Here Isn’t Two Seconds Of DOOM Footage

Bethesda has just sent us a link to a video showing literally two seconds of footage from the forthcoming DOOM, in which nothing happens. Two seconds. That’s not an exaggeration. So confident are Bethesda in the frothing excitement for a fifth instalment in the series that they’re putting this out as an “E3 teaser”, with the expectation that we’ll all dance for them. We’d suggest this confidence is somewhat misplaced, and so below you’ll find some videos for some trailers for other cool stuff instead.

There’s a new Muppets series coming this Autumn, and it looks brilliant!

Time Lapse looks like it could be great, and has The Flash’s excellent Danielle Panabaker in it:

Here’s the incredible 1986 trailer for The Labyrinth:

A LEGO Brickumentary looks like it could be lovely:

And, okay, this doesn’t look cool, but it does look like the dumbest thing in the history of all time. FOX’s The Frankenstein Code:

WHY DOES HE JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW?

71 Comments

  1. Spider Jerusalem says:

    The modern Frankenstein (‘s creature) doesn’t have time for doors.

    • RYNOBIG says:

      I had trouble watching this thinking about him landing barefoot on all of those pieces of glass.

  2. Banks says:

    #cute

  3. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    I still haven’t played Doom 3, is it worth a go now that my PC is definitely capable of playing it?

    • John O says:

      Oooooh, Muppets!

    • John O says:

      Sorry. Don’t play Doom 3 if you expect to play a Doom game. If you expect an OK shooter, sure. Go ahead.

    • reggiep says:

      RAGE was better, and I didn’t like RAGE.

    • Syra says:

      Yes! Play it! These days it is cool to hate, but it was a really impressive achievement technologically for its time (about a year before HL2) and a damn fun game – it has some pretty cool ideas but even more tired horror tropes, and feels like an old school arcadey shooter to play. Just don’t look too closely at any of the textures…

      Also I really liked RAGE too – it had some of the best, most natural characters and animations since HL2. It failed on account of the lack of incentive to use any of the cool toys it gave, and its weirdly rushed second act – I mean abrupt ending 2 missions after the end of the first act, which turned it into a straight pew pew game. Oh and the inexplicable kart-racing multiplayer
      ..still worth it for the co-op! shooter missions.

      • whorhay says:

        If by about a year, you mean 2 months.

        One of the things that Doom 3 did that was a big switch up from previous games was shadows and areas not in light be black. Not just darker but actually black, turning up the gama did nothing to make dark areas easily visible.

    • Shakes999 says:

      Its ok. Its another one of those games that just doesn’t know when to end thou. Its definitely about 5 hours too long. If they would have trimmed some of the fat, it would have been much more memorable.

    • tornflags says:

      Make sure you get Doom 3: BFG Edition (the one where you can have the flaslight AND gun at the same time). Still a very good old-school shooter.

    • horrorgasm says:

      Do NOT get the BFG edition.. They actually made the game look WORSE than it used to with all the terrible brightness changes. You can just get a free tiny mod that fix that issue. In fact you can get free graphic enhancement mods that will make the game look a huge amount better than the horrible BFG edition does.

      • Dominare says:

        Agree – the BFG edition definitely looks worse than the original game IMO. As for being able to use the light and your gun at the same time (jesus are people still whining about that?) its a design decision that they made and it works. There are times when you have to choose between being able to see and being able to shoot and that is absolutely a good thing for the kind of game Doom 3 is trying to be. Almost all the enemies have demonic glowing eyes among other clues so you always have a decent idea of where to point your shotgun anyway if you’re paying attention.

    • Nouser says:

      How much do you like shooting monsters suddenly appearing in middle of the darkness?

    • drewski says:

      Depends what you want. If you want a tightly scripted, spectacular shooter, no. If you want a Doom 2 sequel, no. If you want a jump scare heavy, highly atmospheric, intensely tense, paranoid shooter experience, then yes.

      I enjoyed it. The shooting bits are done well, the balance between seeing things and being able to shoot them works nicely for me, the level design is solid and the atmosphere is great. Not since System Shock 2 have I been so relieved to finish a game because I just couldn’t handle the tension much longer. It’s by no means flawless, and it’s not really a Doom game other than being horror themed and set on Mars, but on it’s own, it works.

    • Razumen says:

      Yes, just don’t get the BFG edition, it breaks a lot of mods, and changes a lot of stuff that didn’t need changing for the worse.

  4. DrollRemark says:

    Oh man, I bet the guy who wrote the “Second chances can be a real monster” line was SO proud of himself after he came up with it.

  5. Skab says:

    “We’d suggest this confidence is somewhat misplaced”

    And yet people are losing their shit over it in other places. So perhaps it’s not misplaced at all.

  6. piedpiper says:

    Damn it’s not just 2 seconds, it’s REVENANT.

    • tangoliber says:

      Not impressed by the shotgun, but the Revenent looks great. Pretty good “teaser” in my opinion.

      Indie games often get us hyped with short gifs of some animation. I’m extremely hyped for Spire simply do to a couple of 2 second gifs. Not much different, in my opinion…but would have been better suited as a gif.

      • Kaeoschassis says:

        Haven’t seen it yet, but “not impressed by the shotgun” is a huge alarm bell for me, as I suspect some people around here are coming to predict.

        You cannot have a good shooter with a bad shotgun. You cannot have a good Doom game without a fantastic shotgun.

        • Distec says:

          You can probably stow the alarm for now, since I think it’s rather impossible to assess the new Doom’s shotgun when it’s pretty much only flashed for a second.

          • Jackablade says:

            Yeah I’d probably be inclined to wait until I at least see it fire before I lay judgement.

  7. McPartyson says:

    Maybe Bethesda released the clip as bait? They know nobody cares about Doom! They’re setting us up for another disappointing Doom game announcement on purpose when actually what they will do is reveal the new Fallout!?

  8. phelix says:

    Just short enough for the average attention span.

    /coat

  9. Didero says:

    1) New Muppets woo! Thanks for linking that, I hadn’t heard about it.
    2) Oh god, a new Muppets show. And they even say “Muppets for adults”. They’re going to completely ruin the show, aren’t they? Hopefully they won’t ruin the Muppets altogether…

    • SIDD says:

      ad 2) and here I thought “Muppets for adults” was this: link to imdb.com

    • John O says:

      I thought Muppets: Most Wanted was kind of for adults.

    • Rikard Peterson says:

      They don’t seem to have the huge guest celebrity of the week, or maybe they just chose to highlight the muppets themselves in the trailer? That’s a bit odd considering that the old series had huge stars doing fun things, and I imagine it might be even easier to get the stars today, when most of them have grown up with Muppets or Sesame Street.

      If they can get it right, this could be great though. While I haven’t seen the latest movie (most wanted), I was a bit disappointed by the 2011 movie. Maybe I had too high hopes for it, but while it has its moments, it was underwhelming. But the Muppets probably works best on tv. I don’t think even the Jim Henson muppet movies measure up to the series.

    • defunct says:

      I’m confused about this, too. I always thought the Muppets WERE for adults! The kids just get to watch, too. Except I don’t have kids, so I watch it by myself. I still watch Muppets from Space! And always pine for the time when there was a Muppets IN Space!!

  10. Wulfram says:

    In this modern world, do people really have time for teasers that last more than 2 seconds?

  11. Synesthesia says:

    I love you guys. Less of two second nothings!

    SONNY IM THE SHERIFF.

  12. XhomeB says:

    Dear RPS, should you get your hands on the pre-release version or get to talk to someone from what’s-left-of-id, PLEASE tell us about/talk to id about the level design.
    Honestly, if this thing features the same “go down this scripted to hell corridor with cutscenes around every corner and no secrets/mazes/side paths”, then it’s DOOM in name only. I’m so tired of how lazy FPS level designers are these days.

  13. Premium User Badge

    Mungrul says:

    Wait, FIFTH installment in the series?
    Did I miss something?

    • tannerdactyl says:

      I.. I think John is including Final DOOM in his count? I’m confused, too.

    • tannerdactyl says:

      If it is the fifth, it should be titled DOO/V\.

      • Syra says:

        That is just confusing.

        Also there was an expandalone for Doom3 called Ressurection of Evil iirc?

        Actually let’s just count (I think in order?):

        Doom
        Ultimate Doom
        Doom II
        Final Doom
        Doom 64 (Which was so bad it’s the only console game my brother ever asked for a refund on…)
        Doom 3
        Doom Resurrection of Evil
        Doom – The Doom of id, being slowly crushed into financial and creative obscurity by the demanding heel of Bethesda.

        8th game by my count!

        • dethtoll says:

          I think it’s fair to exclude expansions, which means Master Levels, No Rest For The Living and Resurrection of Evil can all be safely dropped. So really, it’s just the 6th entry — Doom, Doom 2, Final Doom, Doom 64, Doom 3, and now the new one.

          • horrorgasm says:

            Wasn’t Doom 64 just the same game with different graphics too anyway?

          • dethtoll says:

            Pretty much. Cartridge space constraints necessitated somewhat smaller levels compared to Doom 2 or Final Doom (which is fine when you couldn’t quicksave) and some enemies were dropped (also fine because who wants to deal with Arch-Viles and Revenants on a gamepad?) but it was otherwise basically the same old Classic Doom we know and love.

        • dethtoll says:

          Also, Doom 64 is amazing and you are wrong.

        • Razumen says:

          Doom 64 terrible? It was literally Doom with an advanced engine, sweet music and all new levels. It was literally the best console version of doom in my honest opinion.

  14. derbefrier says:

    haha jokes on you i watched it on an other site.

    also I havent heard about the new muppets show..sweet!

    • hprice says:

      Sweet!??? Are you insane?? The Muppets died for me when Jim Henson left this mortal coil. Kermit for me is now an imposter. Even though he looks relatively the same, his voice is completely wrong. How can anyone watch Kermit without thinking this is just buying into the fact that they basically killed Kermit off, and replaced him with a different (possibly evil) frog.

      And as for the Doom footage, that great website PC Gamer says that it is 3!! seconds of footage!! So which is it gaming journalists (and I use that as a pejorative term … ha!)??? Is it 2 or 3 seconds??? The truth is all important in matters as important as these … important.

      • Jackablade says:

        Maybe PC Gamer got an extra second of footage for not poking fun at Bethesda’s silly marketing.

  15. golem09 says:

    Timelapse looks so stupid.

    -Here’s a perfectly controllable moneymachine
    -Hmm, that’s a boring movie, how do we get conflict into this?
    -Let’s just make the characters incredibly stupid
    -ok, should work

    • trout says:

      i thought Primer (2004) did a pretty good job of plausible conflict re; time travel – never quite got the ending tho :(

  16. Continuity says:

    Well, I watched it. Not excited.

  17. OctoStepdad says:

    Can someone explain why the The Labyrinth trailer doesn’t have the best song.. DANCE MAGIC!

    • Syra says:

      Because it is terrifying.

    • Rikard Peterson says:

      I haven’t seen Labyrinth… should I?

      • Spacewalk says:

        Only between fingers.

      • The First Door says:

        I think John is just exhausted from living up to Bethesda’s expectations. Sorry.

        Actually, I’m not, I adore Labyrinth, it has some amazing lines in it. You should absolutely see it, but just be aware that it is very odd in places.

  18. Premium User Badge

    MrPin says:

    LEGO FTW!

  19. thesundaybest says:

    12 second video…with 10 seconds of titles. Nice.

  20. Premium User Badge

    Aerothorn says:

    I actually saw Time Lapse back when it was on the indie circuit. It’s…pretty bad.

    It’s not a cash-in – the cast and crew are doing their best – but it artificially creates drama by having characters act nonsensically (not just irrationally, but actual “why would this character ever do this”) and then tries to paper it over with a TWIST that makes everything that came before look restrained.

    The Q&A with the writers/directors was also uniquely terrible. One person asked them about a pretty glaring plot hole, and their reply was “Yeah, I could see how you wouldn’t get this on a first viewing. You should buy the blu-ray and watch it again!”

    • The First Door says:

      Sadly many Q&As I’ve been to at festivals have been terrible. Either the audience is too reverential to ask decent questions, or the answers are rubbish. I’d highly recommend The Infinite Man if you get a chance to see it though. It’s a bit like Primer with a sense of humour. I remember it being very Australian too, which was fun:

      link to youtu.be

  21. Kerfawful the Waffle says:

    You know, I hope this DOOM game doesn’t have too much of a story driven element that will ruin everything like some other modern games. That is, unless the story is actually good and has good acting and the works, but DOOM doesn’t really need a story. The story could be that the demons took your sandwich condiments for all I care, as long as it doesn’t encumber the gameplay in any way.

  22. int says:

    Chrissakes, we already got a supershotty and a revenant, what more do you want? More cacodemons for the children?

  23. Tycow says:

    Given my preference for a Fallout related announcement, I have the following comment:

    I never asked for this.

    (P.s. Slightly drunk right now)

  24. DrScuttles says:

    I really liked the DOOM film. There, I said it.

  25. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Hats off for keeping RPS classy. I seem to remember a period where you folks did this sort of article a bunch, but then actual teasers and trailers were posted for a long time, albeit with witty titles, sometimes alt-text, commentary, and comments. More off-topic linkless teaser-/trailer-announcement posts, please!

    But also: I accidentally watched the Doooom teaser on another site and mildly liked what I saw, but I’ll probably forget about it in a week or so. The only teaser I can recall to this day is the one for Saints Row 3 which contains a mere single second of actual gameplay footage. It, in its classy 36-second lead-in lead-out entirety, may also have been a major factor in my puchasing decision.

  26. cylentstorm says:

    DOOM: a game that I loved to play with my fellow oddballs in high school.
    DOOM 3: A game that was fun for a few drunken co-op sessions but quickly forgotten.
    RAGE: More drunken co-op fun. Less claustrophobia.
    DOOM 4 Fuck’s Sake: Shooter. Yay. What’s next?