Grand Theft Auto Online Tacky Expensive Junk Next Week

Travis Touchdown, is that you?

I have few desires in life. I’m content as long as I have a swimsuit, somewhere cold to swim, a cool leather jacket, and a sweet neck tattoo. I earned enough to fulfil my every dream in Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] within a couple of hours. Perhaps you want more. Perhaps it’s never enough. Perhaps you want everyone to see how much money you have, and how little taste.

In that case: good news! Rockstar have two releases of expensive cars, guns, and other tacky garbage coming to GTA Online, starting next week. Hideous gold helicopter, anyone?

The Ill-Gotten Gains Part 1 update will bring some golden jets, helicopters, and guns to GTA Online, along with new cars, grotesque vehicle wraps, and “hundreds” of new items of clothing. Surely some of those clothes won’t be ghastly. A second pack will follow later in the summer. The update will be free, but you’ll need to earn in-game cash to buy this tat.

Ugh.

The rise towards guadiness is a curious thing in online games with persistent rankings and cash and whatnot. Most high-end sets in MMOs look absurd, F2P games sell gaudy oddities and daft costumes, and good grief just look at the ugly weapons that sell for a ton in Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. What’s the point of wealth if people don’t know you’re wealthy, I suppose. And in the game HEY-O! I do like that many of The Secret World‘s expensive clothes are simply well-designed, well-put-together outfits that look good without being showy.

I still haven’t played much GTA Online (I got my swimsuit, found a swimming spot, bought a cool leather jacket, and got a sweet neck tattoo) so for folks who’ve gotten stuck in and earned loadsa money I’m curious: what do you spend that on? Will you be tempted by this flash tat?

Ick.

11 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    Henke says:

    I don’t play Online that often, and my regular crew rarely has 4 members online at once so the heists are mostly off-limits. Already got a swanky appartment and some cool cars with turbo upgrades and bulletproof tires. Now I’m saving up for a jet.

  2. phelix says:

    Cue Harry Enfield: link to youtube.com

  3. Marley says:

    Ive been playing quite a large amount GTA Online and honestly I’m just glad there’s new content regardless of what it is. It has got to the point where Im just grinding to get a Hydra, but this update will add some cool outfits, new cars and other vehicles to keep me interested.

  4. nimbulan says:

    I’ve pretty much given up on Online after only a couple weeks. Trying to play missions with people you don’t know is a nightmare and after 2 years of operation, the open world is still the most unbalanced gameplay experience I’ve ever had in my entire life and is often one of the most frustrating. High level players love to run around and shoot everyone / blow up everybody’s vehicles yet they have 5x as much health as I do and blowing up their very expensive car drains my bank account like nothing else, and only if they’re stupid enough not to drive around in an armored vehicle. There’s a 50% chance that immediately after finishing a mission, one of your partners will shoot you in an attempt to steal the money you just made. Open world events spawn very rarely and usually end up with someone trying to ruin the event for everyone else.

    So basically all I have left is grinding jobs so I can afford new vehicles, where the reward is based on the time taken, so the most profitable way to complete them is to park and take a nap for a few minutes to increase the reward. Good job Rockstar.

  5. innerdrum says:

    Nice title ☻

  6. Chorltonwheelie says:

    All that grinding to look like a Cheshire hairdresser.

  7. iMad says:

    Cant say I’m all thrilled about this. Grinding heists after heists for a shiny that’ll get blown up by one homing rocket isn’t exactly what I call a rewarding experience.

  8. cqdemal says:

    I have two characters in Online. My main character is dressed like Abe Lincoln. Across the two characters, I’ve spent around $9.5 million on vehicles.

    That gullwinged Huayra/LaFerrari mutant shall be mine.

  9. Kala says:

    “Hideous gold helicopter, anyone?”

    Needs glitter.

  10. rushinrussssian says:

    I don’t get why rockstar is bringing dlc into the game instead of fixing the issues present in the game like the fact that so many people still can’t play online.