Cardboard Children – June Board Game News

Hello youse!

It’s time for the June board game news. And it’s summer! It’s actually the summer! I can tell it’s the summer because here in Glasgow it has been grey and rainy for weeks. It is absolutely glorious! But at least it’s perfect weather for staying indoors to play board games. Or the perfect weather for staying in to, I dunno, whatever it was that Leatherface was doing at the start of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, before those teenagers turned up.


Mayfair Games just announced this new Star Trek game, and we all love a good Star Trek game, right? My favourite Star Trek board game is Fleet Captains – a big, fun thing. I love it. Here’s my review of THAT one since then, it’s been expanded with a Romulan set and a big box of Dominion bastards. I loved the Dominion. Best Star Trek baddies, easily. ANYWAY… This one, “Five Year Mission”, is a co-op game that plays up to seven players. Every player is a member of the crew, and everyone has to work together to overcome certain disasters. I’ve had a look at the components list – and I see that there are lots of dice. So I imagine it might be some kind of dice game. Lots of rolling and re-rolling to deal with threats and stuff. Looks like that, right? And it would be in keeping with current trends. Hm. I’ll definitely be checking this one out.

But hey – HEY – look at that box cover. Isn’t that awful? I mean – LOOK AT IT. The original Star Trek crew are, for some reason, looking at a publicity photo of the Next Generation crew on their big screen. It’s like they’ve just pulled up a big jpeg of the Next Generation crew on a Google image search. Awful. Charmingly shite.


Treefrog Games have lost the license for Discworld board games. Hm. Why does this matter? Well, I think Ankh-Morpork is a nice wee game, as I said right here, but I think it’s probably a REALLY nice thing for a Discworld fan to have. And I’d imagine this licensing issue will impact any reprints of this game. That’s what I’d imagine anyway. So, for safety’s sake, if you’ve ever fancied picking up Ankh-Morpork – now is the time to do it. I’m probably just being over-cautious, but hey – I am your loyal servant.


Battlelore 2nd Edition is a great game. A tried, tested, solid, excellent game. I told you so right here. (Have I reviewed everything? It’s starting to feel like I’ve reviewed everything.)

Well, there’s been a new faction announced for the game. A whole new army, in a whole new colour. A beautiful PURPLE. My favourite colour! And they’re UNDEAD. You beauty!

Honestly, look at these bastards! There’s a kinda zombie dragon thing. And there’s a scary man on a horse. And there’s a skeleton with a bow and arrow, like the ones in Descent. There’s a big woman banshee thing or something with things either holding her down or she has them on chains, I dunno, but she’s PURPLE.

As great a game as Battlelore is, we’ve been needing a new army in the mix – and zombies and skeletons are always a nice bet, right? I can’t wait to pick these up. They’re PURPLE! Like Prince!


From the first moment I heard about Spyfall I was all “lemme just climb out of this hot bath baby I wanna hear more about this party game.” Basically, every player gets dealt a card that shows a particular location, the SAME location, except for one player who is dealt a card telling him he’s the SPY. Then the players ask each other questions to try to flush out the spy – and the spy tries to work out what the location is. That’s instantly brilliant, isn’t it? An instantly brilliant idea.

Well, the game is finally out in English and- right, hold on. Is it sold out of its first printing already? What’s going on? Let me check. No! It’s out tomorrow in the UK! But wait – is it sold out in the States? Oh, who cares. America has enough stuff. America has steaks and guns and shit. It has enough. In fact, you know what? If you’re an American reading this – GO AND CHECK YOURSELF IF SPYFALL IS AVAILABLE. Do it on your fancy COMPUTERS! Do you realise that none of us outside the States even have computers?! And yet everyone in America has one. And what do you people use your computers for? DEER HUNTING SIMULATORS.

Honestly. What is it with you Americans? Honestly.


Finally, I rarely talk about Kickstarter board games, but I just like the look of this one. It’s called Monster Truck Mayhem and it looks like a big silly thing.

It kinda reminds me of the lovely SNES game Super Off-Road, and the simplicity of the rules is right up my street. It also has beautiful art by the guy who did King of Tokyo, Benjamin Raynal.

I mean – look at this! Hee hee!

Aw look – I have no horse in this race here. I just thought this looked fun and cool and I wanted to tell you about it. OKAY? Get off my back, shithead!

Okay dudes.


Next time I’m digging into the INDIE GAMES sector. Enough talk about games from big publishers. They get ENOUGH coverage. I’m gonna review an indie release, and as we continue down the line I want to cover more small-print indie stuff. So if you’re a designer of little things, indie things, get in touch with me or holler at me in the comments. I want to have your back going forward.


Next time.

See you next time.


  1. Tiax says:

    XCOM review part 2 ?

  2. kwyjibo says:

    We need an update on the shenmometer.

  3. Blackcompany says:

    Not affiliated with them at all, but would love your thoughts on Smallbox games. Probably impractical for an actual review, as their games are impossible to get your hands on without helping to fund a print run. But boy are they pretty swell games, especially considering their small size and inexpensive cost.

  4. thekelvingreen says:

    Speaking of purple, how likely is it that there’s going to be a Tyranid expansion for Forbidden Stars, full of nice purple Tyranid miniatures? I’m thinking 87% chance.

  5. Diziet Sma says:

    For those rushing to try and find the Ankh Morpork game, it’s RRP was £29.99, before giving £50 and up to eBay, Amazon et al. check Waterstones and see if your local store still has a copy in stock at retail price.

    • tonallyoff says:

      For real, that game was everywhere. Don’t encourage the scalpers who all jacked their prices up off the back of this news.

  6. Bull0 says:

    Forbidden Stars came out last week and is sitting pretty in my cupboard awaiting an opportunity to play. I have at least had a look at all the tokens and cards, etc. Lovely stuff.

  7. TimePointFive says:

    Tabletop Simulator. Finally boardgames have demos!

  8. Radiant says:

    if you cant wait there’s a lovely free online version of spyfall that you can sit around anywhere and play on your phones/tablets/laptops.
    We break it out when we’re sitting in the park or in a car or pretty much anywhere people have their phones and it never gets not fun or too vicious.
    If you play with the same people you get to pick up on small things and an entirely new meta game emerges.

    You just start a game and give everyone the code to join and the dark magic of the website handles all the spy not spy stuff. It’s a brilliant waste of time


  9. Moraven says:

    link to

    Looks like someone got photos of Star Trek 5-Year at the Origins Game Fair.

    Forbidden Stars releases in 2 days in the States (unless your local store got some already). Can’t wait to try it in July.

  10. OpT1mUs says:

    Ameritrash Children

  11. Eggheart says:

    Loved the ‘charmingly shite’ Star Trek game box! I laughed out loud. And I never laugh at anything. Thank you.

  12. Gallandz says:

    The wife and I have been loving Shadows of Brimstone; great Ameritrash dungeon-crawl.