Partial Warhammer: 5 Seconds Of Total War: Warhammer

behiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind you

I know, I know, we shouldn’t play ball with this kind of tease me, tease me, aha now you have to wait some more marketing, but c’mon, it’s Total War: Warhammer [official site]. The world’s greatest tabletop setting being recreated at immense scale. I want it bad, despite not being all that much of a Total War guy. The scant but Griffony footage appears right at the end of a two minute video showboating about all the Total Wars to date, and a soundtrack doing to Everybody Wants To Rule The World what Gary Jules did to Mad World. Poor old Tears For Fears. I think the TWW clip is in-engine, though it’s hard to say when it’s that short. There’s a hint of greenskin in there too.

Big Bird there is, for the record, an Imperial Griffon, which fights for the Empire, as do those beardmen in red. With judicious pausing, you can see that they’re in the middle of a big old barney wit some Orcs (probably Black Orcs, specifically):

But yeah, that’s it. Booo! Kinda amazing how neatly a clip of giant, fantastical death-bird fits into a series of shots from purely historical games, but that’s bombastic editing for you.

Me, I know diddlesome-squat about the game I dearly wish was called Total Warhammer, but we might be hearing a bit more about it from our Pip at E3 soon. Apparently the rest of us will get to see a full Total Warhammer trailer at some point next month. All I really want to see is how the Tzeentch Lord of Change looks in-game. I’m chuffed to bits that’s the Chaos god they went with.


  1. ironman Tetsuo says:

    2 minutes of hype for 5 seconds of Warhammer?
    TOTALly WARth it :-)

    • Loyal_Viggo says:

      All CA need to do is the following for Total Win:

      1) Update TW Medieval II for today’s tech (engine, graphics, etc), NOTHING else, don’t fuck it up CA
      2) Don’t be Total Fascists, let modders get access on a level with Medieval II engine
      3) Look at the total conversion for Medieval II Kingdoms called ‘Total Warhammer – Rage of the Dark Gods’
      4) Copy this *exactly*, updating for new shiny Med2 engine
      5) No more DLC you kuntas
      6) Profit!

  2. Horg says:

    When this one finally launches, the world might as well declare a global holiday. All work will stop. All families will be forgotten. Sunlight will be shunned. For a few days in the not too distant future, there will be only war….

    • Chiron says:

      They are releasing a 40k game?


      Honestly I have mixed feelings about this, I’m hoping for something along the lines of Dark Omen rather than Mark of Chaos

      • David Bliff says:

        Honest question: How would you do a 40k Total War game? I would love to see it attempted, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of 40k is about squad- and company-level combat (particularly with Astartes, presumably the “central” force to play as in the game) rather than drawn out battle lines, and with indoor rather than outdoor combat. I can see maybe a larger-scale Dawn of War game (which is what Relic long ago mentioned as a possible direction for Dawn of War 3), or a Total War game that’s just Orks vs. IG, but not a truly-open 40k Total War game with all the races thrown in, necessarily.

        • Spiralling says:

          Apocalypse would work better than standard I think.

        • Cyroch says:

          I could mabe see it working with some kind of allies/factions system, whereby you would never have an entire army of astartes for example, but rather have them supplement a larger force of, for example IG. Would require a lot of originality to justify it from a lore standpoint if it would happen on a regular basis however.

  3. gunny1993 says:

    People really love doing slow paced downtrodden covers of tears for fears songs.

    Don’t fuck this up CA, I don’t want fancy graphics, I don’t want new ways to fight, I want just some competent AI that doesn’t jack in the box my ass all the time (Too much) or randomly execute my family for no reason.

    • gombicek says:

      Then CA probably isn’t the best option:) They sure know how to make nice atmospheric game. But good AI aren’t theirs prime. But at least here in Warhammer I won’t be bothered by various historical inaccuracies

      • gunny1993 says:

        If I knew of anygame which had a mix of grand strategy and real time tactics, i’d be all over it.

    • HyenaGrin says:

      I feel like any Warhammer gamer that doesn’t include random executions is probably failing at its job.

      Random executions are like, a central theme of Warhammer.

  4. misterT0AST says:

    I want to repeat, as I did once when this game was mentioned, that the world portrayed in the game is an “old world” of Warhammer Fantasy that has been literally destroyed in the official lore in the last months.
    The new Warhammer is in a weird new setting. A new world almost entirely comprised of rivaling factions of humans, where the biggest (but not only) players are the faction worshipping Sigmar and the faction worshipping Chaos.
    Elves are united, Necromancy is spread evenly across the kingdoms, and some chosen heroes from the previous world (not only Sigmar, but Grimgor, Balthasar Gelt, Nagash) have fully ascended to Godhood.

    Voices tell of a world with many more female/multiethnic characters, no more big blocks of infantry, but rather a focus on individual models.

    In short, the Warhammer Fantasy portrayed in this game is dead.
    The new edition takes place in an entirely different setting and has an entirely different feel to it.

    • Greg Wild says:

      Yeah, it’s been looking this way for a while. There’s some rumours here for anyone wondering about the rumoured specifics: link to

      Not that I am a GW guy these days, but if that’s how things are going to turn out I really cannot see me being terribly interested, even as a passive observer.

    • PancakeWizard says:

      Glad you clarified that, as I never realised what a lucky escape we’ve had. That new Warhammer fantasy sounds fucking awful!

    • David Bliff says:

      So the new setting is worse, or better? Conversely, is it good that this is using the old setting? Also, why is GW letting them use an outdated setting for the game? Given how tightly they control their IPs it seems unusual.

      • gunny1993 says:

        Knowing GW, the old setting was being milked dry by middling authors (no i’m not just assuming that based on 40K … okay yes I am) I say hats off to them for at least attempting to shake things up.

      • gombicek says:

        Probably because its better known. There are many books from the old setting, and three games done in the past. So people are probably expecting this older version of the setting from Warhammer Fantasy. I don’t know if the newer version of the setting is better because I know almost nothing about it.

    • Soulstrider says:

      AFAIK this “new world” of Warhammer is just unconfirmed rumors and most likely false.

  5. Holderist says:

    Adele must be the go-to singer/musician for trailers this past year.

  6. Rolento says:

    Excited!!! Was that Karl Franz riding Deathclaw? Fingers, arms, legs and everything else crossed!! Being able to play will make up for all the months i spent painting my armies, back in the day, and not actually fighting with them.

  7. Superpat says:

    Kind of sad there was so little (perhaps none?) footage from medieval 2, that was my first opus and the one I spent the most time on. (I played rome 1, but only at my uncles)

  8. king0zymandias says:

    I can’t believe they actually used a Video Copilot template from a free tutorial. And without attribution too. So unprofessional.

  9. BubbaNZ says:

    Total WAAAGH!: WAAAGH!hammer. Exclamation mark.

  10. Aetylus says:

    Dammit. For so long I’ve been holding off buying Rome 2 as CA have become evil DLC abusing scumbags. Now they give me that trailer for Total War loveliness, coupled with 75% off.

    I am a weak weak man.