I’m a seething ball of impatience this weekend, guys. Next week, I get to be on a press release. On a press release. Not writing one, not writing about one, but actually functioning as content on someone’s press release. It isn’t particularly Big News, but it is, at the very least, Moderately Sized News. Pardon me while I snoopy dance. In the meantime, have some bargains in a bucket. And a heart-warming story from the owner of this week’s plushie aka Andrew Wheeler. His ferocious orc, it would seem, was purchased before he and his girlfriend could move in together. He ventured far and wide to find an orc that wasn’t very typical, before having something delivered from Etsy. Charmingly, the doll maker included the custom-built helmet you saw without being asked to do so.
Goat Simulator. Man, Goat Simulator. What is there to be said about Goat Simulator that has not already been said? It’s a beautiful, broken mess of a game with deliberately wonky physics and a madness that makes Bloodborne seem downright sober. You play as a goat, obviously. A people-licking, wild-eyed goat who sometimes finds herself doing impossible things like summoning the devil. Or something. It feels like the world is evenly split between those who like Goat Simulator, and those who don’t. Where do you belong? (Amazon has strict ideas about who can purchase their games. But, if you make an account and use an American mailing address, it should be all good.)
Guild Wars 2
If you’re sick of vertical progression and the breathless, endless climb towards end game, Guild Wars 2 might be the game for you. Especially given the most recent rash of updates and changes to the game. Either way, it remains a gorgeous MMO with interesting enough mechanics, an interesting enough Living Story, and the best cat-cow people this side of the digital divide. I haven’t played the game in a long time, so I can’t offer you an incisive blurb. But there are RockPaperShotgun-eers who still play, and you should play with them. (Introduce yourselves, lads and lasses!)
Pay What You Want 10 Anniversary Bundle
Beat $4.96/£3.39/€4.69 to get all the games
Has the Mac Game Store really been around for 10 years? Huh. Who knew? While some of the games from this digital distribution platform have been, in the past, compatible with PC usage, I make no guarantees here. Nonetheless, I’m no miser with space. Plus, the Pay What You Want Anniversary Bundle is also funneling some amount of cash into a good cause. The games also get a nod of moderate approval from me. I loved Night of the Rabbit, enjoyed Among the Sleep, was rabidly fond of Torchlight II and have varying degrees of non-hate for the rest.
Grand Theft Auto V
Grand Theft Auto V is the story on every PC gamer’s lips, and for good reason! It was what all the console gamers were raving about last year. And finally, it’s on the verge of being ours. Pre-orders are ugly business, but if you desperately want to pick up the game soon instead of, you know, in another six months: Nuuvem’s probably got the cheapest pre-order thingamabob right now. Have at it, if that’s your speed. (Be certain to have Hola handy in order to get around region-blocking weirdness. I know last week, there were a number of folk who wasn’t quite acquainted with the process.)
Also of note
Dynamite Comic Bundle – $12/£8.20/€11.34
More games? Nah, man. Comics. Say hello to Storybundle’s first comic bundle. It’s a doozy. We’ve got a myriad of interesting titles, ranging from perennial favorites like Red Sonja to Game of Thrones to Bob’s Burgers and .. wait, Bob’s burgers? Why not, I suppose? I’d have loved for there to be more complete collections. But that seems to be a trend with these bundles: to present a teaser, in order to encourage further purchases. Alas. Capitalism.
Civilization V: The Complete Edition – $12/£8.20/€11.34
An awkward need to defend my choices compels me to say, “This was a lot cheaper not too long ago, you know?” Unfortunately, the discount has migrated from an elegant 84% to a not-terrible-but-not-jaw-dropping 76%. That said, it’s still a good price for this lovely game, which may or may not have consumed a variety of people I know.