[A Joke About Wangs]: Shadow Warrior 2

Shadow Warrior 2: Wang Harder. 2 Wang 2 Warrior. Shadow Warrior: The Secret of the Wang. Shadow Warrior And The Last Wang/Raiders of the Lost Wang/Kingdom of the Crystal Wang/Wang of Doom. Judgement Wang. Shadow Warrior VII: The Wang Awakens. Shadow Warrior: The Wang of Ultron.

Wang World.

Evidence points toward an official Shadow Warrior 2 [official site] announcement in the near future (and, hey, isn’t E3 in the near future?). I have collected the evidence in a small pile, along with some lint and pistachio shells.

First of all, there’s a tweet (I know, I know) from the official Shadow Warrior account that says, and I quote, “Who wants some more Wang?”. That tweet also contains this picture.

There’s also the fact that the Shadow Warrior site was playing a weird teaser video yesterday evening but it seems to have fallen over now, perhaps because it turned out that a lot of people did want more Wang, so much so that they kept clawing at the URL until it couldn’t take it anymore.

Edit: It’s working again now and the announcement is confirmed for later today.

OK. That’s it. Now that I’ve lined it up, it’s not exactly the kind of evidence I’d want to present in a court of law but it’s enough. I’d bet my bottom dollar that Flying Wild Hog are working on Wang right now.

And I’m glad because Shadow Warrior is one of my favourite singleplayer FPS games of recent years. It’s the kind of game that someone might refer to as “unapologetically oldschool”, even if they’ve never actually heard anyone apologising for making something oldschool. Calling it an FPS is a bit of a stretch, unless that ‘S’ stands for slashing. And I don’t mean slashing as in ‘doing a wee’. The new iteration of Shadow Warrior is silly but it isn’t as crass as the 1997 original and even back then you couldn’t piss on the baddies. Postal 2 is the only first-person pisser I can think of.


  1. OmNomNom says:

    Actually works with every film ever:

    The Wanging Man.
    Star Wang: Return of the trousers
    Apocalypse Wang

    • Blackcompany says:

      Wang it, you got all the goods already….

    • pilouuuu says:

      The Secret of Wang Island
      Gone with the wang
      Planet of the Wangs
      Teenage Mutant Ninja Wangs

    • Geebs says:

      Wangs of New York
      I am a Fugitive from a Chain Wang
      Gone With the Wang
      Iron Wang
      ……The Human Wang

      • Geebs says:

        @pilouuuuu: dammit, great wangs think alike.

        • pilouuuu says:

          Haha right, I also thought of Wangbusters just like OmNomNom.
          May the Wang be with you!

    • Vandelay says:

      Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Wang Rabbit
      Wallace and Gromit: The Wang Trousers
      Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Wang

      No Wang for Old Men
      Dude, Where’s my Wang?

      • pilouuuu says:

        Wow! Amazing. Pretty much anything related to Wallace & Gromit works with wangs!

        Chicken Wang
        Wang Run

  2. Jalan says:

    I’d be okay with Flying Wild Hog developing something else but this will do just fine as well.

  3. GallonOfAlan says:

    I have the first one, which was enjoyable yet ultimately very samey. I would like this one to have much more varied environments.

    • Apocalypse says:

      To be completely honest: Shadow Warrior was disappointing simply because Hard Reset created higher expectations of Flying Wild Hog.

      It was ok, but the boss fights were even worse than Hard Reset (and kind of identical to those too) and the level design was worse than the very linear Hard Reset too.

      Overall I would prefer something like Hard Reset 2. But hey, maybe they improve on the swordplay and it will be awesome.

  4. piedpiper says:

    They updated original game with DX11 graphics nad two new Zilla fights. So I beat it again. And now they announce sequel. I am happy. Hope they will do Hard Reset 2 after this one.

  5. ansionnach says:

    Raider of the Lost Wang is actually a level in the original Shadow Warrior. Played through it and its expansions for the first time recently. It’s mindless fun but nowhere near as good as Duke3d. Loads of backtracking and a lack of fresh ideas over many many seemingly unconnected maps… reminded me of Wolfenstein 3D. That was fun before the novelty of hearing the soldiers speak wore off and you’d tried all the weapons. Its mazey levels were pretty boring, even in 1992.

    Sounds like the new Shadow Warrior is quite different. Wouldn’t have gotten very far in the original game with the sword. Used it to kill these ghosts as they rise from dead enemies. I tended to use the grenade and rocket launchers a lot more than in other FPS games. There were far more grenades than rockets so even though the grenades had a much wider area of effect I tried to use them as much as possible, bouncing them off walls to clear rooms of enemies. There was also quite a lot of ammo for the shotgun. Uzis were good too, but there wasn’t enough ammo so I often used only one at a time. Found most of the other weapons to have limited use. The most powerful weapon, the ripper heart, made the bosses simple: using one created a clone of Lo Wang equipped with a rail gun. All you’d have to do is summon a clone and hide somewhere, repeating until your ninja butler did the job for you!

  6. phelix says:

    Please have the sword mechanics of the first and more human foes.

  7. Ferno says:

    I picked up shadow warrior in a christmas steam sale a few years back after reading a good thing about it. It took me a year to get round to playing it but I’m glad I did! That game was a real blast and for once I actually enjoyed boss fights. I also expected to hate the voice acting but was pleasantly surprised by it being all right after all.

    It got a bit samey towards the end (works well as a short game) so let’s hope they’ve mixed things up a bit for this one to give it some novelty. More good sword fighting please and fewer shitty flying bat enemies.

  8. CelticPixel says:

    Top Unexpectedly Great Game of 2013. I’ll definitely insta-buy a sequel. Maybe it’s time for another playthrough.

  9. Firkragg says:

    Shadow Warrior: Wanganum Edition
    A FPS where you trampoline through the world of Numberwang, collecting numbers.

  10. KillahMate says:

    Shadow Warrior 2: The Wangening

  11. Xzi says:

    I am excite. Rather enjoyed Shadow Warrior. The gameplay was fun for me the whole way through.

  12. ButterflyRogers says:

    Two wangs are better than one.

  13. MattM says:

    I really wanted to play SW and their previous game Hard Reset, but the headbobing and screen shaking gave me a headache after 10 minutes of play. Here’s hoping they finally add an option to turn it off.

    • Apocalypse says:

      I am quite positive that you could turn it off in hard reset, because I think I have turned it off there.
      Though I can not even remember to have this issue with SW2013 *shrugs*

      • MattM says:

        I googled around and checked the steam forums for both games and found threads where people were unsuccessfully looking for a way to turn off headbob so I don’t think it was possible.

  14. Paul says:

    Shadow Warrior was amazing, both in gameplay and (surprisingly) in writing. I was both moved and laughed my ass off.
    Incredible difference compared to Hard Reset, which was written terribly (was still a good game though).

    • Apocalypse says:

      Maybe you have seen more stereotypical sci-fi stuff than japan-mystic-parodies, because honestly, the writing was terrible in shadow warrior too. The only difference is that the game was supposed to be super cheesy, unlike hard reset, which was supposed to be just cheesy ;-)

      For me Hard Resets stays on top of Shadow Warrior 2013

  15. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Ah, see this here thing, Internet? This is how you do a game announcement announcement! Self-referential joke about making jokes, a collection of easy (but nevertheless fun) jokes which is large enough to be amusing in its size, then “I have collected the evidence in a small pile, along with some lint and pistachio shells”*, some useful why-you-might-care commentary, and finally polished off with a totally appropriate potty joke.

    *This was actually my favourite part, much as I enjoyed all the wang jokes and general tongue-in-cheekiness.