As someone who’s entire career is about staring silently and slack-jawed at lists of patch updates, I have nothing but love for Garry Newman. He’s the kind of guy who’ll write an update that says: “I’ve been spending a good wedge of my time looking at performance, figuring out why the game sometimes runs like shit.” What prose! What truth!
Then he’ll go on to post pictures of guys playing electric guitar with their wangs hanging loose.
Things like this are central to Rust [official site], a game that has inspired its own developers to introduce guitars into the game so you can finally impress fellow players with your instrumental cover version of Smoke on the Water.
According to Newman: “I wanted to slip the guitar in as a quick secret and have people randomly discover it after we released the patch. But that didn’t work. So what the hell is this guitar doing in Rust? Well a few days ago I noticed that our spear holding pose. It got me thinking: ‘I bet that could fit a guitar, too’. So I downloaded a guitar from the asset store and it did.”
It’s an actual playable guitar. You can play different notes by changing your screen pitch and pressing left or right mouse buttons.
You can check out the full run-down of new updates right here, including something for people who hate lawns: “Remember when everyone was like ‘hey let us turn the grass off’ and were like ‘why’ and they were like ‘because it lags us out’ and we were like ‘no it doesn’t’ and they were like ‘grrr’ and we were like ‘there will never be an option to turn grass off.’ Well now we are like ‘lol, here’s an option to turn the grass off.'”