexy and bold – you can find it on Steam. The trailer doesn’t show any boning, but it wouldn’t, would it?

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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