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Lordly: Telltale's Game Of Thrones Episode 3 Out Today

Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. It's not going to happen.

Some times you want an expert. You want someone who knows a game inside and out, back to front, uphill both ways in the snow. This person is also a menace. They’ll let story spoilers slip or, worse, show off with hints that aren’t as cryptic as they think. No, some times you want a fool, a know-nothing dolt who can’t ruin everything. That’s me with Game of Thrones.

So here’s me, certified clueless about the… Europa Universalis fanfic?, with word that The Sword in the Darkness, Episode 3 of Telltale’s Game of Thrones series [official site], will launch on PC today. I don’t know what’s happening in this trailer, but that won’t stop me from talking about it.

As far as I can tell, it’s a medieval fantasy adaptation of Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.

An unruly gang of serfpunks are causing trouble in town, setting fires, intimidating locals, and going wherever they jolly well please. The role of squealing Scullions leader Zed (played memorably by Bobcat Goldthwait) seems to be filled by a dragon, though it still has its hideout in a cave in an abandoned zoo. Elsewhere, Commandant Lassard and his wife are under pressure from the Chief and the bleating fools of high society. Mahoney and the gang are rallying their forces, but the plot may deviate from the movie here as Moses Hightower seems to be a sleepy tree now.

As I understand it, anyway.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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