In an ideal world I’d be reviewing The Witcher 3 [official site] for RPS (not that we got code at the same time as consoleland, waah waah what a cold and hostile universe this is), but now I’m a beleaguered dad I barely have time for morning ablutions, let alone 100-200 hours of stabbing and sexing. All being well, I will start a relaxed-of-pace diary series about the earlier chunks of the CPD’s humungo-RPG next week, however. I’m looking forward to it, given the broadly rapturous reception. Just a few days now; the hype-cannon has fired off this ultro-flashy CGI trailer as a near-climactic volley.
It’s very impressive in a whole lot of ways – I’d watch a whole movie looking like this quite happily – but it includes both the dark’n’strange strengths of Witcher games and the unrepentantly laddish mindset which brings ongoing criticism to their door.
It’s all very epic and everything, and I do like the spooky singing implying that Witchers are to be as feared as they are admired, but in the name of not being quite so unreconstructed, couldn’t they at least make Geralt take his trousers off too so everyone gets to leer at something?
Nice to see the traditionally dorkly RPG trope of potion-quaffing depicted in this way though, demonstrating both their importance to Witcher combat and that they can be kind of cool when they do something to the character outside of adjusting health meters. I can’t think of many cutscenes with flasks in.
The Witcher 3 is due for release on Monday. Here are the various times it’ll unlock, depending on where you live.