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Honey, It's Home: Five Nights At Freddy's 4 Out Now

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a game in possession of a release date, must be in want of a delay. When Mr Ubi or Miss 2K (no known connection to Mis-Teeq) tell us that their next sequel will be coming out on May 12th, we’re inclined to make like Kyle Reese and ask “WHAT YEAR?” Delays are common but when did a game last release before an announced launch date?

By doing precisely that, Five Nights At Freddy’s 4 [official site] may have pulled off the biggest jumpscare of all. Checking Steam releases last night, I saw the bothersome old bear staring back at me. The game was originally supposed to release on August 4th, the one-year anniversary of the original, but here it is…

Let’s remind ourselves what’s happening in FNAF Land.

Oh, that’s right. The murderous animatronics are inside somebody’s house. You play as a child.

This time, the terror has followed you home.

In this last chapter of the Five Nights at Freddy’s original story, you must once again defend yourself against Freddy Fazbear, Chica, Bonnie, Foxy, and even worse things that lurk in the shadows. Playing as a child whose role is yet unknown, you must safeguard yourself until 6am by watching the doors, as well as warding off unwanted creatures that may venture into your closet or onto the bed behind you.

You have only a flashlight to protect yourself. It will scare away things that may be creeping at the far end of the hallways, but be careful, and listen. If something has crept too close, then shining lights in its eyes will be your end.

FNAF is popular with The Kids, which leads me to believe that the internet is forging a generation much hardier than my own. I grew up on a diet of horror films and gory games, but I’ve never been able to endure jumpscares. I find the experience of playing the Five Nights at Freddy’s agonisingly similar to the experience of staring down a Jack in the Box. Maybe if I’d grown up clicking on links and expecting Rick Astley screamers to take over my screen and speakers, I’d find FNAF altogether less stressful and would be able to pick over the story and draw some fanfic.

As it is, the worst thing that happened to me was borrowing a library book and turning the page to see that somebody had written “POO” in the margin. It’s not quite the same.

Anyhow, yes, Five Nights At Freddy’s 4. Out now. Notice that it’s described as the “last chapter of the Five Nights at Freddy’s original story”. Spinoff ahoy!

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