DAY 6: The Weedabout
Alec: First order of business was fixing everything Dan got wrong. Power shortages, big areas without water, major districts garbage trucks couldn’t reach… I also discovered that someone had mysteriously set the city’s spend on water and sewage down to just 64%, which explained why our residents had been generating a small country’s worth of excrement for so long. There was no-one manning our many pipes; there was a backlog of logs. It’s a miracle anyone had survived The Brown Apocalypse. Dan had lured people in well enough, but I had little doubt that they were in a living hell.
So I fixed all that, then I filled in all the space he’d left for railways as punishment for his poor micro-management.
I decided this wasn’t punishment enough, so I legalised recreational drugs in New Dansville and renamed it ‘The Weedabout.’
I also gave it free public transport in order to attract more tourists to witness his Ozymandias moment.
I decided this still wasn’t punishment enough, so then I built this just outside The Weedabout:
Then I felt a bit guilty for picking on Dan, so I created a new district for the corner of town we kept our increasingly full landfills in.
Karmic balance is restored. I am sure that there will be zero consequences for my entirely justified actions.
With these important tasks completed, I decided it was time to put the brakes on expansion for a while and concentrate instead of improvement. As beautiful as crude vitriol spelled out in trees was, I felt that this was not yet an appealing place to live. I didn’t want to simply gloss over The Room’s dark history, however, so the first thing I built was this Monument to Death, right off the highway exit, in order that no visitor could possibly forget what a necropolis this place once was.
Next, I wanted to make the roads less of an ey- and earsore. Given our limited funds we’d built the whole town around basic roads, which created noise pollution as well as making the whole place look like a giant car park. So I merrily upgraded everything I could to tree-lined streets – this would raise happiness and land value, and those poor shmoes we’d stuffed right in the middle of heavy industry and highway junctions would hopefully no longer be wishing they too were taken in the great Shit-Plague Of Turn 4. (Really, a whole lot of bulldozing was required, but I don’t think any of us have the will just yet).
I made a huge mistake. I had one way roads selected. A large portion of the city is now exclusively one-way roads. Where do they go? How do you join them? Can you ever leave them? I was afraid. Too afraid to look closely. So I ran. Maybe it will be OK?
From thereon in I spent most of my time tinkering with The Weedabout, which had been spared this one-way blight. I upgraded roads, added in a few parks and special buildings, and then built the world’s most excessive garbage van route. This area was ill-served by refuse collection, due to being a million miles from anywhere and Dan’s bizarre concentric one-way roundabout layout, but I didn’t want to start a second landfill site – Jonathan’s House had more than enough capacity for the city’s waste. So, yeah, I did this.
It’s an expensive band-aid over a spurting arterial wound, but it did solve the problem. By not zoning anything along that road, no-one other than dump trucks ever uses it. No more garbage pile-up, no more trucks braving the labyrinthine city centre one-way system just to go collect The Weedabout’s mountain of empty Rizla packets.
With money trickling in nicely I built a few more special buildings and parks around town, finally giving the populace something to do other than work and get high. I also decided that someone should benefit from the coastline before we fully littered it with windfarms, so I built a road right down to the beach, then zoned room for just one home. These are the luckiest guys in town, and also the most hated.
With the city looking a whole lot prettier (and hopefully a whole lot more valuable), it was finally time to open the doors again. I built vast new residential zones in The East Side and a new strip mall between it and the industrial area. Ready for the population influx, I also set up a prospective new farming district. Jonathan’s tiny, restricted-access forestry zone was failing, and I found myself bulldozing abandoned buildings there regularly, so perhaps our fortune would instead lie in livestock.
Big Town time. And big squabbles ahead, I think.
You can download our savegame as it was by the end of this turn here. Yes, there are A HUNDRED MILLION THINGS WRONG with it.