20 Thoughts On The Project CARS Renault Trailer

The majesty of the windfarm at sundown.

Project CARS [official site] – that racing game which should be coming out mid-May following a bunch of delays and shiny pictures of shiny cars being shiny – has a new trailer. It’s far less about “racing” and far more about textures and surfaces and loving and caressing vehicles through camera angles.

Here are twenty (20) thoughts about the whole thing:

1. Ooh – a PEGI 3 rating. Presumably this is because children are inspired by the story of how Kim Jong-un learned to drive at the age of three and will be picking up Project CARS as important revision for their tests.

2. This Renault has a WMD2015 license plate. Project CARS has been delayed a billion times (conservative estimate) so perhaps it started life as a topical sideswipe just after the millennium and they’ve just left it in. Wait, if you look at old screenshots it has been updated to 2015 from 2014 – so is this satire? Can you have a satirical license plate? Should I send out some freelance pitches for a Top Satire In License Plates feature?

3. Lensflare. This is number four on the official racing game trailer drinking game list. You should fetch the whisky.

4. I don’t think this Clio knows how to “racing”. That is clearly “parking”. The other cars know how to “racing” and so they will probably win. Maybe the Clio doesn’t care because it has decided not to even compete. That is the only way to win. Good job, Clio.

5. Drifting. This is number seven on the drinking game list so you should get on that.

6. WMD2015 has returned to be aggressively sleek despite some wet weather. There is a competition between the road surface and the car for who can be the shiniest because, really, this is a trailer about textures and graphics and nothing else.

7. But we are not supposed to notice that so there is DASHBOARD CAM. This Renault is horribly smug because it is going really fast and it has all the petrol it can eat and you could chill champagne in the engine coolant or whatever. If the car was a) real and b) had opposable thumbs you just know it would have imgur-ed that and posted it as a humblebrag on Reddit and now be obsessively checking for upvotes.

What's cooler than being cool? Being stuck in a bunch of Renault engine coolant, apparently.

8. Lensflare.

9. NIGHTTIME. In the world of racing game trailers this is the equivalent of those key changes you get two thirds of the way through a Westlife ballad.

10. The Clio continues to give a masterclass in “parking”.

11. BUT WAIT it was a ruse all along and now it can zoom all over the place.

12. Lensflare.

13. Lensflare.

14. Lensflare.

15. Drifting.

16. Lensflare.

17. Drifting.

18. You should probably add “buy a new bottle of drinking game whisky” to your shopping list. Also please do not attempt to actually drive because you are clearly trollied right now.

19. I don’t really recognise this approach to racing that isn’t about smashing your opponents off the road. Perhaps it is I who does not know how to “racing”.

20. Signoff with a slightly sleazy-feeling closeup of the car’s butt.

~ FIN ~

16 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    distantlurker says:

    *distant sound of running, leather soled shoes on marble*

    *time passes*

    *Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold*

    *sound of running gets closer*

    *BAM! Door flies open. Man in Black suit, white shirt (no tie) enters, clearly out of breath*

    OK!

    I got…. phew! man! that was a long way…

    I got the whisky. Who’s go is it?

    • rustybroomhandle says:

      The Hobbit on the ZX Speccy – my first ever game not typed in from a magazine, good times. :) But I digress… Cars, woof, vroom, yay, lens flares, etc. !

  2. Mechorpheus says:

    Thanks Pip, you made my day :) Great piece.

  3. Llewyn says:

    Hmmm. The coolant shouldn’t be cold, it should be keeping the temperature of the oil stable – in a modern road car it’ll generally be at 90C because that’s the temperature the oil wants to be. They must be (Slightly) Mad to racing their Clio without giving it chance to warm up first.

    (No, I don’t expect racing games to model oil and coolant temperature in detail, but assuming the gauge there is static I’m surprised they didn’t opt for it sitting comfortably at the mid-point.)

    • haev says:

      I believe it was shown as cold because the car may have been just driven from the pits, seeing as the fuel gauge is full.

      Slightly Mad has actually gone a bit mad with the extent that they are simulating things. Heck, if you bump your front end too hard, you can bust up the radiator, which will have an effect on your engine temperatures. Track elevation directly affects atmospheric pressure, which has a significant effect on naturally aspirated vehicles. etc, etc.

  4. Dogsbody says:

    While a FWD car can oversteer, it cannot ‘drift,’ per se.

    /pedantic

  5. A Gentleman and a Taffer says:

    RPS trailer reviews are the best. More of this sort of thing! Huzzah!

  6. edwardh says:

    “Project CARS has been delayed a billion times”

    Which I find a huge problem. When media of it was first released, I was stunned.
    Later, I was still amazed and couldn’t wait for it.
    Now… I’m more like “I guess it still looks very good but there are some issues that make it look a bit dated. Meh, I’ll just go for a quick spin”.
    Had they been able to release it 1-2 years ago, I would’ve been all over it.

    • ButteringSundays says:

      That plus Assetto Corsa is out now for the more serious racing crowd. Plus it has very good mod support. Which reminds me I should be playing Assetto Corsa.

      • GomezTheChimp says:

        AC = The Emperor`s New Clothes. Sure, it looks pretty, but as a SP game, it sucks. Terrible AI, a career mode that isn`t worth bothering with, a handful of cars and tracks, redundant driving modes (does anybody do drag races?), too many road cars, most of which are Lotus, and no proper Championship mode. This makes it pretty expensive if you buy the core game and the DLC (which is necessary to make up for the lack of content in the core game).
        Much as I like driving around the Nordschleife in the Nissan, it`s Stock Car Extreme I return to for my driving fun. SCE still uses the ancient RF1 graphics engine, but has the best physics and FFB you can get, and has all the features that are missing from AC, including a huge roster of cars and tracks (if you can get over the fact that most of the tracks are Brazilian).
        Finally, there are no micro-transactions; all the updates, including new cars, tracks and even entire race series are free.

  7. SlimShanks says:

    If you want to get my heart racing, showing me a video of a French hatchback sliding lackadaisically around corners just isn’t going to do it. Also, I pretty much lost interest in this game when I found out there was no mod support. Shame, because I thought Shift 2 was tremendous.

  8. P.Funk says:

    PCars, showing you what the online racing will look like in trailer format.

  9. Arbodnangle Scrulp says:

    It looks wheely wheel-istic!